Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, May 23 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Armed robber, who injured elderly Lyft driver in South El Monte, arrested. ___________________________________________________ Today, May 23 in 1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was established. The organization's name was changed to Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920. ____________________________________________________ The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything. --- Walter Bagehot He who hesitates is a damned fool. -- Mae West NOW she tells me! ____________________________________________________ A quarrel broke out between a man and a woman while traveling for dinner at a restaurant. They quarreled almost all the way and just before they arrived, the wife said to the husband: "You are very lucky to have me, no other normal woman will want you!". The frustrated husband decided to prove to his wife that she was wrong and to find a women who would be interested in him already during dinner. The hostess who led them to the table smiled at the husband endlessly, laughed at his jokes and even offered to take his coat, so of course as soon as she left he turned to his wife with a triumphant look on his face. "Don't get too excited, it's just her job and she's married too." "How do you know?" "Because I saw a ring on her finger." A short time later the husband had to go to the bathroom, and on his way back he collided with the chair of a woman sitting alone at a nearby table. He apologized, ordered her a drink at his expense, talked to her for a few moments and sat down with his wife again. "Just so you know, she invited me to sit down for a drink with her!" "Don't get too excited, she's probably half blind." "How do you know?" "Because I saw her enter the restaurant with a walking stick." After a few minutes a waitress went to the table and as she took the order from the couple it was obvious that she was staring at her husband and flirting with him. "Here! You see?!" He said to his wife after the waitress left, "There are normal women who want me!" "Don't be an idiot, she has corona." "How do you know?" "Because if she's interested in you then she has no sense of taste!" ____________________________________________________ From Robin Send me as much as you have time to write, please! I have a lot of fun reading and sharing with my friends. I especially had fun with the joke about the 85 year old lady holding up her fist etc......close enough. Great. Thanks a bunch! Robin ____________________________________________________ Samir Djail Lake Lungeren, Switzerland ____________________________________________________ A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic up to that point anyway. They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse where certainly a pair of needle-nosed pliers would fix the problem. Just as they turned the corner to the clubhouse a German Shepherd ran up and threw a bucket of water on them. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dandre Lorenz Powell, 26, Los Angeles, California, USA Armed robber, who injured elderly Lyft driver in South El Monte, arrested. The man who was caught on camera robbing and assaulting an elderly Lyft driver in South El Monte has been arrested. The suspect, identified as 26-year-old Dandre Lorenz Powell, was arrested about a week after the brutal attack, law enforcement officials announced Thursday during a press conference. The Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department worked alongside with the US Marshals Fugitive Task Force to bring this wanted suspect into custody. They say Powell has an extensive criminal history and was on probation. Back on May 10, Lyft driver, Paul Lao, was attacked and robbed at gunpoint at a gas station near the intersection of Rosemead Boulevard and Rush Street. According to the victims daughter-in-law, Lao was refueling and washing his car when the suspect entered through the back door and pointed a gun at him demanding him to hand over his wallet. Video shared with FOX 11 showed the armed suspect waving a gun while talking with the victim. The suspect stole his cellphone and cash. Christine, the victims daughter-in-law says he had about $1,560 in his pocket at the time. After taking the money, the suspect then asked Lao to get out of his car and demanded the keys. But the driver explained the BMW is keyless and can only be driven by him. The suspect became angry and hit Lao on his face with the gun, then exited the car. The sheriffs department says numerous tips and calls came in about the suspect. Sheriff Alex Villanueva says they were able to solve this case with the help of the public. "Without this video we may have never been able to identify the suspect," said Captain of Temple Sheriff Station Mark Reyes. "Uber drivers, Lyft drivers, maybe it is a good idea get those dashcams, you saw how clear that was. Thats for your safety as well. It was able to get such good footage and very clear to be able to capture this person so quickly," stated South El Monte Mayor Gloria Olmos. Law enforcement officials say they locked down a location on Powell and set up surveillance. As he left an establishment officers were able to make a traffic stop and take him into custody. Officials say he was in possession of a handgun at the time of his arrest. Sheriff Alex Villanueva says under normal circumstances Powell is looking at his third strike, along with a gun enhancement. But the sheriff said under the current DA, George Gascn, Powell could be out in five years if convicted. The victim suffered a fractured nose. "He should be out in 25 to 30 years, not at the peak of his criminal career, this does not make us any safer," Villanueva stated. Powell is currently facing once count of 1st degree robbery, victimizing an elderly in a violent crime, two counts of felon in possession of a firearm, and one count of felon in possession of ammunition. Powell is currently being held on $2 million bail. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Carol RE: How to paste a URL Dear Webby love your letter i look forward to it every day. could you please tell me how to cut,copy & paste? i've tried but it never works for me. i must be doing something wrong. CAROL Dear Carol To copy something, highlight it, hold down CTRL and hit C To paste what you have copied, put the cursor where you want it pasted, hold down CTRL and hit V To cut something, highlight it, hold down CTRL and hit X To paste what you have cut, put the cursor where you want it pasted, hold down CTRL and hit V There are other ways to do it too, but these are the easiest methods. Have FUN! DearWebby Just think, if it weren't for women, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Re marriage: "My mother says to look for a man who is kind. So that's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and kinda handsome, and kinda rich." --- Carolyn, AGE 8 ___________________________________________ A man and his wife went to a psychiatrist to see if they could gain some relief for the man's belief that he was a refrigerator. After meeting with the husband, the psychiatrist assured the wife that there was nothing about which to be concerned. A bit perturbed the wife stated, "But doc at night when he sleeps with his mouth open the light keeps me awake!" ____________________________________________ An RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) officer stopped to help a stranded rider standing beside a stalled motorcycle in the Rockies just a bit west of here. It was quite cold for riding a bike at speed, and the rider was heavily dressed in a full face helmet, balaclava and snowmobile suit. In a shivering voice, the rider told the Mountie that the carburetor was frozen. "Well, pee on it," the Mountie said. "Can't," replied the rider. The helpful Mountie took out his own equipment and liberally hosed down the carburetor, and the bike soon fired up. A few days later, the local department received a thank you note from a father, grateful for the roadside assistance his young daughter had received from the RCMP. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, May 23 in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. 1533 Henry VIIIs marriage to Catherine of Aragon was declared null and void. 1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of the Reformation were thrown through a window. 1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after being convicted of murder and piracy. 1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had invented bifocals. 1827 The first nursery school in the U.S. was established in New York City. 1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was established. The organization's name was changed to Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920. 1900 Civil War hero Sgt. William H. Carney became the first African American to receive the Medal of Honor, 37 years after the Battle of Fort Wagner. 1901 American forces captured Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo. 1908 Part of the Great White Fleet arrived in Puget Sound, WA. 1915 During World War I, Italy chnaged sides and joined the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary. 1922 "Daylight Saving Time" was debated in the first debate ever to be heard on radio in Washington, DC. 1926 The French captured the Moroccan Rif capital. 1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe. 1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while imprisoned by the Allied forces. 1949 The Republic of West Germany was established. 1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann in Argentina. 1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the Central Bank and took 200 hostages. 1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union. 1992 In Lisbon, Portugal , the U.S. and four former Soviet republics signed an agreement to implement the START missile reduction treaty that had been agreed to by the Soviet Union before it was dissolved. 1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was demolished. 1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern Ireland approved a peace accord. 1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 2013 Google acquired Makani Power for use for its Project Wing. 2016 U.S. President Obama announced that the United States would end its ban of lethal military equipment sales to Vietnam. The restrictions had been in place since the end of the Vietnam War. 2021 Do smiled. |
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