Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, March 6 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ___________________________________________________ Today, March 6 in  1990 The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the ownership of private property.  ______________________________________________________ It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. --- Randy K. Milholland ______________________________________________________ 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Minnesota man arrested for 28th DWI __________________________________________ A mother and her daughter were shopping in a mall one day when the mother spied an expensive fur coat. She tried it on and stood in front of the mirror admiring the look and stroking the fur. "This year, I think I'll get myself a birthday present," she said. "But mom," her daughter protested, "some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry, honey. Your father won't get the VISA bill for a couple of weeks." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: __________________________________________ A minister had his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made. His usual sermon lasts about half an hour or a little more, but the first Sunday after his dental work he preaches only five minutes. The second Sunday, he is good for 15 minutes. But on the third Sunday he gets going and doesn't stop for an hour and a half. "What's going on, Reverend?" a member of the congregation asked. "The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures as I was heading out the door and I simply could not stop talking." ___________________________________________________ Reported by Mark An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Danny Lee Bettcher, 64, New York Mills, Minnesota

Western Minnesota man arrested for 28th DWI

A 64-year-old western Minnesota man has been caught for the 28th time driving while intoxicated, according to prosecutors, adding to what likely is a record that state authorities have long attributed to him. Danny Lee Bettcher, of New York Mills, was charged in Otter Tail County District Court last week with felony-level drunken driving and refusing to submit to a preliminary breath test. Bettcher, who had a valid yet restricted driver's license at the time of his arrest, remains jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail ahead of a court appearance. Assistant County Attorney Jacob Thomason said Tuesday that if convicted this time around, the maximum sentence is seven years, with the first two-thirds spent in prison and the balance on supervised release. Bettcher would then serve another five years on probation. Bettcher's criminal history already includes spending four years in prison for a prior drunken driving offense, and he's been ordered to treatment at least a dozen times. While appearing in an Otter Tail courtroom in 2010 for his 27th arrest, a record for a Minnesotan at the time, the on- and-off construction worker and handyman said, "I drink to get drunk." Bettcher's 28th arrest came Thursday soon after he left the VFW in New York Mills, where he had been drinking. He's also been caught driving drunk in Nebraska and North Dakota. According to the criminal complaint: An off-duty sheriff's deputy was in the VFW and saw Bettcher drinking. Bettcher's reputation for driving drunk is "well known to the law enforcement community," read the charging document, which listed numerous aliases for the defendant. The deputy alerted authorities that Bettcher was leaving the VFW in a car. Bettcher ignored a stop sign and drove about 10 to 15 miles per hour on Hwy. 10 and was swerving. He made it another 200 yards before police pulled him over. Bettcher's eyes were bloodshot and watery. A beer can was spotted behind the passenger seat. The officer asked for Bettcher's driver's license. He produced a health identification card. The officer located Bettcher's license and noted that it restricted him from drinking and driving. Bettcher refused to conduct a field sobriety test and had to put his hands on the squad car to steady himself. "I am way over," he said. "Take me to jail." State Department of Public Safety spokeswoman Megan Leonard confirmed that Bettcher had a valid driver's license at the time of his arrest, and that it included "a restriction that any use of alcohol or drugs invalidates the license." As of Tuesday, a move to revoke his license is pending.
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: Get rid of Browser cache Dear Webby, a tiny question: How does one clear out the web-browser Cache' and History. I finally figured out how to get my attachments to open!!! I am not sure exactly what I did but it works now. Janice Dear Janice In FireFox: Get rid of browser cache Have FUN! DearWebby

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____________________________________________________ Consider the scoutmaster and his wife driving along a rural highway only to find the road blocked by a herd of cows which had escaped through a broken fence. The scoutmaster tries honking his horn to scare the cattle from the pavement, but to no avail. The horn is dead. He gets out of the car, lifts the hood, and sees the problem -- a loose wire. He hooks it up again and gets back in the car. His wife asks him if he had any luck. "Yep," he replies. "Beep repaired."
Baxter Black's poetry. LOL!
_____________________________________________
 A lawyer tells his client: "I have some good news, and I have some bad news." The client says, "I could use some good news. What is it?" "You ex-wife is not making you pay her on any inheritance you receive." "And the bad news?" "She's marrying your father _____________________________________________ Consider the intern who discovers while working she is almost out of typing paper. Wondering what to do, she turns to her supervisor. "Just use copy machine paper," her boss says. With that, the intern takes her last remaining blank piece of paper, puts it on the photocopier -- then proceeds to make five blank copies. ____________________________________________ Consider the three friends who die in a car crash and are met at the Pearly Gates with the same question: "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'" A ____________________________________________ 
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today March 6 in 1521 Ferdinand Magellan discovered Guam. 1820 The Missouri Compromise was enacted by the U.S. Congress and signed by U.S. President James Monroe. The act admitted Missouri into the Union as a slave state, but prohibited slavery in the rest of the northern Louisiana Purchase territory. 1834 The city of York in Upper Canada was incorporated as Toronto. 1836 The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Anna and his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. 1854 At the Washington Monument, several men stole the Pope's Stone from the lapidarium. 1886 "The Nightingale" was first published. It was the first magazine for nurses. 1899 Aspirin was patented by German researchers Felix Hoffman and Hermann Dreser. 1900 In West Virginia, an explosion trapped 50 coal miners underground. 1901 An assassin tried to kill Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany in Bremen. 1928 A Communist attack on Peking, China resulted in 3,000 dead and 50,000 fled to Swatow. 1939 In Spain, Jose Miaja took over the Madrid government after a military coup and vowed to seek "peace with honor." 1944 During World War II, U.S. heavy bombers began an American raid on Berlin. Allied planes dropped 2000 tons of bombs. 1946 Ho Chi Minh, the President of Vietnam, struck an agreement with France that recognized his country as an autonomous state within the Indochinese Federation and the French Union. 1947 The first air-conditioned naval ship, "The Newport News," was launched from Newport News, VA. 1957 The British African colonies of the Gold Coast and Togoland became the independent state of Ghana. 1960 Switzerland granted women the right to vote in municipal elections. 1960 The United States announced that it would send 3,500 troops to Vietnam. 1967 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announced his plan to establish a draft lottery. 1970 Charles Manson released his album "Lies" to finance his defense against murder charges. 1973 U.S. President Richard Nixon imposed price controls on oil and gas. 1980 Islamic militants in Tehran said that they would turn over American hostages to the Revolutionary Council. 1981 U.S. President Reagan announced a plan to cut 37,000 federal jobs. 1985 Yul Brynner played his his 4,500th performance in the musical "The King and I." 1987 The British ferry Herald of Free Enterprise capsized in the Channel off the coast of Belgium. 189 people died. 1990 In Afghanistan, an attempted coup to remove President Najibullah from office failed. 1990 The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the ownership of private property. 1991 In Paris, five men were jailed for plotting to smuggle Libyan arms to the Irish Republican Army. 1992 The computer virus "Michelangelo" went into effect. 1997 A gunman stole "Tete de Femme," a million-dollar Picasso portrait, from a London gallery. The painting was recovered a week later. 1997 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II launched the first official royal Web site. 1998 A Connecticut state lottery accountant gunned down three supervisors and the lottery chief before killing himself. 2015 The NASA space probe Dawn entred orbit around the protoplanet Ceres in the asteroid belt. 2020 Do smiled. 

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