Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, May 2 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Driver arrested for fatal wrong-way crash in Chandler had BAC 3.4 times legal limit ___________________________________________________ Today, May 1 in 1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television pictures across the Atlantic. ____________________________________________________ The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction. --- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) ------------- Racists believe their excuses are a religion, and that looting and arson are their holy sacraments. ____________________________________________________ "Mummy, tomorrow I have an oral exam. One question the teacher will ask me is "who made you?" What shall I say?" asked Little Johnny. "Say God made you." replied his mother. The next day, when the question came up, poor Little Johnny forgot what his mother had said, so he explained, "Teacher, until yesterday I was sure it was my father who made me. But then my mother said it was someone else - but I can't remember who it was." ____________________________________________________ If you think your problems are behind you, chances are you make your kids stay on the back seat when you drive. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small "hick town." So, he got into his very expensive new luxury car and off he went. After driving for a while, he found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he asked. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill for a short time, then smiled and said to the man, "Ah reckon so, Mister. Ya want 2 nines or 3 sixes?" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hannah Dike, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Driver arrested for fatal wrong-way crash in Chandler had BAC 3.4 times legal limit A driver who allegedly caused a deadly wrong-way crash on Interstate 10 in Chandler two months ago has been arrested, according to authorities. Arizona Department of Public Safety officials said 25-year-old Hannah Dike of Phoenix "was released from a medical rehabilitation facility and booked into the Maricopa County Jail on one count of reckless manslaughter." Dike had to be pulled from her vehicle and DPS troopers reported smelling alcohol on her breath and requested the blood test from the hospital. According to court paperwork, Dikes blood-alcohol level was .275%, which is 3.4 times the legal limit for drivers in Arizona. DPS officials said Dike was injured in the Feb. 10 crash and was in a medical rehabilitation facility for weeks. According to the Arizona Department of Public Safety, the crash happened just after midnight when a vehicle that was traveling eastbound in the westbound lanes crashed head-on into another vehicle near Chandler Boulevard. They said 31-year-old Bobby Kramer was in the car that was struck on the freeway and he died at the scene. Kramer was a Navy veteran who worked as the food and beverage director at two restaurants in downtown Chandler. DearWebby's Tech Support Pitssssssssssssssssss Dear Michelle GIF is the oldest format. It goes back to when monitors were 400 x 300 pixels and just light green on dark green. But we had pictures! Soon afterward we got very basic color and 800 x 600 pictures, that had to be sent on TWO 5 1/4" floppy disks. Naturally, pictures from that vintage are rather coarse when viewd today. One advantage of GIF pictures is that you can make animated pictures. Most of those are quite simple, but now there are programs to convert videos to GIF. JPG came next. The early advantage was that you could compress them to reduce file size. You can still do it, but keep in mind, JPG compression is a one way street. It throws away pixels, that you can never get back. with JPG pictures you can select pixels per inch, just like with a camera. For the web you usually use 72/inch, but if you plan to do a bunch od editing, then you might choose 1440/inch. Lastly, PNG is Portable Network Graphics. It is similar to JPG, but you can compress without losing pixels and can uncompress later. Naturally, file size is not very compact. Picture quality is excellent, and most browsers can handle it now. For best portability to ALL browsers, use JPG. Have FUN! DearWebby "I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed." The husband rolled over on the couch. "You *should* be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ "Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," said to his Uncle Rodney, the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got." "That's great," said his Uncle Rodney. "Do you know how to play it?" "Oh, I don't play it," Do said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night. ____________________________________________ The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13." ____________________________________________ Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Southern town: "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, May 2 in 1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's King Charles II. 1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American rebels fighting the British. 1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead to the rest of the fleet. 1798 The black General Toussaint Louverture forced British troops to agree to evacuate the port of Santo Domingo. 1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon. 1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at Grossgorschen. 1853 Franconis Hippodrome opened at Broadway and 23rd Street in New York City. 1863 Confederate Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson was wounded by his own men in the battle of Chancellorsville, VA. He died 8 days later. 1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward for the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1885 The Congo Free State was established by King Leopold II of Belgium. 1885 The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published. 1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid photographic film. This is the film from which movies are shown. 1890 The Oklahoma Territory was organized. 1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film was released. It was created by magician George Melies. 1926 In India, Hindu women gained the right to seek elected office. 1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until 1933. 1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany. 1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq and that countrys pro-German faction. 1941 The Federal Communications Commission agreed to let regular scheduling of TV broadcasts by commercial TV stations begin on July 1, 1941. This was the start of network television. 1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce house-to- house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria. 1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison. 1960 Caryl Chessman was executed. He was a convicted sex offender and had become a best selling author while on death row. 1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television pictures across the Atlantic. 1969 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) made its maiden voyage. 1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State University burn down the campus ROTC building. The National Guard took control of the campus. 1974 Former U.S. Vice President Spiro T. Agnew was disbarred by the Maryland Court of Appeals. 1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA. 1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only cruiser, the General Belgrano with a torpedo at close range during the Falkland Islands War. More than 350 people died. 1993 At Washington's National Gallery of Art, an exhibit of 80 paintings from the collection of Dr. Albert C. Barnes opened. 1993 Authorities said that they had recovered the remains of David Koresh from the Branch Davidian compound near Waco, TX. 1994 Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's first democratic elections. 1999 In Panama, Mireya Moscoso de Grubar, of the Armulfista Party, was elected president. 2021 Do smiled. |
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