Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 25 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Suspect dies in custody after going on violent rampage across Fresno County ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 25 in 1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National Park in Central California. ____________________________________________________ Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. --- William Blake Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!" Then silence. Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ City Boy: Say, Dad, how many types of milk are there? Father: Well, there's evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and --but why do you ask? City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many "spigots" to put on her. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jorge Calleres, Parlier, California, USA Suspect dies in custody after going on violent rampage across Fresno County Fresno police say a Parlier man is dead hours after he shot his ex-girlfriend in the face on Saturday morning, then kidnapped a mother and her four children and stole their car. The trail of violence began in the area of Golden State Blvd. and Dinuba Ave. in Fresno County around noon. That's where Fresno County deputies say 39-year-old Jorge Calleres's ex-girlfriend lives. On Saturday morning, he went inside her house, entered her bedroom, and shot her in the face. The woman is currently in critical condition. According to Fresno police, Calleres then left his ex- girlfriend's home and stole a car with a mother and her four children inside. As he started traveling in the car toward Fresno with the terrified family in it, one of the children made a quick and life-saving decision. "One of the children was, from what I understand very, very smart and actually faked an asthma attack, to where the suspect pulled over and kicked the family out of the vehicle so we're very thankful that all of them are okay," said Fresno police chief Paco Balderrama. About an hour and a half after the shooting, Fresno police received calls regarding a man acting erratically near Peach and Butler Avenues. When officers arrived, they realized he matched the description of Calleres and he appeared to be high on drugs. During the struggle, officers used a taser and three handcuffs to restrain him. That's when they noticed he began having breathing issues. Calleres was taken to the hospital, where he died shortly after. Fresno Police will be investigating this incident as an 'in-custody' death because Calleres was having medical complications while he was handcuffed. In the meantime, the officers involved will be on paid leave. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Hanna Re: Homegroup in W10 Dear Webby, Where is "Homegroup" in W10 ? I can't find it. Hanna Dear Hanna It is gone, dead and buried. Some early versions of W10 still had it, but then Microsoft murdered it. You will have to search for different methods for networking. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date. but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee, and the pot is already washed." ____________________________________________ A Sept 2001 Bonehead award two goes to Seattle police officers, who, after setting off to chase a car thief who stole one of their own police cars, ended up mistaking each other for the suspect, crashing their cars into each other demolition derby style, and having a gun battle where more than 20 bullets were fired at each other while the suspect drove away. And what's good in one sense, and perhaps sad in another, is that none of the officers hit their targets. And what says the Police chief? ''In my 30 years (in law enforcement), I've never seen anything like this.'' ______________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged when he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks or ten years older because of your wisdom." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, Sept 25, in 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. He named the body of water the South Sea. He was truly just the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on Montreal. 1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights. 1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National Park in Central California. 1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the Treaty of Versailles. 1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. 1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students were escorted to class at Central High School in Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to withdraw 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker room after the game. 1981 Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice of the U.S. Supreme Court when she was sworn in as the 102nd justice. She had been nominated the previous July by U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy missiles. 1986 An 1894-S Barber Head dime was bought for $83,000 at a coin auction in California. It is one of a dozen that exist. 1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around $400 million. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions. 1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his biological parents. 1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it reached Mars in August of 1993. 2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted to take over the government on September 19. 2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service. 2021 Do smiled. |
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