Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, October 3 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Man arrested for human trafficking when teen escapes to restaurant  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3 in 1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S. Thurman. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had. --- I. F. Stone (1907 - 1989) What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. --- Oscar Levant If marriage were outlawed, then only outlaws would have inlaws. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ >From Ben Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee. I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running but had locked it! The day was going from bad to worse. I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom. I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..." "I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom." "No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" My mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" My brother asked. "There!" My mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an- nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Katherine Nieves-Tavarez, 27, Vero Beach Florida  Fla woman arrested for slashing boyfriend when he refused to have sex with her  After her boyfriend repeatedly declined to have sex with her, a Florida woman grabbed a kitchen knife and slashed him multiple times in the face, according to police who arrested the alleged attacker on a felony battery charge. In response to a 911 call about a disturbance at a Vero Beach apartment, cops arrived at the residence around 3:30 AM Thursday and encountered Katherine Nieves-Tavarez at the front door. Nieves-Tavarez, 27, had blood on her clothing and hands, an arrest affidavit notes. Inside the apartment, cops reported, Nieves-Tavarez's boyfriend was spotted falling to the floor with blood covering his face. Asked what happened to him, the man replied, She hit me with a knife. I can't see. The victim went on to tell officers that Nieves-Tavarez, his live-in girlfriend, had been drinking and "asked to have sex, which he declined." The man added that after declining multiple times, Nieves-Tavarez became angry and started yelling at him. Nieves-Tavarez then allegedly retrieved a large, silver kitchen knife and followed the man outside to the patio. There, Nieves- Tavarez allegedly slashed the victim with the knife. When police questioned the man, he had multiple lacerations to his face, a torn shirt, and redness around his neck and chest area. The victim was subsequently transported to a hospital for treatment of his injuries. Seen above, Nieves-Tavarez was arrested and booked into the county jail on a felony charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. She is being held in lieu of $15,000 bond and is scheduled for arraignment on October 31. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with the victim. Nieves-Tavarez was arrested in April 2017 on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge, but that case--which involved the same man--was eventually dismissed by prosecutors. 
 From Frank Re: Stop Roboform  Dear Webby, Like you, I suffered a total RoboForm failure. I expected them to remember the Master Password. They didn't. They failed and took over 1000 passwords with them. Same as with you many of those passwords are ancient and no longer needed, but they destroyed all the new ones too. What a piece of @#$%^&*! And they are still sniveling about updating! Not bloody likely, Incompetent A**ho**s! How do I completely get rid of the useless piece of crap? Frank  Dear Frank You are about as diplomatic as I was when they destroyed all of my passwords. Contact their support and tell them to cancel all of your accounts. Also check your auto-pay entries iun your PayPal. Then use REVO Uninstaller to get their crap off your machine. If you don't have it yet, it is at Revo Uninstaller Try the PRO Free Trial. It is not a 2 second fix, but it scans your entire machine and removes any trace of the crap. That takes a few minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you." The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down. For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything. Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma' am, may I ask you two questions?" With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!" The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. "Marcia, I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?" Marcia grabbed at Jimmie's hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!" She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, "You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?" Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?" 
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 Thanks to Connie for this story: My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though. "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us." They shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again. Still no response. When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: Ninja! A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Yes, they do, brave oyster wrestler!"  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
Photos of wearable art competition. (Well, it's almost Halloween...) 
 ___________________________________________________ GROAN ALERT One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all. . . . hawk, lion, and stinker. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 >From Michael DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire, or farts. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or longer) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * Everybody steals everybody elses pot-it-notes, to take home. * The bolted on fingerprint activated gun safe on your desk is for pens qand post-it-notes. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * Whenever you go get some water or coffee, your waste basket mysteriously fills up in your absence. * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. ____________________________________________________  
 Today, October 3 in 1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S. Thurman. 1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company became RCA- Victor. 1906 W.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store. 1922 Rebecca L. Felton became the first female to hold office of U.S. Senator. She was appointed by Governor Thomas W. Hardwick of Georgia to fill a vacancy. 1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" and they "would never rise again." 1942 The Office of Economic Stabilization was established by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He also authorized controls on rents, wages, salaries and farm prices. 1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the Siegfried Line. 1951 CBS-TV aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a prizefight. Dave Sands defeated Carl Olson at Soldier Field in Chicago. 1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. The U.S. and Russia were the only other nuclear powers. 1955 "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 1962 The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a nine- hour flight. 1981 Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 7 months and ten people had died. 1988 The space shuttle Discovery landed safely after its four-day mission. It was the first American shuttle mission since the Challenger disaster. 1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. 1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was raided by U.S. soldiers. 2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked by tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old male named Montecore, was debuting in his first show. 2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that it viewed as a deterrent against a U.S. attack. A date for the test was not announced. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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