Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, February 21 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man arrested for turning his apartment into indoor shooting range Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, February 21 in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. The only part of that, which remains in our Government institutions, is that productive people are taxed at a higher percentage rate, than people, who don't work as hard, or at all. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. --- Doug Larson The higher the buildings, the lower the morals. --- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching a dozen fish, and he didn't get any!" ______________________________________________________ After the boy's birthday, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her teenage son of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous check she had given. The next year things were different, however. "My grandson came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend triumphantly. "How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused his change in behavior?" "Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the check." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ From a church bulletin: A family-type film, suitable for both children and parents, will be shown at the Sunday evening service at 6:00 p.m. Free puppies will be given to all children not accompanied by a parent. _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ivan Bakh, 61, Cape Coral, Florida Florida man arrested for turning his apartment into indoor shooting range CAPE CORAL, Fla. A Florida man was arrested Sunday after allegedly trying to turn his Cape Coral apartment into an indoor shooting range, according to the Cape Coral Police Department. Ivan Bakh, 61, was charged when his neighbors called police to report that they were awakened by a loud bang and found a large hole in the headboard of their beds, just over their heads. A second hole was discovered in the dresser mirror at the foot of the victims' bed, police say. Further investigation from the victims uncovered another hole in the adjacent living room (on the other side of the wall from the dresser mirror) and a fourth hole in the living room's far wall. After police were summoned, they made contact with Bakh, the victims' next-door neighbor, according to the police report. An investigation of his apartment revealed a large hole through the wall between his apartment and the victims' next door. Several books were found, taped together and propped on a shelf. One had a target drawn on the cover in red marker, police say. The books appeared to be perforated by several rounds, according to police. A 9 mm shell casing was located in the hallway between the bathroom and the bedroom of Bakh's residence, police say. Also located inside the home was a safe containing a 9 mm Glock. The rounds located inside the magazine of the Glock handgun were a match to the 9mm spent casing located on the ground inside the residence, according to police. Bakh was charged with shooting into a dwelling and reckless discharge of a firearm and transported to Lee County Jail, police say. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maria Re: Hotmail woes Dear Webby, Hi Dear Webby, I miss you........the last letter I received from you is this one. (dated February 16) What is happening ? Am I no longer on your mailing list? I really enjoy reading you, and hope you will be able to correct this. Keep up the good work. Maria Dear Maria garden*****@hotmail.com|Maria|humor That shows me that your subscription has been sent to your address today and every day. However, once it has entered the hoe mail server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Microsoft has been announcing the end of Hotmail for probably 20 years. Why don't you believe Microsoft? You can read what I had sent to you in the Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog Have you considered getting a respectable email address like a Gmail address? Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I'll take them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened." I told her: "I'll go talk to the manager", locked the till, took the opened package and dropped it back on the shelf on my way to a better job. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
John took Wendy to dinner at a really posh restaurant. They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maitre d', and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, John unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back. Staring at him, the maitre d' said, between gritted teeth, "Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Label It Before It Goes In The Freezer Attach a marker to your fridge and write a date on everything you put in your freezer. If you don't want to write on reusable freezer containers, just attach a label with the date on it. Before you go shopping, take stock of what you have in the freezer and plan meals that use it up. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, "HORSE for sale." Dear Webby I am amazed every day about how much work you put into your newsletter, and I do appreciate it. I would stay subscribed, even if you charged a bit for it. Yours Helen ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, February 21, in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. 1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in Boston, MA. 1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. were distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was a single page of only fifty names. 1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in France. The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with a French victory over Germany. 1932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the first camera to take, develop and print a picture on photo paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black and white. The camera went on sale the following year. 1950 The first International Pancake Race was held in Liberal, Kansas. 1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. 1968 An agreement between baseball players and club owners increased the minimum salary for major league players to $10,000 a year. 1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 1975 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell and former White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John D. Ehrlichman were sentenced to 2 1/2 to 8 years in prison for their roles in the Watergate cover-up. 1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted prostitute. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." 1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 2018 Do smiled. |
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