Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, March 25 ______________________________________________________ Today, March 25 in 1940 The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access to all American warplanes. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Virginia police officer arrested, charged with soliciting minor for sex ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), in Thus Spoke Zarathustra _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ______________________________________________________ Flying Rainbow _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Simeon Isaiah Crispin Steers-Smith, 30, Chesterfield, Virginia Virginia police officer arrested, charged with soliciting minor for sex Chesterfield County Police officer has been arrested after police say he tried to solicit a minor for sex online. Simeon Isaiah Crispin Steers-Smith, 30, was arrested Friday, March 22 by Hanover County Sheriff's Office investigators and members from the Southern Virginia Internet Crimes Against Children/FBI Child Exploitation Task Forces. Steers-Smith is accused of soliciting a sexual encounter with a task force officer who was posing as a minor online. He has been charged with three felony counts of use of a communications system to facilitate certain offenses involving children. From: David Re: Full size browser Dear DearWebby I've asked you this before, but I must be doing something wrong. When I click on a link that opens a new window, I like for it to be full screen. Lately, the windows are coming up quarter screen size. I thought you told me the last time to expanded the screens by dragging it from the corners and then holding down the Ctrl key while closing the window and would make it remember my preference. I'm not having any luck with that though. I'm still getting the quarter screen every time I open a new window. What is the right way of doing that trick or what could be making it go back to quarter screen? I use IE. Thanks, David Dear David Viewing pages full size has gone out of fashion, because you don't see what might be opening behind it. Also, with the higher resolutions commonly used nowadays, you can comfortably have two pages open side by side if you squish them a bit. F11 toggles a window to full screen and back. To set full screen as the default, even though Microsoft has decided it is a dumb idea and refuses to tell you how to do it, follow this top secret rigmarole: Close all browser windows but one. Open a new window from a link on the remaining window. Close the old window (not the new one that just opened up). Adjust the window to be the size you want all the new windows to be (you cannot use the maximize button for this, you have to actually squish or stretch the size of the window to be what you want the windows to automatically open up as). Hold down the CTRL key while closing the window. >From now on, all your new windows should open up to that size until perform a similar process telling IE that you want all new windows to be the new size. Most likely what occurred is that you manually sized a window to that size, closed it, and IE remembered that as your preferred window size. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The young ensign approached the crusty old chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned officers insignias. "Well, Ensign, it's history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you're valuable BUT malleable. The silver bar of a lieutenant junior grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make lieutenant, you're twice as valuable so we give you two silver bars. "As a captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an admiral, you're obviously a star. That answer your question?" "Yes, Sir. But what about commanders and lieutenant commanders?" "Now that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our unmentionables with leaves. " | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mommy asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com oring Popcorn When stored in a sealed glass jar in a cool cupboard, popcorn can maintain its freshness for months. For longer storage, store popcorn in the freezer, it will last for a year or more. Popcorn should pop within 80 to 90 seconds, if it takes longer, it probably has dried out. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Touched by a wild Mountain Gorilla. |
___________________________________________________ They say that Christopher Columbus was the first American Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant. ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this story: My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. As I fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, I remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," she scolded. "My hair is awful." "It's lovely." "I've never looked worse," I whined. "Yes, you have," she replied. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Kitty for this story: In high school I was always self-conscious about my height. Once, a lifeguard asked me out. I had never stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes, one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's, and run upstairs to let me know which pair of shoes to wear. When I heard the doorbell, I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go bare-foot." ___________________________________________________ | Today March 25 in 0421 The city of Venice was founded. 1306 Robert the Bruce was crowned king of Scotland. 1409 The Council of Pisa opened. 1634 Lord Baltimore founded the Catholic colony of Maryland. 1655 Puritans jailed Governor Stone after a military victory over Catholic forces in the colony of Maryland. 1655 Christian Huygens discovered Titan. Titan is Saturn's largest satellite. 1669 Mount Etna in Sicily erupted destroying Nicolosi. 20,000 people were killed. 1700 England, France and Netherlands ratify the 2nd Extermination Treaty. 1753 Voltaire left the court of Frederik II of Prussia. 1774 English Parliament passed the Boston Port Bill. 1776 The Continental Congress authorized a medal for General George Washington. 1802 France, Netherlands, Spain and England signed the Peace of Amiens. 1807 The first railway passenger service began in England. 1807 British Parliament abolished the slave trade. 1813 The frigate USS Essex flew the first U.S. flag in battle in the Pacific. 1820 Greece freedom revolt against Ottoman 1821 Greece gained independence from Turkey. 1856 A. E. Burnside patented Burnside carbine. 1857 Frederick Laggenheim took the first photo of a solar eclipse. 1865 The SS General Lyon at Cape Hatteras caught fire and sank. 400 people were killed. 1865 During the American Civil War, Confederate forces captured Fort Stedman in Virginia. 1879 Japan invaded the kingdom of Liuqiu (Ryukyu) Islands, formerly a vassal of China. 1895 Italian troops invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia). 1900 The U.S. Socialist Party was formed in Indianapolis. 1901 55 people died when a Rock Island train derailed near Marshalltown, IA. 1901 The Mercedes was introduced by Daimler at the five-day "Week of Nice" in Nice, France. 1902 Irving W. Colburn patented the sheet glass drawing machine. 1902 In Russia, 567 students were found guilty of "political disaffection." 95 students were exiled to Siberia. 1905 Rebel battle flags that were captured during the American Civil War were returned to the South. 1905 Russia received Japan's terms for peace. 1907 Nicaraguan troops took Tegucigalpa, the capital of Honduras. 1909 In Russia, revolutionary Popova was arrested on 300 murder charges. 1911 In New York City, 146 women were killed in fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City. The owners of the company were indicted on manslaughter charges because some of the employees had been behind locked doors in the factory. The owners were later acquitted and in 1914 they were ordered to pay damages to each of the twenty-three families that had sued. 1915 21 people died when a U.S. F-4 submarine sank off the Hawaiian coast. 1919 The Paris Peace Commission adopted a plan to protect nations from the influx of foreign labor. 1923 The British government granted Trans-Jordan autonomy. 1931 Fifty people were killed in riots that broke out in India. Gandhi was one of many people assaulted. 1931 The Scottsboro Boys were arrested in Alabama. 1940 The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access to all American warplanes. 1941 Yugoslavia joined the Axis powers. 1941 The first paprika mill was incorporated in Dollon, SC. 1947 A coalmine explosion in Centralia, IL, killed 111 people. 1947 John D. Rockefeller III presented a check for $8.5 million to the United Nations for the purchase of land for the site of the U.N. center. 1953 The USS Missouri fired on targets at Kojo, North Korea. 1954 RCA manufactured its first color TV set and began mass production. 1957 The European Economic Community was established with the signing of the Treaty of Rome. 1960 A guided missile was launched from a nuclear powered submarine for the first time. 1965 Martin Luther King Jr. led a group of 25,000 to the state capital in Montgomery, AL. 1970 The Concorde made its first supersonic flight. 1972 Bobby Hull joined Gordie Howe to become only the second National Hockey League player to score 600 career goals. 1975 King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot to death by a nephew. The nephew, with a history of mental illness, was beheaded the following June. 1981 The U.S. Embassy in San Salvador was damaged when gunmen attacked using rocket propelled grenades and machine guns. 1982 Wayne Gretzky became the first player in the NHL to score 200 points in a season. 1983 The U.S. Congress passed legislation to rescue the U.S. social security system from bankruptcy. 1985 It was reported that a U.S. Army Major stationed in East Germany had been shot and killed by a Soviet Border Guard. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered emergency aid for the Honduran army. U.S. helicopters took Honduran troops to the Nicaraguan border. 1990 A fire in Happy Land, an illegal New York City social club, killed 87 people. 1990 Estonia voted for independence from the Soviet Union. 1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein launched a major counter- offensive to recapture key towns from Kurds in northern Iraq. 1992 Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth after spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space station. 1993 President de Klerk admitted that South Africa had built six nuclear bombs, but said that they had since been dismantled. 1995 Boxer Mike Tyson was released from jail after serving 3 years. 1996 An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen began at a ranch near Jordan, MT. 1998 A cancer patient was the first known to die under Oregon's doctor-assisted suicide law. 1998 The FCC nets $578.6 million at auction for licenses for new wireless technology. 1998 Quinn Pletcher was found guilty on charges of extortion. He had threatened to kill Bill Gates unless he was paid $5 million. 2004 The U.S. Senate voted (61-38) on the Unborn Victims of Violence Act (H.R. 1997) to make it a separate crime to harm a fetus during the commission of a violent federal crime. 2019 Do smiled. |
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