Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 12 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 11, in 1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in the U.S. to post metric distance signs. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Fresno Detectives Arrest Serial Rapist ___________________________________________________ The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. --- Terry Pratchett Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take. --- Lothar Kaul If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if YOU can use either one, it's a miracle. --- Jack Adams ___________________________________________________ GiveSendGo@GiveSendGo Know this! Canada has absolutely ZERO jurisdiction over how we manage our funds here at GiveSendGo. All funds for EVERY campaign on GiveSendGo flow directly to the recipients of those campaigns, not least of which is The Freedom Convoy campaign. ___________________________________________________ >From Rosie Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" ____________________________________________________ Bill P, currently in OZ Flowering gumtree . Loaded with bees ____________________________________________________ They were burying Irish Pat today and the priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of us MUST get up and say something nice about the man.It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His wife was worse!". ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Guadalupe Gonzalez, 36, San Joaquin, California, USA Fresno Detectives Arrest Serial Rapist Detectives with the Fresno County Sheriffs Sex Crimes Unit have arrested 36 year old Guadalupe Gonzalez of San Joaquin. He has been booked into the Fresno County Jail on charges of forceable rape, oral copulation and sodomy. He is not eligible for bail at this time. On the morning of October 26th, a local hospital made a report to the Fresno County Sheriffs Office that they were in contact with a woman who said a man had raped her. Deputies contacted the victim and collected information about the attack. The victim explained that she had met this man, later identified as Guadalupe Gonzalez, online with the intention of going on a date. However, this date would quickly escalate and turn violent. The woman met Gonzalez at apartment in the city of San Joaquin. During their time together, Gonzalez took the womans cell phone from her, held a handgun to her, then forcibly raped her. Gonzalez later ordered her into his vehicle and he drove her to a rural area of Fresno County. Once parked, he forcibly raped the woman again. Afterwards, Gonzalez threw the womans phone into an orchard and ordered her out of his tan colored, two-door Chevy Tahoe. Once Gonzalez drove away, the victim called a friend to get a ride home. She later decided to go to the hospital. Once the hospital contacted the Sheriffs Office, detectives with the Sex Crimes Unit got involved in the case. Working with patrol deputies who had spoken with the victim, detectives gathered valuable evidence to help identify the suspect. This information would lead detectives to locating a tan, two-door Chevy Tahoe and eventually Guadalupe Gonzalez. Detectives arrested Gonzalez, interviewed him and booked him into jail. As detectives familiarized themselves with Gonzalez, they recognized he could be the same person responsible for two other unsolved rape cases that occurred in 2017 and 2019. Through their research, detectives confirmed Gonzalez did in fact commit those rapes and are concerned he could be responsible for other rapes that were never reported. Detectives are now asking the public to notify them if they were ever contacted by or assaulted by Gonzalez. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Jennie Re: Filezilla for Linux Dear Webby Filezilla sounds good. Will it work when the server is Linux? I asked my teacher, but she said I was an idiot and walked away. She is a Dim and always does that, when she does not know the answer. Jennie Dear Jennie Yes, Filezilla indeed works with Linux, Unix, and even the rare Windows server. It was actually written for Linux originally. Have FUN! DearWebby >from Bob Shortly after I got married, I was invited out for a "night out with the boys." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... I Promise! Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy, and at around 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I went home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having the presence of mind, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. Next morning the wife asked me what time I got in. I told her 12 o'clock. Whew! Got away with that one! Then she told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she said, "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, knocked over the coffee table, cuckooed another 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, dropped the car keys, farted, then cuckooed twice more and started giggling." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce. ______________________________________________ In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she even knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, pi.. ahem sir, and count them yourself!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 12, in 1541 The city of Santiago, Chile was founded. 1554 Lady Jane Grey was beheaded after being charged with treason. She had claimed the throne of England for only nine days. 1733 Savannah, GA, was founded by English colonist James Oglethorpe. 1870 In the Utah Territory, women gained the right to vote. 1878 Frederick W. Thayer patented the baseball catcher's mask. 1879 The first artificial ice rink opened in North America. It was at Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY. 1892 In the U.S., President Lincoln's birthday was declared to be a national holiday. 1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooner resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident occurred off New England's Block Island. 1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded. 1912 China's boy emperor Hsuan T'ung announced that he was abdicating, ending the Manchu Ch'ing dynasty. Subsequently, the Republic of China was established. 1915 The cornerstone of the Lincoln Memorial was laid in Washington, DC. 1918 All theatres in New York City were shut down in an effort to conserve coal. 1924 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge made the first presidential political speech on radio. 1924 "The Eveready Hour" became radio's first sponsored network program. The National Carbon Company was the first sponsor of a network show. 1934 The Export-Import Bank was incorporated. 1940 Mutual Radio presented the first broadcast of the radio play "The Adventures of Superman." 1968 "Soul on Ice" by Eldridge Cleaver was published for the first time. 1971 James Cash (J.C.) Penney died at the age of 95. The company closed for business for one-half day as a memorial to the company's founder. 1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in the U.S. to post metric distance signs. 1973 American prisoners of war were released for the first time during the Vietnam conflict. 1993 In Liverpool, England, a 2-year-old boy, James Bulger, was lured away from his mother at a shopping mall and beaten to death. Two ten-year-old boys were responsible. 1998 A U.S. federal judge declared that the presidential line-item veto was unconstitutional. 1999 U.S. President Clinton was acquitted by the U.S. Senate on two impeachment articles. The charges were perjury and obstruction of justice. 2001 The space probe NEAR landed on the asteroid Eros. It was the first time that any craft had landed on a small space rock. 2002 Kenneth Lay, former Enron CEO, exercised his constitutional rights and refused to testify to the U.S. Congress about the collapse of Enron. 2002 The trial of former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic began at the U.N. tribunal in The Hague. Milosevic was accused of war crimes during the Balkan wars of the 1990s. 2002 Pakistan charged three men in connection with the kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in Karachi. 2002 Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Franco Knie won a defamation-of-character lawsuit against the Swiss magazine "Facts." The case involved a photomontage created by the magazine. 2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation of international treaties. The complaint was sent to the Security Council. 2004 Mattel announced that "Barbie" and "Ken" were breaking up. The dolls had met on the set of their first television commercial together in 1961. 2013 North Korea conducted its third underground nuclear test. 2021 Do smiled. |
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