Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 21 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Today's Bonehead Award: Ex-NFL player Zac Stacy arrested after brutal attack of woman in Florida ___________________________________________________ Today, November 21 in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. Every 30 miles there was an outhouse with this inscription inside the door: "Winding in and winding out, it fills my mind with serious doubt, wheter the lout, who designed this rout was going to hell, or coming out." When I came to the Yukon in 1970, many of those outhouses were still operational. ____________________________________________________ Honesty is the best image. --- Tom Wilson He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) ____________________________________________________ An elderly lady is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink too." The elderly matron says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one also.The lady says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The 80 year old replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ____________________________________________________   Mammilaria Matudae-Thumb Cactus ____________________________________________________ At the end of their first date, a guy takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, the guy decides to try for the first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, how 'bout a good night kiss?" Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" Her: "No way. It's just too risky!" Him "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?" Her: "No, no. I just can't" Him: "I beg you ... " Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for God sake tell the idiot to take his hand off the intercom!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Zac Stacy, Orlando, Florida, USA  Ex-NFL player Zac Stacy arrested after brutal attack of woman in Florida  Ex-NFL player Zac Stacy arrested at Orlando airport Ex-NFL star Zac Stacy went before a judge on Friday after he was arrested at the Orlando International Airport. He's facing charges of Aggravated Battery and Criminal Mischief. The Orlando Police Department released this statement following Stacy's arrest: "The Orlando Police Department received information that NFL Player, Zac Stacy, wanted out of Orange County/ City of Oakland for Aggravated Battery in a Domestic Violence case was arriving at the Orlando International Airport. Our officers made contact with Stacy as he exited an inbound flight from Nashville and placed him in custody. Stacy was transported to the Orange County Jail without incident." Stacy was wanted after a graphic and disturbing video emerged on social media that allegedly shows the former running back beating his ex-girlfriend inside her Florida home on Saturday. In court on Friday, Stacy's lawyer said he had flown back to Florida from Tennessee after learning that police in Oakland had issued a warrant for his arrest and had intended on turning himself in. Prosecutors asked the judge to order Stacy to surrender his passport if granted release because they say he left the state immediately after the alleged attack. Stacys bond is set at $10,150 on felony charges. He is not allowed to have contact with the victim if released. A disturbing video emerged on social media that allegedly shows former NFL running back Zac Stacy beating his ex- girlfriend inside her Florida home on Saturday. FOX News reports that the woman, who could be seen in the video being thrown into a TV stand and hit, applied for a restraining order against the former New York Jets player, citing TMZ Sports on Wednesday. The woman had reportedly claimed that Stacy punched her several times in the head, according to TMZ Sports. "I begged him to stop because the baby was on the couch just a few feet from where he punched me," she wrote, according to the report. In a statement to FOX 35 News, Oakland Police confirm that on Nov. 13, officers responded to an emergency call about a domestic disturbance. "Officers arrived on scene within two minutes and were able to determine a domestic violence battery had taken place and that the suspect, Zackary Stacy, had fled the scene," police said. "Officers continued to search for Stacy, and the case was forwarded to the investigations unit of the Oakland Police Department to establish probable cause to secure a warrant for Stacys arrest." Since Stacy was believed to be outside of Oakland police jurisdiction, the Orange County Sheriffs Office reportedly attempted to apprehend Stacy, but police say they learned he had fled the state. FOX News reports that the woman in the video can be heard begging for him to stop while the 5-month-old looks on while seated on the couch. At one point, the woman can be seen being body-slammed into one of the babys bouncy seats. According to a redacted arrest affidavit from the Oakland Police Department, the woman involved said she was "extending an olive branch" to her son's father, identified as Stacy. He had brought breakfast over. However, while eating, they started arguing and he got physical with her. "He struck [redacted] on the right side of her head and picked her up, and threw her against the television, causing it to crack and fall over. While [redacted] was on the floor, he continued yelling at [redacted] and striking her while she got up from the floor, picked her up again, and threw her onto the baby's bouncy chair. Stacy then walked out the front door," the affidavit said. The affidavit also confirmed that two children, one of which is Stacy's child, were present when the incident occurred. Stacy, who retired from the NFL in 2017, left before police arrived, and the woman said she visited the hospital after the incident and had bumps and bruises, the report said. Stacy, 30, played three years in the NFL. After the judge sees the video of him beating up the mother of his kid, he will be lucky if he gets to play bingo in jail.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Rosalyn Re: How bad is W11? Dear Webby How bad is W11? I have finally gotten used to W10. I still hate it! It is much slower than W7 and requires reboots all the time. I am definitely NOT looking forward to learn to cope with a totally new batch of annoyances! Rosalyn  Dear Rosalyn Because I use my machines for real work, I dumped the W10 machines and got W7 Refurbs. Smartest deal I ever made! Keep your eyes open for W7 refurbs. They are still availble. Brand new high powered machines with a factory installed, legal W7. I love mine! Actually, from what I heard, W10 has been mostly fixed by now and is almost like W7. By the time W11 comes out officially in a couple of years, W10 supposedly will be quite usable. Most definitely DO NOT try to "update" your W10 to W11. If you do, you will toss your machine into a dumpster, quite possibly without opening the window. If you do want to use W11 for some weird and wacky reason and heavy hypnotism, get a new machine from Dell-Microsoft, with W11 installed at the factory in China. Some machines are built in the US, but the fully loaded hard drive comes from China, and is a mass clone from a master drive set up professionally by Microsoft. You just have to download "Should I Remove It" and dump all the unnecessary crap, and the machine will be ready to use. (They claim) Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 A cop walking his usual beat sees an older man pulling a box on a leash down a busy street. "Poor fellow," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor him." "That's a nice dog you got there," the cop says to the man. "It isn't a dog, it's a box," the man replies. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman. "I thought you were a bit....strange." The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?" ______________________________________________ A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before. All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty. One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need when I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Over the cover of a women's magazine, a title caught her eye: "Men's Secret Fear About Their Working Wives." She decided to get a first hand account. "What's your innermost fear about my working?" she asked her husband. "That you'll quit," he promptly replied. ___________________________________________________  
 Today, November 21, in 1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5 miles over Paris. Their balloon was powered by a BBQ using coal. 1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. Every 30 miles there was an outhouse with this inscription inside the door: "Winding in and winding out, we don't know whether the lout, who designed this rout was going to hell, or coming out." When I came to the Yukon in 1970, many of those outhouses were still operational. 1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced that "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures against Cuba. 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jacqueline, arrived in San Antonio, TX. They were beginning an ill-fated, two-day tour of Texas that would end in Dallas. 1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, announced the presence of an 18-minute gap in one of the White House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out "who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas. Kristin was the character that fired the gun. (Texas) 1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, NV. 1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for Israel. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 1986 U.S. Attorney General Meese was asked to conduct an inquiry of the Iran arms sales. 1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were televised live for the first time. 1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual advances toward 10 women in past years. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making the District of Columbia the 51st state. 1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian "safe area" of Bihac. 1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a test site in the South Pacific. 1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep the presidential recounts going. 2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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