Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 24 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ___________________________________________________ Today, July 24 in  1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.  _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Domestic abuser snatched baby from mothers arms and threw him at wall  ______________________________________________________ It is a wise father that knows his own child. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. --- Mary Wilson Little A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time. --- Jay Leno _____________________________________________________ Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., Prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." _____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Trish in Oz   Baby SUN fish ___________________________________________________ A man attempting to set up his new printer called the tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it! ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Javonte McGill, 26, Witchita Falls, Texas, USA 
 Domestic abuser snatched baby from mothers arms and threw him at wall 
 Javonte McGill, 26, is charged with child endangerment, assault of a family member and interfering with an emergency call in connection with the alleged attack on the one-year-old boy in Witchita Falls, Texas on Saturday. Police said a woman reported that she was being assaulted and said her boyfriend, McGill, who is the father of two of their children, got a call from another woman, according to Texomas Homepage. McGill reportedly said he was going to the second womans house and the victim said she would leave if he did. Police said McGill then told the victim she was not leaving and pushed her onto a bed. When the woman tried to leave, McGill allegedly grabbed her by the hair, dragged her to the floor and hit her in the face multiple times. Police later found the womans wig lying on the floor. The woman tried to call 911, but McGill told her, we do not call police, then took her phone and hurled it. Police said the woman then picked up her one-year-old child and tried to escape, but McGill took the baby out of her hands and threw him into a wall. The woman then picked up her child and ran to a nearby store to call police, according to authorities. McGill was found a short time later at his mothers home and arrested.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Vicky RE: How dangerous is Covid?   Dear Webby, Is that Covid virus really that dangerous, or just a gimmick to hurt the economy before the election? Vicky  Dear Vicky Yes, you got it. Depending on where you are, homicides, drunk driving, dope and flu kill more people. Boost your immunity with grapefruit rinds boiled down, eat your share of meat and vegetables, do some exercises in fresh air, at least a bit of walking, and you will be fine. After the election the Dementos will stop sabotaging the economy, and the whole Covid fashion will becvome history. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 An old-time farm wife sold her vegetables at a road-side stand. One day a local web designer stopped by and suggested that she advertise on the web. "Certainly not!" she replied. "Last time I did that, so many people came, they bought out everything I had before lunch, and I stood here looking stupid!" _____________________________________________ The current scandals over how large companies have been cooking the books reminds me of a basic accounting course I took years ago. The professor was explaining an accounting method called "First In Last Out," which is useful for industries that accumulate large inventories of stuff. It explains why the oil industry, for example, reported huge profits during the 1970's when the oil shortage occurred. They stopped buying oil, so they had to use oil that, on paper, had been purchased in the 1930's at 20 a barrel. They of course sold it at current market prices, which accounted for their huge profits. One of the students put up his hand and said, "Excuse me, sir, but that doesn't sound very ethical to me." To which the professor replied, "You're in the wrong class, son, this is Accounting 101. Ethics 101 is two doors down the hall, on the left." ____________________________________________ >From Richard Living in Washington State, my husband and I often take car trips to Canada to visit his family. One holiday season we stopped at the border, where the guard asked my husband the value of any goods we would be leaving in Canada. My husband paused to think of the value of the gifts we had with us. "Never mind," the guard said, "What's the most expensive thing in your car?" Without hesitation, my husband replied, "My wife." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today July 24 in 1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah. 1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press. 1866 Tennessee became the first state to be readmitted to the Union after the U.S. Civil War. 1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland. 1929 U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy. 1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day. 1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean. 1985 Walt Disney released their 25th full-length cartoon. The work was "The Black Cauldron." 1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japans highest peak. 2020 Do smiled. 

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