Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, October 9 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Teen Busted For Throwing Woman Into Swimming Pool _____________________________________________________ Today, October 9 in 1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. _____________________________________________________ "Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it." --- Richard Feynman _____________________________________________________ One Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!" _____________________________________________________ Blue Jay in Spruce Grove Donna Bloski ___________________________________________________ The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family? The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Leon Balfour, 16, North Lauderdale, Florida, USA Teen Busted For Throwing Woman Into Swimming Pool A Florida teenager is facing a battery charge after he threw a 68-year-old woman into a swimming pool after she complained about the noise level at a raucous party Saturday evening at a North Lauderdale housing complex. As detailed in a Broward County Sheriffs Office report, victim Nancy James, a board member of the Players Place Homeowners Association, sought to stop an unauthorized pool party. As seen in the above video, after James arrived poolside, she was grabbed from behind by Leon Balfour, 16, who lifted her in the air before tumbling to the concrete pool deck. Balfour, cops allege, then dragged the elderly victim several feet and threw her into the pool. James, seen at right, was frightened and upset and sustained injuries to her leg and shoulder as a result of the incident, according to the sheriffs report. James, who suffered large bruises on her shoulder and leg, was treated Sunday at a local hospital. Investigators quickly identified Balfour as the culprit and he reportedly confessed to the crime in the presence of his mother and his lawyer. I messed up and I have to own up to it, the report quotes Balfour as saying. Balfours mother, Shekita Johnson, provided cops with the red Champion shirt her son was wearing when he attacked James. During a court appearance yesterday, a judge placed Balfour (pictured at left) on home detention, though the teen is allowed to attend school, church, and basketball practice for his travel team. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jane RE: Kill FireFox site data and cache and cookies Dear Webby, I am going to give my old computer to my granddaughter, but first I want to kill FireFox site data and cache and cookies. How do I do that? Jane Dear Jane Click the menu button Fx57Menu and select Options. Select the Privacy & Security panel and go to the Cookies and Site Data section. Click the Clear Data button. The Clear Data dialog will appear. Cookies and Site Data (to remove login status and site preferences) and Cached Web Content (to remove stored images, scripts and other cached content) should both be check marked. Click Clear. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding. Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just trying to get him to stop snoring." ____________________________________________ The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My Mom is a good cook!" ____________________________________________ A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place.... The man says "What's the problem officer?" Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going 80. [Man gives his wife a dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. [Man gives his wife a dirty look.] Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth!" Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you like this all the time? Wife says: "No, only when he's drunk!" Man to his wife: "Since you are drunker than I am, and since you can't drive even when you are not drunk, you get to walk home now, and to the store for a few months." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 9 in 1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against punishments for religious offenses and giving away land that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek religious freedom. 1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is now San Francisco, CA. 1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led by George Washington, defeated the British troops under Lord Cornwallis. 1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, and St. Louis, MO, began. 1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later became Montgomery Wards. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 1888 The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the first time. 1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 1930 Aviator Laura Ingalls landed in Glendale, CA, to complete the first solo transcontinental flight across the U.S. by a woman. 1936 The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later changed to Hoover Dam. 1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 1983 Helen Moss joined the Brownies at the age of 83. She became the oldest person to become a member. 1986 U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth federal official to be removed from office through impeachment. The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of "high crimes and misdemeanors." 1986 The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber opened in London. 1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a hundred. 2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing him to number 9. 2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 2020 Do smiled. |
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