Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 18 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 18, in 1685, Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the basis for France's claim to Texas. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Missouri mom decapitates 6-year-old son and dog ___________________________________________________ Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. --- Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895) It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Andrew W. Mathis It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. --- Woody Allen ___________________________________________________ Lissa went to see a psychiatrist about her husband (he wouldn't go with her). "Doctor, my husband, Kurt, has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!" "My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..." Lissa leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Kurt sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!" ___________________________________________________ A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any papers!" ____________________________________________________ Darryl Machum ____________________________________________________ A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, "Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a drummer when I grow up!" The mother sweetly replies, "You can't do BOTH." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tasha Haefs Kansas City, Missouri, USA Missouri mom decapitates 6-year-old son and dog A Kansas City, Missouri, mom decapitated her six-year-old son and a dog, according to police. "The community now knows some of the terrible details of the death of this 6-year-old child," Jackson County Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker said in a statement. "It takes our breath away." Tasha Haefs allegedly called 911 on Tuesday night telling authorities that she believed the devil was trying to attack her, KCTV reported. She denied having a mental illness before hanging up the phone. Officers arrived at her home and found blood on the front steps and could hear a woman singing. The woman allegedly sang louder as they knocked on the door. One officer saw what appeared to be a severed head inside the residence. Authorities went through the backdoor and found Haefs with blood on her legs and feet. They found the body of the decapitated 6-year-old boy near the kitchen. They also found a decapitated dog in the basement and two knives. "Its difficult to imagine the grief for this boys family. For the childs classmates. His friends. Neighbors. The first responders who went to this crime scene," Baker added in her statement. They found the body of the decapitated 6-year-old boy near the kitchen. They also found a decapitated dog in the basement and two knives. "Its difficult to imagine the grief for this boys family. For the childs classmates. His friends. Neighbors. The first responders who went to this crime scene," Baker added in her statement. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Janet Re: Gmail Cleanup Dear Webby At home I got the MailWasher that you talked me into decades ago. At work, I don't. They say then everybody will demand it and since I am paid by the hour, I should not worry about it. Buncha Bozos! Well, since they do pay me by the hour, and don't whine about how long it takes, I guess I should just shut up. However, I do get pissed off about the waste of time coping with all the spam! What can I do? Janet Dear Janet I know how you feel about the Bozos, that are sabotaging the company. You CAN make filters in Gmail. It is not as slick as MailWasher, but you CAN make filters. Keep in mind, At Gmail the top priority is NOT making Gmail efficient, but to goad you into buying extra space. So, when you see some spam that you have seen before, copy the address or name or keyword, paste it into the Search line on top. In the second line, in a color that is hard to see, are ADVANCED SEARCH. They treat that like Trump's Border Wall, and make it difficult to block the illegals. Step through that, a couple or 3 screens, and specify what you want Gmail to do with it. It won't let you "Delete Forever", but at least you can trash it. Then once a week, dump the trash. Have FUN! DearWebby Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "A jack." ______________________________________________ A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on welfare fraud issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in their community. ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 18, in 1564, The artist Michelanglelo died in Rome. 1685, Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the basis for France's claim to Texas. 1841, The first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate began. It lasted until March 11th. 1861, In Montgomery, AL, Jefferson Davis was inaugurated as the President of the Confederate States. 1885, Mark Twain's "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was published in the U.S. for the first time. 1913, The famous French painting "Nude Descending a Staircase", by the French artist, Marcel Duchamp, was displayed at an "Armory Show" in New York City. 1930, Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly in an airplane. 1930, The planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh. The discovery was made as a result of photographs taken in January 1930. 1932, Sonja Henie won her 6th world womens figure skating title in Montreal, Canada. 1952, Greece and Turkey became members of NATO. 1953, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz signed a contract worth $8,000,000 to continue the "I Love Lucy" TV show through 1955. 1970, The Chicago Seven defendants were found innocent of conspiring to incite riots at the 1968 Democratic national convention. 1972, The California Supreme Court struck down the state's death penalty. 1977, The space shuttle Enterprise went on its maiden "flight" sitting on top of a Boeing 747. 1984, Reed Larson (Detroit Red Wings) got two assists to become the highest scoring, American-born player in the history of the National Hockey League. Larson broke the record by scoring his 432nd point. 1987, The executives of the Girl Scout movement decided to change the color of the scout uniform from the traditional Girl Scout green to the newer Girl Scout blue. 1998, In Russia, money shortages resulted in the shutting down of three plants that produced nuclear weapons. 1998, In Nevada, two white separatists were arrested and accused of plotting a bacterial attack on subways in New York City. 2000, The U.S. Commerce Department reported a deficit in trade goods and services of $271.3 billion for 1999. It was the largest calender-year trade gap in U.S. history. 2001, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed in a crash during the Daytona 500 race. 2001, FBI agent Robert Philip Hanssen was arrested and accused of spying for Russia for more than 15 years. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to life in prison without parole. 2003, In South Korea, at least 120 people were killed when a man lit a fire on a subway train. 2006, American Shani Davis won the men's 1,000-meter speedskating in Turin. He was the first black athlete to win an individual gold medal in Winter Olympic history. 2021 Do smiled. |
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