Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, December 26 Happy Boxing Day! Thank You, Ian! Thank you Nancy! -28 and a brutal wind filled with drifting snow made my walk so uncomfortable, that I shortened my route. It was a reminder of Carl Sagans "Ice Age is Coming" rant from the 70s, that got you feeling guilty about fun muscle cars. So you got rid of powerful cars, and got Gullible Warming. What now, is the cause of the current cold ripple? Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Older Couple Caught With 60 Pounds Of Pot Said It Was For Christmas Gifts  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, December 26 in 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason.  See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. --- Carl Zwanzig A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. --- William S. Burroughs (1914 - 1997) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me! Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . . Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it.. You can feed me while he's busy. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? _____________________________________________________ One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________   Split Rock, Minnesota ____________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ 'LOST' screamed the ad in a local paper in Celina, Ohio. 'Female medium-size gray tiger cat. Answers to Lucy, sometimes, or Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, sometimes, or the sound of an electric can opener, always.' _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Patrick Jiron, 80, Clearlake Oaks, California  Older Couple Caught With 60 Pounds Of Pot Said It Was For Christmas Gifts  The street value of the Christmas haul was estimated at $336,000.  A routine traffic stop in York County, Nebraska, on Tuesday turned out to be anything but routine. That's because officers found 60 pounds of pot in the vehicle, which was occupied by an older couple traveling on Interstate 80, according to the York News-Times. Deputies in York County stopped a Toyota Tacoma after it crossed the center line and the driver failed to signal. Deputies said they immediately smelled what appeared to be raw marijuana. When drug-sniffing dogs confirmed their suspicion, officers searched the pickup and found the weed in boxes inside the pickup topper, the newspaper reported. York County sheriff's Lt. Paul Vrbka told the paper he estimated the confiscated cannabis to be worth about $336,000. Patrick Jiron, 80, was arrested on charges of possession of marijuana with the intent to deliver and having no drug tax stamp, both felonies. Jiron was released after he posted 10 percent of his $100,000 bond, according to the York News-Times. His wife, 70-year-old Barbara Jiron, was cited but not jailed due to what Vrbka described as some medical issues. Vrbka said the couple told police they were traveling to Vermont from Clearlake Oaks, California, and intended to give out the weed as Christmas presents, according to WOWT.com.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Eliza Re: How long to keep blacklist? Dear Webby, You mentioned at one time how long to keep addresses in the Mailwasher blacklist. I am quite happy with MailWasher, but I noticed that the blacklist file is getting quite large, and sooner or later that must be putting a load on my machine. And how do you deal with spammers that keep changing their forged sending addresses? Eliza  Dear Eliza MailWasher generally ignores the sender address, unless it is in the blacklist, since most spammers forge their sender address anyway. MailWasher checks the content of spam. Persistent spammers like the Bed & Bath crooks are best dealt with a filter. It takes 20 seconds to make a filter, and you never see mail from those crooks again. To keep the blacklist short and fast, I age it off in two days. By then the spammers usually change their address anyway. For those of you who haven't got MailWasher yet, click on the MailWasher button in the right side menu and get a free trial copy. DearWebby   
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.  A man is sitting down on a public toilet when suddenly, the guy in the stall next to him says: Hi, how are you? Um...fine, answers the man. What are you up to? asks the other guy. I?m traveling, the man says hesitantly. "Are you coming over soon?" "Excuse me?" Mind if I stop over?? What? ARE YOU CRAZY? Don?t even think of coming over here!" Hey, Ill call you back, says the other guy. The idiot in the next stall thinks I am talkin to him. 
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 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Luggage to Use This is a handy tip if you don't use your luggage regularly. Instead of storing it empty, fill it up with out of season clothing or extra blankets. Attach a tag that lists to contents on the handle so you can see what is in it at a glance. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font>  ____________________________________________________  A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is a check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."  
 
The beautifully painted Monasteries of Romania. It's amazing to me what colorful paintings ancient men did without the modern paints we have today. 
 Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big men in gangster suits standing by the door? They're hushers." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, December 26, in 1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the world heavyweight title. 1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation of the nation's railroads to prevent strikes. 1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. 1927 The East-West Shrine football game featured numbers on both the front and back of players' jerseys. 1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 1941 U.S. President Roosevelt signed a resolution that set a fixed-date, the fourth Thursday of November, for the Federal Thanksgiving Day holiday. 1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 1953 "Big Sister" was heard for the last time on CBS Radio. The show had run for 17 years. 1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 1959 The first charity walk took place, along Icknield Way, in aid of the World Refugee Fund. 1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 1986 Doug Jarvis, age 31, set a National Hockey League (NHL) record as he skated in his 916th consecutive game. Jarvis eventually set the individual record for most consecutive games played with 964. 1986 "Search for Tomorrow" was seen for the last time on CBS-TV. The show had been on the air for 35-years. 1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. 1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the Palestinian Authority. 1996 Six-year-old beauty queen Jon Benet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder, CO. 1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 1999 Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal history. 2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made the December 27 by Clonaid. 2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. 2017 Do smiled. 
 
 

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