Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 16 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Woman charged with attempted murder for beating 92-year-old man with brick Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, July 16 in 1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began the first manned mission to land on the moon. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Every crowd has a silver lining. --- Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) 99% of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. --- George Washington Carver ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Riddle answer: YOU are the driver. From AmberRose: I passed it on to several friends. Would you believe - none of them got the right answer? _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements submitted to the police on report forms. (Or at least they claim to be ACTUAL statements. You be the judge.) The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't know. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him. I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him. My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull. I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laquisha Jones, 30, Los Angeles, California Woman charged with attempted murder for beating 92-year-old man with brick Laquisha has been arrested five additional times in the past, with a prostitution conviction. This is her sixth arrest. She Shouted Racist Statements at Him & Told Him to 'Go Back to Mexico,' Witnesses Say. According to the witness, who asked that she not be named, Jones repeatedly screamed a series of racist statements at Rodriguez while beating him, the Los Angeles Times reports. Laquisha, accused of severely injuring a 92-year-old man with a brick is now facing charges of attempted murder and elder abuse, prosecutors said. Laquisha Jones, 30, allegedly attacked the elderly man with a brick south of Los Angeles on July 4, the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office said. A "woman pushed him and dropped him," a witness told ABC station KABC-TV in Los Angeles. "She took the block of concrete and hit him in his head many times." Jones, who prosecutors said fled the scene after seeing that somebody was recording her assault, was arrested Tuesday and initially faced the charge of assault with a deadly weapon. The district attorney's office announced the attempted murder and elder abuse charges on Thursday. I heard her saying, go back to your country, go back to Mexico, Borjas told CNN. When I tried to videotape her with my cell phone, she threw that same concrete block, tried to hit my car. Despite Jones allegedly telling Rodriguez to go back to his country (he is of Mexican descent, but is a legal U.S. resident), LASD has determined that the attack on Rodriguez is not a hate-related incident, the department wrote in a statement. The 92-year-old was hospitalized after the assault in Willowbrook. According to his family, Rodriguez suffered two broken ribs, a broken jaw, broken cheekbones, and bruising throughout his face and body. He is still recovering from his injuries. Tech Support Pits From: Taurus Re: Making screen Savers Dear Webby, As I have told you many times, I love your Dad's pictures of his cacti. I would like to make them in to screen savers, but my senior mind has forgot how. Can you help me? I have learned many things from your computer tips and enjoy the letter immensely. I like the links you have on left side as they remind me to click on them & feed the poor, animals, and the breast cancer sight. You do lots of good for so many. Many thanks, Taurus. Dear Taurus The easiest way to make a screensaver is this: Use the Windows File Explorer to find your "My Pictures" folder. Make a new folder inside that and call it Archive Switch the File Explorer to Thumbnail view, Click on Folders, so that it shows the folders on the left side. (This works much better in Classical mode) Drag all pictures that you don't want included in your screen saver into the "Archive" folder. Save any new pictures, that you want included, into the "My Pictures" folder. Right-click on the desktop, Properties, Appearance, Screensaver Select "My Pictures" Set the delay time, and hit OK a bunch of times. From then on you will have a slide show of the pictures in "My Pictures" as a screen saver. If you want to make screen savers to send to friends, pick one from http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=free+screensaver+maker&meta= Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Riddle answer: Look in the mirror! YOU are the driver. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I saw one where they ask what is the worst thing you could receive on your twenty fifth wedding anniversary?" You know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Clean Garden Tools Spray your garden tools with a little cooking oil or WD-40 and they will be very easy to clean when you are done gardening. You can then rinse them off with water. Make sure to recoat when needed. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Georgia USA's Little Grand Canyon |
___________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, seven widows, four widowers, and three single men stepped to the front. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. "They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "Then I just use their last name!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, July 16 in 1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of Kuchuk- Kainardji, ending their six-year war. 1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured Stony Point, NY. 1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was established as the permanent seat of the United States Government. 1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed to ratify the constitution. 1845 The New York Yacht Club hosted the first American boating regatta. 1875 The new French constitution was finalized. 1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo. 1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken near the Florida Keys. 1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to install parking meters. 1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion. England had used to annexation of the southern part of Poland as reason to start WWII, but up to that point had ought only outside of England. 1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested foreign Jews. 1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their drive toward Germany. 1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb in a test at Alamogordo, NM. 1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. They watched Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup soccer finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was first published. 1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 3 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds. 1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began the first manned mission to land on the moon. 1973 Alexander P. Butterfield informed the Senate committee investigating the Watergate affair of the existence of recorded tapes. 1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing Hasan al-Bakr to resign. 1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan. 2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of release. 2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears left after 9/11, expecting a similar attack, because Arabs claim that Sears is owned by Jews. 2011 The NASA space probe Dawn entered Vesta orbit. 2018 Do smiled. |
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