Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 23 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: British dad bit his baby's nose and shook him to death ______________________________________________________ Today, December 23 in 1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented the transistor. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. --- Bernard Bailey ______________________________________________________ Then there was the hillbilly woman who came to the hospital to have her first child. A year later she was back for a second child. The next year, almost like clockwork, she was back for her third child. The hospital staff naturally began to expect her, and she was there, just like clockwork. In the twelfth year - she didn't show, and the staff wondered what happened...A couple of years later she shows up, but she's not pregnant. The hospital staff wonder what happened - did her husband die, or what? When asked why she hadn't been there having a baby the past couple of years, she replied: "No, no more. Found out what was causin' it." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Vince: When my wife says, "Do you know what we need to do?" it's a pretty safe bet, that she doesn't really mean "we." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said. "I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year." "You have to do it every year," she was told. "Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger without telling anybody?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Doulton Phillips, 17, Southampton Great Britain British dad bit his baby's nose and shook him to death Neighbours recalled hearing 'blood-curdling screams' as Doulton Phillips killed his son Reggie. The teenager, now 17, can be named for the first time after jurors found him guilty of murder. Doulton Phillips bit his baby's nose before violently swinging him to death His identity was protected while he stood trial alongside his girlfriend Alannah Skinner, 19, the baby's mother. Jurors found Skinner, who was 18 at the time, guilty of child cruelty for failing to protect or seek help for her baby. Phillips fractured the baby's skull and ribs, leaving him with a broken leg and bruises, a court heard. The 'deliberate' attack happened in the early hours of February 11 at Skinner's one-room flat in Southampton after they spent the night drinking vodka and beer at a neighbour's party. Prosecutor Adam Feest QC said the series of injuries showed how the baby met with a 'violent end'. 'Residents across the road recall hearing what they described as a blood-curdling or painful scream coming from the flat at about 3am,' he added. One neighbour heard 'a gut-wrenching cry of pain coming from a baby' and the 'sort of screaming that turned her stomach', he said. When the baby was taken to hospital, Phillips told a neighbour: 'What have I done?' But he later claimed to police that Reggie accidentally fell from the sofa when having his nappy changed, or fell from his arms while the couple were arguing. Mr Feest said the explanation could not account for the 'severity or multiplicity of the injuries sustained'. He added: 'They are more in keeping with a violent shaking or swinging, or indeed both. From: Jeanne Re: Hiding recipient addresses Dear Webby, My question is how do you forward a list of information or jokes to list of friends without it showing up on the To: or Cc: I want it to go out without them seeing who I sent it to. Thanks, Jeanne, From London Dear Jeanne Look for the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) The BCC addresses don't show to other recipients. Make sure you put your own address into the TO, otherwise your mail will look like spam and be filtered out by a lot of mail services. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Ross for sending this story and picture: Daughter: My friends and I want to go out tonight. Mother: Where are ya'll going? Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town. Mother: I'm don't think you should. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt. Daughter: But mom!! Please!! It'll be okay. Mother: No, your life is more important than going out. Daughter: But Tiny is going with us... Mother: Well, in that case, it should be okay. Ya'll have fun! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Dianne for this wise advice: Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married. The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT.' He didn't seem annoyed in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh, shit.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, farted and tripped over the coffee table. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Give A Live Plant Instead Of A Bouquet Instead of a flower bouquet that will be wilted and in the trash in a week or two, consider buying a plant. It could be a houseplant or something to plant in the yard in the spring. You can enclose a card saying, "Watch our love grow!" Thriftyfun.com Your plant could even be some herbs in a window-sill her garden. I have seen windowsill herb gardens that have half a dozen popular herbs in them. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | That will teach them to steal packages off your front porch! |
___________________________________________________ Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." ___________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ | Today December 23 in 1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published. 1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', better known as the Hansom cab. 1856 Ralph Collier was issued a U.S. patent for the first rotary egg beater with rotating parts. 1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light Company of Europe. 1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe. 1893 The Engelbert Humperdinck opera "Hansel und Gretel" was first performed, in Weimar, Germany. 1913 The Federal Reserve Bill was signed into law by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson. The act established 12 Federal Reserve Banks. 1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance for the transport patients was launched. The hospital ship was named USS Relief and had 515 beds. 1930 Ruth Elizabeth Davis, an unknown actress, arrived in Hollywood, under contract to Universal Studios. Universal changed her name to Bette Davis for the movies. 1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island surrendered to the Japanese. 1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 1943 "Hansel and Gretel," the opera, was televised on New York's WRBG. It was the first complete opera to be televised. 1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented the transistor. 1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other Japanese war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been found guilty of crimes against humanity. 1951 A National Football League (NFL) championship game was televised nationally for the first time. The Los Angeles Rams beat the Cleveland Browns 24-17. The DuMont Network had paid $75,000 for the rights to the game. 1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of his associates were shot for treason following a secret trial. 1954 The Walt Disney movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" was released. 1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain. 1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released by North Korea. The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd M. Bucher, and 82 of his crew were held for 11 months after the ship was seized by North Korea because of suspected spying by the Americans. 1970 In New York, the topping out ceremony for original One World Trade Center (North Tower) took place. The South Tower's ceremony took place on July 19, 1971. 1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II spacecraft on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 miles of Uranus on July 24, 1986. 1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, around-the-world flight without refueling as it landed safely at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, escaped from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West Virginia. She was recaptured two days later. 1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, were captured as they were attempting to flee their country. 1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its six republics with non-Communist governments. 1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 170 children, during a year-end party being held near the children's school. 1995 The bodies of 16 members of the Solar Temple religious sect were found in a clearing near Grenoble, France. 14 were presumed shot by two people who then committed suicide. 1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges of conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 federal building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 168 people. 1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets at northern Israel. 2018 Do smiled. |
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