Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, October 7 Thank you, Betty! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Man arrested for kidnapping, raping Wichita woman _____________________________________________________ Today, October 6 in 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. _____________________________________________________ No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. --- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592) _____________________________________________________ An embarrassed young woman was farting uncontrollably when her date was due to arrive. She was an accomplished pianist so to drown the noise she offered the play the Storm Scene from the William Tell Overture. She had concluded the piece when she felt another fart attack on its way and quickly asked him if he would like another tune on the piano. "Well if it is that storm scene again," he said, "can you leave out the bit where the lightning strikes the outhouse? _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Sue Looking for something different for my sister's birthday, I decided on a pair of pajamas made up of bright scenic prints of the natural wonders of the world. I wrapped them up and sent them off. I just received this e-mail from her. "Dear Sis," she wrote. "I don't mind having '12,948 feet high' indicated on my bosom, but I thoroughly resent "greatest natural span" across my bottom!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darrius Johnson, 34, Wichita, Kansas, USA Man arrested for kidnapping, raping Wichita woman Wichita police have arrested a 34-year-old man on suspicion of aggravated kidnapping and rape. Darrius Johnson is jailed on $1.35 million bond for the kidnapping count and two counts of failure to comply. No bond is listed on the rape count. Police say he was out on bond in another sex crime case at the time of his arrest. Officers responded Tuesday, September 22 to the report of a sexual assault in the 800 block of South Sylvan, near Lincoln and Edgemoor. A 48-year-old woman told police she was walking in the area on Lincoln and Oliver when Johnson grabbed her and forced her into his Toyota Camry. Police spokesperson Paul Cruz says Johnson allegedly drove the victim to a separate location, sexually assaulted her and then drove her back to Lincoln and Oliver where she was released. Johnson was developed as a suspect and he was arrested Thursday in the 2100 block of South White Oak, which is near Pawnee and Rock Road. Police say the suspect and victim do not know each other. Kansas Department of Corrections records show Johnson was sentenced in 2010 to Community Corrections for attempted aggravated sexual battery in Riley County. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: George RE: How to fix privacy defaults Dear Webby, W10 seems to be changing my privacy and data permissions worse than your avergae high school hacker. How can I check and correct that? George Dear George Use the Start Menu to search for and run the Settings app, then click Privacy. In the left-hand pane, you'll see many areas where your computer might be sharing data. It's worth spending time checking that you're comfortable with allowing apps to use your computer's camera, microphone, account information and so on, and where you are, checking that no surprise apps appear in the lists. Note, too, that the default Feedback & diagnostics setting is to send enhanced data to Microsoft. If Windows Defender is using and abusing you, click the back arrow and select Update & Security, then Windows Defender. Check that you're happy with the default behaviour, which is to enable Cloud-based detection and Automatic sample submission. Just change anything and everything to NO. In the extremely unlikely event that you have to allow any of that, like your camera and microphone for using ZOOM or Skype with your doctor, then you can always temporarily allow it. For the rest of the time, nobody needs to listen to your farts or watch you picking your nose. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. The dentist was about to give the man some local anesthesia to numb the pain. "Don't give me any drugs doc, I can take the pain." the man said. The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man just grunted. Then the doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only this one snapped in half. But again the man just grunted. "Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at, have you ever felt pain like that before?" asked the amazed dentist. "Well, twice actually." said the man, "The first time was when I was out in the woods and had to take a crap really bad. I pulled down my pants and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap closed on my balls and I started running...." "Damn that must have hurt." the dentist interrupted. "What was the second time?" "Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came to the end of it's chain." ____________________________________________ You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war! ____________________________________________ When you are dating..You picture the two of you together, growing old together When you are married You wonder who will die first. ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 7 in 1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of Saratoga began. 1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. 1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops over the border into North Korea. 1951 The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the first hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and pillows. 1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union. 1968 The Motion Picture Association of America adopted the film- rating system that ranged for "G" to "X." 1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next president of Egypt. 1985 The United States announced that it would no longer automatically comply with World Court decisions. 1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism in favor of democratic socialism. 1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, and naval firepower to Somalia. 1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks from offering other cards. 1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves. 2000 Vojislav Kostunica took the oath of office as Yugoslavia's first popularly elected president. 2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in Afghanistan in response to that state's support of terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 2020 Do smiled. |
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