Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 25 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 25, in 1876, Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 56K fentanyl pills found hidden inside fire extinguishers in Arizona; suspect jailed. __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Prescott, Arizona, USA 56K fentanyl pills found hidden inside fire extinguishers in Arizona; suspect jailed. A driver was arrested after authorities say they found thousands of fentanyl pills hidden inside fire extinguishers during a traffic stop for erratic driving in Prescott. ___________________________________________________ Those of you who have ever heard native Texas girls speak know they're really slow talkers. Usually that's not a problem. Unless, of course, they're trying to convince some guy they're "not that kind of girl." See, by the time they're halfway finished -- they are. ___________________________________________________ Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. --- Joe Theismann, Former quarterback Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. --- Aaron McGruder ___________________________________________________ A guy came home to his wife and said "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," his wife said. "Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________ A doctor in New York recently made a serious incorrect diagnosis. He treated a patient for a cold before learning the guy could afford pneumonia. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ Coming out of church, Mrs. Peterson asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't even see her," admitted Mr. Peterson. "And that dress Mrs. Hansen was wearing," continued Mrs. Peterson, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper costume for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Peterson. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Peterson. "A lot of good it does you to go to church." ____________________________________________________ Kawaguchiko Lake and Mt Fuji in Japan ___________________________________________________ A doctor told Mrs. Darcy to give her husband one pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his stamina. A month later, when Mrs. Darcy came in for another visit, the doctor asked, "How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?" Mrs. Davis answered, "Well, he's a little behind with the pills, but he's about six months ahead with the whiskey." ____________________________________________________ Sam Gold made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Sam replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like." ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: Give RemoveIt access? Dear Webby! On the shouldiremoveit website, do I need to permit it access? Like when other websites send an update. If so I will need the code to permit it. (It took a while to figure out I had to go into the gizzards of the beast to allow access for some updates.) Also is it automatic or do I have to run it occasionally? If so I will need to know that access code too. Janice Dear Janice Yes, you have to allow it to make changes to your system. That is what you want it to do. Get rid of no longer needed stuff. It not only deletes files, but takes the program location out of the Registry. The registry is protected against accidental editing or deleting, so it asks you if you want to allow changes. Don't worry about it. "Should I Remove It" is a clean and respectable program, used by Millions of people, and I have never seen anything bad about them. After it removes whatever you tell it to remove, it shuts itself down and goes away. If you re-install a program, that you had told it to remove, it ignores that and assumes you just wanted to flush an old or corrupt version and now are installing a new or better version. It won't block you from doing that. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ >From Michael I was sitting outside one cloudy day, reminiscing on all the bad luck I was having. Everything was going wrong. Feeling bad, I looked up to the heavens with outstretched arms and said "Why me, Lord, Why me." All of a sudden there was a clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning, and as the clouds parted, a booming voice came down from the sky, and said "Because, Michael, there's something about whiners that just ticks me off." ______________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ >From Richard I interviewed for a job in another department yesterday. The department head asked me some standard questions then said, "In this job we need someone who is responsible." I replied without thinking, "I'm the one you want. At my current job, every time anything goes wrong, they always say I'm responsible!" Hmmmm, I don't think I'll be getting that position. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ "You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year-old man after the examination. "I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint: My sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?" The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?" he gasped. "My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can." "Lower it!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year-old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?" "These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can." __________________________________________ An old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you." He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for dinner, honey?" Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question. Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?" She turned around and screamed in his face, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old fart!" _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 25, in 0841, Charles the Bald and Louis the German defeated Lothar at Fontenay. 1080, At Brixen, a council of bishops declared Pope Gregory to be deposed and Archbishop Guibert as antipope Clement III. 1580, The Book of Concord was first published. The book is a collection of doctrinal standards of the Lutheran Church. 1658, Aurangzeb proclaimed himself emperor of the Moghuls in India. 1767, Mexican Indians rioted as Jesuit priests were ordered home. 1788, Virginia ratified the U.S. Constitution and became the 10th state of the United States. 1864, Union troops surrounding Petersburg, VA, began building a mine tunnel underneath the Confederate lines. 1867, Lucien B. Smith patented the first barbed wire. 1868, The U.S. Congress enacted legislation granting an eight-hour day to workers employed by the Federal government. 1868, Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, North Carolina and South Carolina were readmitted to the Union. 1870, In Spain, Queen Isabella abdicated in favor of Alfonso XII. 1876, Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." 1876, In Philadelphia, PA, Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Sir William Thomson (Baron Kelvin) and Emperor Pedro II of Brazil at the Centennial Exhibition. 1906, Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Kendall Thaw, the son of coal and railroad baron William Thaw, shot and killed Stanford White. White, a prominent architect, had a tryst with Florence Evelyn Nesbit before she married Thaw. The shooting took place at the premeire of Mamzelle Champagne in New York. 1910, The U.S. Congress authorized the use of postal savings stamps. 1917, The first American fighting troops landed in France. 1920, The Greeks took 8,000 Turkish prisoners in Smyrna. 1921, Samuel Gompers was elected head of the AFL for the 40th time. 1938, Gaelic scholar Douglas Hyde was inaugurated as the first president of the Irish Republic. 1941, Finland declared war on the Soviet Unionafter asking Germany for help. They used the Germans until 3 months before the end of WWII. 1946, Ho Chi Minh traveled to France for talks on Vietnamese independence. 1948, The Soviet Union tightened its blockade of Berlin by intercepting river barges heading for the city. 1950, North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. 1951, In New York, the first regular commercial color TV transmissions were presented on CBS using the FCC-approved CBS Color System. The public did not own color TV's at the time. 1959, The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres under a new agrarian reform law. 1959, Eamon De Valera became president of Ireland at the age of 76. 1962, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of unofficial non-denominational prayer in public schools was unconstitutional. 1964, U.S. President Lyndon Johnson ordered 200 naval personnel to Mississippi to assist in finding three missing civil rights workers. 1970, The U.S. Federal Communications Commission handed down a ruling (35 FR 7732), making it illegal for radio stations to put telephone calls on the air without the permission of the person being called. 1973, Erskine Childers Jr. became president of Ireland after the retirement of Eamon De Valera. 1973, White House Counsel John Dean admitted that U.S. President Nixon took part in the Watergate cover-up. 1975, Mozambique became independent. Samora Machel was sworn in as president after 477 years of Portuguese rule. 1981, The U.S. Supreme Court decided that male-only draft registration was constitutional. 1986, The U.S. Congress approved $100 million in aid to the Contras fighting in Nicaragua. 1987, Austrian President Kurt Waldheim visited Pope John Paul II at the Vatican. The meeting was controversial due to allegations that Waldheim had hidden his Nazi past. 1990, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of an individual, whose wishes are clearly made, to refuse life- sustaining medical treatment. "The right to die" decision was made in the Curzan vs. Missouri case. 1991, The last Soviet troops left Czechoslovakia 23 years after the Warsaw Pact invasion. 1991, The Yugoslav republics of Slovenia and Croatia declared their independence from Yugoslavia. 1993, Kim Campbell took office as Canada's first woman prime minister. She assumed power upon the resignation of Brian Mulroney. 1997, The Russian space station Mir was hit by an unmanned cargo vessel. Much of the power supply was knocked out and the station's Spektr module was severely damaged. 1997, U.S. air pollution standards were significantly tightened by U.S. President Clinton. 1998, The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the line-item veto thereby striking down presidential power to cancel specific items in tax and spending legislation. 1998, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those infected with HIV are protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act. 1998, Microsoft's "Windows 98" was released to the public. 1999, Germany's parliament approved a national Holocaust memorial to be built in Berlin. 2000, U.S. and British researchers announced that they had completed a rough draft of a map of the genetic makeup of human beings. The project was 10 years old at the time of the announcement. 2000, A Florida judge approved a class-action lawsuit to be filed against America Online (AOL) on behalf of hourly subscribers who were forced to view "pop-up" advertisements. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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