Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, August 17 I used to like Snopes, and even had a link to Snopes in the side menu, until the Democrat primary, that elected Obama. That was when I announced that Snopes were a bunch of liars, and knocked off the link to them. Now, it seems, they upset the Democrat owned media and the media finally admitted, that I had been right all along. Use Truth or fiction ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Driver arrested for DUI, causing deadly Glendale crash ___________________________________________________ Today, August 17 in 1896 The Klondike gold rush was set off by George Carmack discovering gold in the Yukon. ____________________________________________________ Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. --- Quentin Crisp ____________________________________________________ A minister had his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made. His usual sermon lasts about half an hour or a little more, but the first Sunday after his dental work he preaches only five minutes. The second Sunday, he is good for 15 minutes. But on the third Sunday he gets going and doesn't stop for an hour and a half. "What's going on, Reverend?" a member of the congregation asked. "The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures as I was heading out the door and I simply could not stop talking." ____________________________________________________ Joanna Stahl ____________________________________________________ A lawyer tells his client: "I have some good news, and I have some bad news." The client says, "I could use some good news. What is it?" "You ex-wife is not making you pay her on any inheritance you receive." "And the bad news?" "She's marrying your father ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bushiri Kib-Ukila, Glendale, Arizona, USA Driver arrested for DUI, causing deadly Glendale crash A man is in custody on DUI charges after two women were killed in a crash near 59th Avenue and Camelback earlier this week. Glendale Police are investigating a crash near 59th Avenue and Camelback that left two people dead on Wednesday night. Officers say the accident happened just after 10:30 p.m. on Aug. 11 when a car that was turning left into a private drive was hit by an SUV. Two women riding in the car were killed. They were identified as Sharri Wood, 54, and Sandra Kay Williams, 72. The driver of the SUV, 44-year-old Bushiri Kib-Ukila, is in custody and faces DUI charges. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Janice Re: Get rid of Browser cache Dear Webby, a tiny question: How does one clear out the FireFox web-browser Cache' and History. I finally figured out how to get my attachments to open!!! I am not sure exactly what I did but it works now. Janice Dear Janice Clear all cookies, site data and cache In the Menu bar at the top of the screen, click Firefox and select Preferences. Click the menu button and select OptionsPreferences. Click the menu button. Select the Privacy & Security panel and go to the Cookies and Site Data section. Click the Clear Data button. ... Click Clear. In Chrome On your computer, open Chrome. At the top right, click More . Click More tools. Clear browsing data. At the top, choose a time range. To delete everything, select All time. Next to "Cookies and other site data" and "Cached images and files," check the boxes. Click Clear data Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Consider the intern who discovers while working she is almost out of typing paper. Wondering what to do, she turns to her supervisor. "Just use copy machine paper," her boss says. With that, the intern takes her last remaining blank piece of paper, puts it on the photocopier -- then proceeds to make five blank copies. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Consider the three friends who die in a car crash and are met at the Pearly Gates with the same question: "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the great doctors of my time and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks for a moment, and then replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'" ____________________________________________ Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves.Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another on the way, so call back later." At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch. Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck." ____________________________________________ A Darwin Award goes to Aleobiga Aberima, a Ghanaian man, who rubbed a magic potion over his body for a week, as instructed by the witch doctor he bought it from, and who had also told him the potion would make him invincible to bullets. He was killed when he had someone shoot him as a test. The villagers beat up the witch doctor. His invincibility potion apparently failed too. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 17, in 1790 The capital city of the U.S. moved to Philadelphia from New York City. 1807 Robert Fulton's "North River Steam Boat" (known as the "Clermont") began heading up New York's Hudson River on its successful round-trip to Albany. 1815 Napoleon began serving his exile when he arrived at the island of St. Helena. 1859 A hot air balloon was used to carry mail for the first time. John Wise left Lafayette, IN, for New York City with 100 letters. He had to land after only 27 miles. 1863 Federal batteries and ships bombarded Fort Sumter in Charleston, SC, harbor during the Civil War. 1896 The Klondike gold rush was set off by George Carmack discovering gold on Rabbit Creek in the Yukon. 1903 Joseph Pulitzer donated a million dollars to Columbia University. This started the Pulitzer Prizes in his name. 1915 Charles F. Kettering received a patent for the first electric ignition device. They had been in use for decades, but never patented. 1939 The movie "Wizard of Oz" premiered in New York. It had premiered in Hollywood on August 15. 1943 The Allied conquest of Sicily was completed as U.S. and British forces entered Messina. 1945 The nationalists of Indonesia declared their independence from the Netherlands. 1961 The Communist East German government completed the construction of the Berlin Wall. 1977 Florists Transworld Delivery (FTD) reported that in one day the number of orders for flowers to be delivered to Graceland had surpassed the number for any other event in the company's history. 1978 Maxie Anderson, Ben Abruzzo and Larry Newman became the first to land after a successful trans-Atlantic balloon flight. The voyage began in Presque Isle, ME and ended in Miserey, France. 1982 The U.S. Senate approved an immigration bill that granted permanent resident status to illegal aliens who had arrived in the United States before 1977. 1985 A year-long strike began when 1,400 Geo. A. Hormel and Co. meat packers walked off the job. 1992 Woody Allen admitted to being romantically involved with Soon-Yi Previn. The girl was the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, Allen's longtime companion. 1996 A military cargo plane crashed in Wyoming killing eight crewmembers and a Secret Service employee. The plane was carrying gear for U.S. President Clinton. 1996 Ross Perot was announced to be the Reform Party's presidential candidate. It was the party's first-ever candidate. 1998 U.S. President Clinton admitted to having an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. 1998 NationsBank and BankAmerica merge to create the largest U.S. bank. 1998 Russia devalued the ruble. 2002 In Santa Rosa, CA, the Charles M. Schulz Museum opened to the public. 2017 The first observation of a collision of two neutron stars took place. 2021 Do smiled. |
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