Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, October 28 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Today's Bonehead Award: Dearborn man arrested for trying to kidnap 12-year-old from Novi Kroger multiple times  ___________________________________________________ Today, October 28 in 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. ____________________________________________________ There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) You gotta dream? You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it, period. --- Steven Conrad You gotta dream? You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it, period. --- Steven Conrad When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ____________________________________________________ The woman yelled at her husband, "You're gonna be really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!" He responded, "Make up your mind! Which one is it gonna be?" ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,''Stop,' and 'Don't!'" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Mathias Mangone, 24, Dearborn, Michigan, USA  Dearborn man arrested for trying to kidnap 12-year-old from Novi Kroger multiple times  Novi police arrested a Dearborn man after he allegedly tried kidnapping a 12-year-old girl inside a grocery store multiple times Sunday night. Mathias Mangone, 24, was detained by police after he tried grabbing the girl four separate times inside a Kroger, a press release said. He now faces kidnapping and criminal sexual conduct charges. Novi police arrested a Dearborn man after he allegedly tried kidnapping a 12-year-old girl inside a grocery store multiple times Sunday night. Mathias Mangone, 24, was detained by police after he tried grabbing the girl four separate times inside a Kroger, a press release said. He now faces kidnapping and criminal sexual conduct charges. The incident happened around 7:41 p.m. when police got the call about the attempted kidnapping. According to police, the 12-year-old girl was with her mom, dad, and sister inside the Kroger, located on Grand River Avenue west of Beck Road on Oct. 24 when Mangone attempted to grab her. According to police, a review of video inside the Kroger showed the suspect tried grabbing the girl on at least four occasions. Mangone is currently being held on a $1 million bond. His next court appearance is scheduled for Nov. 3 at 11 a.m. for a probable cause conference. According to police sources, Mathias Mangone tried to grab a young girl from a Novi Kroger multiple times and told police that he likes to do this to young girls.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Myriam Re: Clean monitor screen Dear Webby, There are dozens of usually conflicting theories for cleaning the screens of modern flat monitors. Which one is actually right? Myriam  Dear Myriam Spray on Windex or simmilar window cleaner, wait 60 seconds and wipe clean with a recently laundered lint free cloth. Microfiber also works well. Paper towel is generally frowned upon because in the old days it used to have minerals in it to help whiten it. Window squeegies are a definite NO-NO! They drag dust particles around and can damage the coating on the screen. Just use any clean, soft cloth or tissue, nd be gentle. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Two hillbillies were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a Possum Burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' help?" Yep," said the second hillbilly. The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked, "Kin yew breathe?" She shook her head no. Kin yew speak?" he asked, She again shook her head no. With that, he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt, and started to lick her on the rear end. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and half the possum burger, and began to breathe, with great relief. The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever' time!" ------------- I find it funny how women can tell from a distance if a guy knows how to do the Heimlich Maneuvre. They never chocke if I am within 50 feet. ______________________________________________ Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes. ______________________________________________ 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Just before his scheduled operation, a man is wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair. A nurse stops him and asks, "What's the matter?" The man tells her, "I heard another nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation. Don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you. What's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor." ___________________________________________________
 Today, October 28, in 1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first school of higher education in America. 1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the American Revolutionary War. 1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the World." 1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use fingerprinting. 1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and introduced fascism to Italy. 1936 The Statue of Liberty was rededicated by U.S. President Roosevelt on its 50th anniversary. 1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 1949 U.S. President Harry Truman swore in Eugenie Moore Anderson as the U.S. ambassador to Denmark. Anderson was the first woman to hold the post of ambassador. 1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the name John XXIII. 1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was completed. 1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 1982 Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev condemned the U.S. for arms buildup. 1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the troops there would be home by Christmas. 1996 The Dow Jones Industial Average gained a record 337.17 points (or 5%). The day before the Dow had dropped 554.26 points (or 7%). 2021 Do smiled. 

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