Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 1 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Man Busted For Battering Girlfriend With Slice Of Pizza _____________________________________________________ Today, October 1 in 1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. _____________________________________________________ We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. --- Rita Rudner Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) _____________________________________________________ There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. The boys say he is two bricks short of a load, or couple fries short of a happy meal. To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "No sir, you see if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!" _____________________________________________________ >from Linda ___________________________________________________ Morris, went to his rabbi for some needed advice. "Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?" "No Morris, a man should not profit from another's man mistakes" answered the rabbi. "Are you sure Rabbi?" "Of course, I'm sure, in fact I'm positive" exclaimed the Rabbi "Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife.?" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sean Metcalf, 59, Port Charlotte, Florida, USA Man Busted For Battering Girlfriend With Slice Of Pizza A Florida Man slapped his girlfriend in the face with a slice of pizza, leaving her covered in grease, red sauce, and food toppings, according to police who arrested the accused batterer. Responding Wednesday night to a call about a disturbance at an apartment building in Port Charlotte, cops were met by the 51- year-old victim, who said that Sean Metcalf, 59, had "smacked her in the face with a piece of pizza." The woman said she was taking items to the trash when Metcalf became very angry and started to yell at her. Included in the material the woman planned on tossing was a pizza box she mistakenly thought was empty. Sean told her not to throw his things away and became very angry, according to a probable cause affidavit. The victim responded by tossing the pizza box back into the residence, causing slices to escape containment. Metcalf allegedly then approached his girlfriend, picking up a slice of pizza and hitting the victim in the face and chest with it. When questioned by cops, Metcalf admitted losing his cool and yelling at the victim, but denied the dispute became physical. He also claimed to have no idea how pizza got all over the victim. Seen above, Metcalf was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Charlotte County jail. He was released from custody Thursday after posting $2000 bond. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with the victim. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Anna RE: Power in USB port Dear Webby, How much power is in a USB port? You mentioned coffee warmers. Don't they take a lot of power? Anna Dear Anna Those coffee warmers are not for brewing or percolating coffee, but just for keeping your coffee from getting cold and bitter. They take very little power. If you have a Type C USB port, where you don't have to fart around with getting the plug right side up, you can quick-charge a phone or camera or drone airplane. On a PD type you can use a USB Coffee ginder or one cup coffee maker. Don't use them if you are running on the laptop battery! They are intended for use only while plugged into the house or vehicle or boat power. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife, Sarah, was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered, Sarah continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You're cute." "What happened to 'beautiful'?" Sarah asked. "The drugs are wearing off," he replied. ____________________________________________ Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp." ____________________________________________ Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off. Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize. "Hello, darling," he said, "what are you making for dinner?" "What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner?? Poison, that's what I'm making, poison." Bernie replies, "Okay then, just make one portion, I'm not coming home until after the funeral." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 1 in 1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. effectively doubling its size. 1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 1885 Special delivery mail service began in the United States. The first routes were in West Virginia. 1890 The U.S. Congress passed the McKinley Tariff Act. The act raised tariffs to a record level. 1896 Rural Free Delivery was established by the U.S. Post Office. 1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. The purchase price of the car was $850. 1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during World War I by a force made up of British and Arab forces. 1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of the Spanish state. 1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and regained control of the Sudetenland. The Munich Pact had been signed two days before. 1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll superhighway in the United States. 1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during World War II. 1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted. 1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan. 1962 Johnny Carson began hosting the "Tonight" show on NBC-TV. He stayed with the show for 29 years. Jack Paar was the previous host. 1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University of California at Berkeley. 1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations with the United States. 1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. 1980 Robert Redford became the first male to appear alone on the cover of "Ladies' Home Journal." He was the only male to achieve this in 97 years. 1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) Center opened in Florida. The concept was planned by Walt Disney. 1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by Israeli jet fighters. 1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany after they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in Haiti that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power. U.S. economic and military aid was suspended. 1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching a series of trade agreements. 1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began a lockout of the players that lasted 103 days. 1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants were convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the U.S. through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for the capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused of killing an undercover U.S. agent during a drug purchase in 1994. 1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples Republic of China was celebrated in Beijing. 2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away from children at city libraries. The board left the decision up to the Library Commission to decide whether to install filtering software in children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated the use of the filters. 2009 In the United Arab Emirates, the exterior construction of the Burj Khalifa skyscraper was completed 2020 Do smiled. |
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