Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, September 8 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Thank you, Leon!! Thank you Donnie!! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida driver more than 4 times over the limit  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Sept 8 in 1664 The Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, who then renamed it New York. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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______________________________________________________ A short saying oft contains much wisdom. --- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC) The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments. --- William H. Borah ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How did I get here, Mommy?" she asks. Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why God sent you, Honey." "And did God send you too, Mommy?" she continues. "Yes, Sweetheart, he did." "And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?" "Yes, Honey, all of them, too." The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're telling me there's been no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ At the counter, a woman was complaining about the departure time, saying, "Young man, I could stick a feather in my butt and get there faster." The clerk smiled and said, "Yeah, and you'd save extra time by not having to go through Security! Go for it!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jasbir, 67, Bhupinder, 61, Devbir Kalsi, 33, Hillsborogh, Florida Parents flew from India to Florida to help their son beat up his wife A husband and wife are accused of flying from India to Florida to help discipline their son's wife, who was found badly beaten and allegedly held against her will at a Tampa Bay area home on Saturday, law enforcement authorities said. Jasbir Kalsi, 67, and Bhupinder Kalsi, 61, were arrested along with their son, Devbir Kalsi, 33, after the victim's relatives in India requested a welfare check by the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, according to an incident report. A deputy who went to the victim's Riverview home around 6:30 a.m. on Saturday said people inside ignored his efforts to get them to open the front door. He forced his way inside when he heard Devbir's 33-year-old wife screaming for someone to save her and her child. The deputy forced the door open and was immediately confronted by the victim's husband Devbir Kalsi who attempted to push the door closed, according to the incident report. The deputy said he was arresting the husband when he was confronted by the man's father and mother. As the officer dealt with the parents, additional deputies arrived. The young wife was described as badly beaten and bruised over her entire body. (HuffPost is not naming her because she is a suspected victim of domestic violence.) Based on her bruises, the woman is believed to have been physically assaulted for an extended period of time, authorities said. They said the child, a 1-year-old according to the Tampa Bay Times, was unharmed. Devbir Kalsi's parents flew to Florida from Punjab state, India, to help counsel and discipline his wife after hearing that she was being disobedient, authorities alleged. At one point, the husband and his parents allegedly threatened his wife with a knife to her throat. They also allegedly took her phone away so she couldn't call 911. Devbir, Jasbir and Bhupinder Kalsi were booked into the Hillsborough County Jail and held without bond, the Tampa Bay Times reported. Devbir is facing charges of felony battery, false imprisonment, child abuse and denying access to 911. His father is facing charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, false imprisonment, child abuse and denying access to 911. His mother is looking at charges of battery, domestic violence and failure to report child abuse. The accused family members, who are foreign nationals, could be deported back to India, Fox 13 reported. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: Desktop.ini Dear Webby, This "desktop.ini icon" has been showing up on my desktop every time I sign onto my computer. I ignored it for weeks and weeks but it's getting on my nerves now! Can you tell me how to keep it from showing up every day? Thank you for always being there when we have a question! Ginger Dear Ginger It is a harmless, though rather klutzy way to show the desktop setup. Theoretically, the programmers of Windows could mess with the desktop by editing it. In actuality, it is a leftover from Windows 95, and nobody knows why. If you delete it, it will be generated again the next time you move icons around. There is no need for it to clutter up your desktop. So just hide the silly thing. Select the icon or file or folders you want to hide. Right-click and choose Properties. Click the General tab. Click the checkbox next to Hidden in the Attributes section. Click Apply That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby

Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Instant Wonton Noodles By 15mhhm15 [242 Posts, 700 Comments] While grocery shopping at Costco, these Chicken & Cilantro Mini Wontons were being demonstrated. I love the idea of how quick and versatile these wontons are for frozen food, pretty nutritious, and inexpensive. This 3 lb bag has about 150 pieces for $9.69. There was a promotion going on so it was $3.50 off, coming out to be $6.19. Prep Time: 2 minutes Cook Time: 8 minutes Total Time: 10 minutes Yield: 2 people Ingredients: 25 wontons 1/2 water 2 packages ramen noodles 2 stems cilantro 2 stems green onions 4 pieces ham 4 Tbsp hoisin sauce Steps: Dice green onions and cilantro. In a large pot, bring water to a boil. Add wontons and cook for 2-3 minutes. Remove wontons and set aside. Add ramen seasoning. I used garlic and pepper kind of ramen. Sprinkle some green onions in. Add the ramen noodles and cook for 3-4 minutes Optional: we had left over ham and a great way to use up ham is in soup. For finishing touches, add the wontons back into soup and the remaining green onions and add cilantro. Stir in some hoisin sauce for flavor and ready to enjoy! ____________________________________________________
Planting donut seeds
____________________________________________________ >From Carole Webby, I have to agree with Connie completely. You do more to help people just by keeping them happy. Thank you, Carole ___________________________________________________
The 2017 World Beard and Mustache Champions.
___________________________________________________ A man comes home chuckling, and says to his wife, "Get this, that ridiculous janitor of ours claims he's made love to every woman in this building except one." "Hmmmmm," said the wife, looking thoughtfully off into space. "Must be that stuck up Fran Beasly on the fourth floor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________ Although I had never met my maternal grandfather, I knew that he had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager while leafing through an old photograph album with my Grandmother, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together. "Grand," I asked, "how could you have dated and fallen in love a man almost half a foot shorter than you?" She turned to me, gave me a sensuous wink and said, "Honey, we fell in love sitting down, and by the time I stood up, it was way too late for him." ____________________________________________________
 Today, Sept 8, in 1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent European settlement in North America at present-day St. Augustine, FL. 1664 The Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, who then renamed it New York. 1866 The first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in Chicago, IL. The parents were James and Jennie Bushnell. 1892 An early version of "The Pledge of Allegiance" appeared in "The Youth's Companion." 1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by the Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor on September 19 giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 1935 U.S. Senator Huey P. Long, "The Kingfish" of Louisiana politics, was shot and mortally wounded. He died two days later. 1945 In Washington, DC, a bus equipped with a two-way radio was put into service for the first time. 1945 Bess Myerson of New York was crowned Miss America. She was the first Jewish contestant to win the title. 1951 A peace treaty with Japan was signed by 48 other nations in San Francisco, CA. 1960 NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL, was dedicated by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The facility had been activated in July earlier that year. 1966 NBC-TV aired the first episode of "Star Trek" entitled "The Man Trap". The show was canceled on September 2, 1969. 1974 U.S. President Ford granted an unconditional pardon to former U.S. President Nixon. 1975 In Boston, MA, public schools began their court-ordered citywide busing program amid scattered incidents of violence. 1997 America Online acquired CompuServe. 1999 Russia's Mission Control switched off the Mir space station's central computer and other systems to save energy during a planned six months of unmanned flights. 2015 British researchers announced that evidence of a larger version of Stonehenge had been located about 2 miles from the Stonehenge location. There were 90 buried stones that had been found by ground penetrating radar. 2017 Do smiled.

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