Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, November 28 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Road rage face-off, one brother goes after other motorist, then his brother tries to hit the other motorist with his car, but misses and hits his own brother instead, cutting off his leg. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 28 in 1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said. The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach." "Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman. "Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years." ______________________________________________________ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elmer Gonzalez, 44, Palm Beach, Floriduh Road rage face-off, one brother goes after other motorist, then his brother tries to hit the other motorist with his car, but misses and hits his own brother instead, cutting off his leg. Police say a fight broke out at the West Palm Beach, Florida, parking lot after Elmer Jacinto Gonzalez and his brother Rudy Gonzalez accused David Troche of cutting them off. Witnesses, who recorded the fight, told deputies the man didnt want to fight the brothers. However, Rudy Gonzalez hit the man in the head and arm with a large, pipe-like object, witnesses told deputies, and in self-defense, the man took him to the ground. Elmer Gonzalez then got into his wifes car and sped backward trying to hit the man, according to the sheriffs office. The man jumped out of the way, leaving Rudy Gonzalez in the cars path. He was thrown into a parked vehicle, deputies said. Cellphone footage shows Rudy and Troche tussling with each other, before Troche body slams him into the ground. Cellphone footage shows Rudy and Troche tussling with each other, before Troche body slams him into the ground. Rudy then chases after him swinging a two-by-four plank. Elmer gets behind the wheel of his car and shocking video shows him slam the car into reverse and back up while Troche and Rudy are arguing. Elmer misses Troche, but slams into his brother at great speed sending him flying backwards into another car. The impact severed Rudy's leg while the panicked Elmer drove forward, mounting the curb, before reversing and driving straight at Troche's black Dodge Charger. Troche's son, who had been a passenger in his car, was removed moments before impact and taken to a safe place while stunned bystanders called the cops. Elmer Gonzalez was arrested and now faces two counts of attempted murder Rudy Gonzalez was rushed to hospital in a critical condition with a severed leg. His current condition is unknown. His brother was arrested and now faces attempted murder charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits >From Wendy Re: Hot HP laptop Dear Webby, Hi there. Purchased a HP laptop. It's awesome except for Windows 10 DUH! but my question is why does it get so hot? I took the battery out of it as I'm using it with regular power. Someone told me that I needed a 'cooling' mat but since a lot of people who know nothing give advice, I thot it best that I go to the head-honcho! Thanks for all your help in the past. Thank goodness we have someone to go to who hasn't got a dollar in the pie. Blessings and pray all is going well with your eyes. Wendy Dear Wendy If the laptop is new and sitting on a hard surface that allows air circulation under it, it should not get too hot. If you use a separate keyboard and have a pile of bills piled on the laptop, file them elsewhere. It needs to suck in fresh air through the keyboard. If the laptop is a few years old and has never been cleaned out, open it up and vacuum it out. Clean fans and heat-sinks with Q-tips and Windex until they are clean and shiny, or get somebody to do that for you. If you are running your laptop on top of your lap, or bed, or anything soft, put it onto a hard cutting board, so that air intakes underneath or on the sides are not obstructed. It's not a matter of software, just of air movement. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Gayle for this one: An American has an emergency and crash-lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is bandaged from head to foot. He sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot. "Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear. "No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You kaime here yisterdie." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Leftover Turkey In Gravy By Monica Adam [12 Posts, 28 Comments] I usually freeze the turkey in the gravy! That way the turkey stays moist. By Monica from Pingree Grove, IL ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Is it just me or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. Also they track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 21 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. The solution is to give every illegal alien a cow. ____________________________________________________ | | Examples of crappy design. |
1 - HER DIARY Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shoping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 5 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep I don't know what to do I'm sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. 2 - HIS DIARY Today the Leafs got knocked out of the playoffs, don't know how I am going to pay all my lost bets. But at least I got laid. Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on November 28 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 1757 English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was born. Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence" and "Songs of Experience." 1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member of the British Parliament. 1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove. 1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran to map out strategy concerning World War II. 1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic within the French community. 1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of residents. 1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Kennedy on a course set for Mars. 1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab in its cargo bay. 1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning Northern Ireland. 1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after escaping her homeland through Hungary. 1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or "confidential." 2016 Do smiled. |
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