Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 20 ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, October 20, in 2009, European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets. ____________________________________________________ In CA 4 x kidnapping & murder suspect arrested. He had previously worked for family. Baby was left to die of exposure.  ____________________________________________________ There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson A true friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until lost." --- Chinese Proverb Count your age with friends but not with years. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ >From Chuck Hi Webby, Like that other guy that said he wondered why you didn't respond to him. Same here. You have always jumped on your replies. How ya doin? I'm still hanging in there after 73 years. Chuck Hi Chuck Yes, answering subscribers is always a top priority for me. I have to admit, though, accidents can happen, and sometimes Gmail mislabels legitimate mail as spam. Writing again, maybe with a different subject line, should get you through. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Jesus Manuel Salgado, Merced County, California, USA In CA 4 x kidnapping & murder suspect arrested. He had previously worked for family. Baby was left to die of exposure.  This evening, Jesus Manuel Salgado, the suspect in the kidnapping and murder of Aroohi Dheri, Jasleen Kaur, Jasdeep Singh, and Amandeep Singh, was booked into the Merced County Jail. He was arrested for four counts of murder and four counts of kidnapping. Our Detectives, alongside investigators from assisting agencies, will continue to follow up on any leads of additional people who may have been involved in this horrific incident. All four bodies of the family members who were kidnapped from a business in Central California's Merced County earlier this week have been found. Merced County Sheriff Vern Warnke says the bodies of 36- year-old Jasdeep Singh, 27-year-old Jasleen Kaur, their eight-month-old child Aroohi Dheri and the baby's uncle, 39- year-old Amandeep Singh were found Wednesday evening in an orchard near Indiana and Hutchins Roads. A family spokesperson tells Action News the primary suspect in the kidnapping and murder, Jesus Manuel Salgado, is a former employee who used to drive for the victims' trucking company. They had a disagreement and parted ways. The spokesperson also revealed the baby Aroohi Dheri was left for dead and died from exposure. Action News also learned that Amandeep Singh is survived by his wife and two kids, who are in their teens. Salgado was taken into custody Tuesday afternoon and transported to the hospital in critical condition after he tried to kill himself. He was booked into the Merced County Jail Thursday night and is facing four counts of murder and four counts of kidnapping. _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ The kids in the neighborhood held an election. The grownups were astonished that a four-year-old had been elected president. "That girl must be a born leader," one Dad observed. "How does it happen that all you bigger boys voted for her?" "Well, you see Dad," one lad replied. "She can not very well be secretary because she does not know how to write. She would not do for treasurer because she is not able to count. She would never do for sergeant- at-arms because she is too little to throw anybody out. If we did not choose hrt for anything, she would feel bad and sulk. So we made her president." Broom Hilda was counting on that. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   _________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! __________________________________________________ A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?" ____________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Sue Ann were married for 13 years Sue Ann says to Billy Bob, I'm tired of being at home everyday and nite!! Mary Jo and I are going out with some strange men tonite" Billy Bob says and who are these strange men !! Sue Ann says, JACK DANIEL'S, JIM BEAM and JOHNNY WALKER Billy Bob ask, well well well whos going to cook tonite???? Sue Ann says, I suggest you invite some women over and have a wild party. Billy Bob says , what, what do you mean " wild party and women? Sue Ann says, yea" BETTY CROCKER, and MISS FILBERTS and I hear SARAH LEE has some nice buns ____________________________________________________ A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." ____________________________________________________   Sylvie Delacuvellerie ___________________________________________________ There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!" He is back in Government now. __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:God Re: A Conversation Between Moses and God Dear Webby "Excuse me, sir." "Is that you again, Moses?" "I'm afraid it is, sir." "What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?" "How did you guess?" "I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?" "Oh, yeah. I forgot." "Tell me what you want, Moses." "But you already know. Remember?" "Moses!" "Sorry, sir." "Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!" "Well, I have a question, sir. You know those ten things you sent me." "You mean the commandments, Moses?" "That's it. I was wondering if they were important." "What do you mean 'were important, Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you." "Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that." "What do you mean 'you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?" "No, sir. I forgot." "Well, My Son always saves, Moses." "Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though. " "And did you hear back from any of them?" "You already know I did." "What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'. Can he change the words a little bit?" "Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning." "And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?" "Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that." "I think that means, 'no'. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?" "I think that is spamming, Moses." "Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer." "And what he did say?" "You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do you?" "They're called viruses, Moses." "Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them." "We'll do it the new way, Moses." "I was afraid you would say that, sir." "Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?" "You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer." "It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?" "No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?" "No, Moses." "One other thing. Why didn't you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?" "I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to." "Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?" "Say good night, Moses." "Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back." "Which ones are they, Moses?" "Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.' "Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets. How does 'Same Day Air' sound?" God  Dear Do Watch out for those stone tablets! Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name "Marylou" written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on." The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him with the rolling pin. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night." _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, october 20, in 1740, Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI. 1774, The new Continental Congress, the governing body of Americas colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions and entertainment." 1803, The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 1818, The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 1827, The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for Independence. 1873, A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum. 1892, The city of Chicago dedicated the World's Columbian Exposition. 1903, A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of Alaska. 1910, A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series game for the first time. 1930, "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" debuted on NBC radio. 1935, Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist Headquarters. 1942, Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve in Germany. 1944, Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 1944, During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and Dubrovnik were liberated. 1947, Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist influence within the motion picture industry. 1952, The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 1955, "No Time for Sergeants" opened on Broadway at the Alvin Theatre. The show starred Andy Griffith and Don Knotts made his Broadway debut. The last show was on September 14, 1957. 1957, Walter Cronkite began hosting "The 20th Century." The show aired until January 4, 1970. 1968, Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 1979, The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 1984, The U.S. State Department reduced the number of Americans assigned to the U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon. 1993, Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit the violence in their programs. 1994, The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 1995, Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 2003, A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing a stunt. 2009, European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets. 2022 Do smiled.

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