Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, Oct 19 __________________________________________________ Thank you, Rock!!!! Thank you, Donald! ____________________________________________________ >From Gyppo Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976) But you can get it back when you become a grandad ;-) Your role in life is to teach your grandchildren the things parents would love to teach them, but feel they probably shouldn't. My daughter often says, "Ask Grandad." Gyppo ______________________________________________________ History: Today, Oct 19, in 1969, U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." __________________________________________________ Q One man's folly is another man's wife. --- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950) Mustard's no good without roast beef. --- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961) ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ BONEHEAD AWARD 2 arrested after rifle, fentanyl found in Visalia backyard _______________________________________________________ The children and grandchildren of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send Bubbe(grandmother in Jewish) on a cruise. Bubbe boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D." She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.? He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck." She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the steward there and he said, "I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C." Bubbe replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?" The steward said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin." Bubbe, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy and he said, "Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B.".... "B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked Bubbe. The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed." "Oh" she said; "Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful." Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her room with trays of food for her Breakfast In Bed and she said, "F.U.C.K" Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? ...What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", To which the old grandmother replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K.. . Foist U Could Knock!" ________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis. A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!" The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet." _________________________________________________ Cobus Dreyer ___________________________________________________ On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." ___________________________________________________ While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Melinda RE: Caps Lock Dear Webby yeah, I know you told us before how to deal with Caps Lock. But the last time you tod us, I just laughed instead of writing it down. Due to galloping senility, I can't remember. Please tell us again how to deal with that nuisance Caps lock! Thanks Melinda Dear Melinda Take a spoon and pry it off. Then you can toss it wherever you want. I take it and some 5 minute epoxy and glue it onto the coin operated copier at Walmart. Do that once, and you will never forget. Have FUN! DearWebby ________________________________________________ A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ In the backwoods of Georgia, a young redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and their elderly country doctor was called out to assist her in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so's I can see what it is I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there." said the doctor, "Don't be in a rush to put that lantern down... I think there's yet another one coming...." Surely enough, in a few more minutes, the old doctor had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern. It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor in amazement. The bewildered redneck scratched his head and asked the country doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?" ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock Enrique Gomez,31, Angelo Meza, 27, Visalia, California, USA 2 arrested after rifle, fentanyl found in Visalia backyard Two men have been arrested after a rifle and fentanyl was found in a backyard Sunday afternoon in Visalia. According to the Visalia Police Department, officers were called out to the 700 block of Church Street around 1:00 p.m. for reports of a man with a gun. When officers arrived, they investigated and found a rifle with a modified stock, 170 grams of fentanyl, and a large amount of cash in the backyard of a home. After further investigations, officers arrested 27-year-old Angelo Meza and 31-year-old Enrique Gomez for conspiracy of narcotics sales and possession of an illegal firearm.Two men have been arrested after a rifle and fentanyl was found in a backyard Sunday afternoon in Visalia. According to the Visalia Police Department, officers were called out to the 700 block of Church Street around 1:00 p.m. for reports of a man with a gun. When officers arrived, they investigated and found a rifle with a modified stock, 170 grams of fentanyl, and a large amount of cash in the backyard of a home. [RELATED] Woman shot in the eye with rubber bullet following argument at Starbucks After further investigations, officers arrested 27-year-old Angelo Meza and 31-year-old Enrique Gomez for conspiracy of narcotics sales and possession of an illegal firearm. ____________________________________________ A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right. He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!!" _________________________________________________ History On Oct 19, in 1765, In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a declaration of rights and liberties. 1781, British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It was to be the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War. 1812, Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating Russian army. 1814, In Baltimore, MD, the first documented performance of "The Defence of Fort McHenry" with music took place at the Holliday Street Theatre. The work was later published under the title "The Star-Spangled Banner." 1914, In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used to pick up mail in Washington, DC. 1915, The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts of Mexico except where Carranza was in control. 1933, Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by the Berlin Organization Committee. 1937, "Woman's Day" was published for the first time. 1943, The Moscow Conference of Foreign Ministers began in Russia during World War II. Delegates from the U.S.S.R., Great Britain, the U.S., and China met to discuss war aims and cooperation between the nations. 1944, The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES). 1950, The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital of Pyongyang. 1951, U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending the state of war with Germany. 1959, Patty Duke, at the age of 12, made her Broadway debut in "The Miracle Worker." The play lasted for 700 performances. 1960, The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain food products. 1969, U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 1977, The Concorde made its first landing in New York City. 1983, The U.S. Senate approved a bill establishing a national holiday in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. 1984, Four U.S. employees of the CIA were killed in El Salvador when their plane crashed. 1989, The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment that barred the desecration of the American flag. 1993, Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan. 1998, In Washington, DC, Microsoft went on trial to defend against an antitrust case. 1998, Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing license back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's ear during a fight. 2003, In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks of the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. Blaine had entered the box on September 5. 2009, The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was released. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby
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