Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, October 21 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Explosive devices, weapon arsenal found in Florida child porn raid  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 21 in 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. See More of what happened on this day in history.
America is a mistake, a giant mistake. --- Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939) ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put an ice cube into the cup so that I could drink the coffee soon. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two guys had businesses on the same street. One had customers coming and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally, Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE." Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since he seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in my window for almost eight years. If I took it down, I would go out of business." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress, "It`s close to the end of my shift and I don`t want to make another pot of coffee. I thought you wanted more coffee." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Randall Drake, 24, Dunedin, Florida Explosive devices, weapon arsenal found in Florida child porn raid Authorities say they found three explosive devices and other weapons during a child porn raid at a Florida home. A Pinellas County Sheriff's Office news release says 24- year-old Randall Drake was arrested Wednesday and charged with two counts of unlawfully making, possessing or attempting to make a destructive device. Authorities say detectives found a locked closet while serving a warrant at Drake's Dunedin home, where he lives with his parents. Besides finding tubes filled with gunpowder and wicks, investigators also found aerial photos of two Hillsborough County schools and a water treatment facility. Deputies removed 20 guns, 15 knives, a baseball bat with protruding nails, a crossbow, brass knuckles and gun powder from the home. Drake was free on $20,000 bail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brenda Re: Wireless Connectivity Dear Webby, I am used to using the wireless modem in my laptop to connect to hotels where I am staying, and am fairly comfortable with the procedure. However, now and then it happens that I connect to the hotel's router, and see good signal strength, but can't get anywhere. What do you recommend in those cases? Brenda Dear Brenda Get your money back and go to a better hotel. They gambled on a 4 station home type router being enough, and you were #5. They rarely admit that and that type of hotel usually tries to blame it on your computer. It is NOT your computer's fault, and not your settings. Do not let them talk you into changing your settings, and don't let them waste your time, while they hope that somebody will log off. Just demand your money back and go to a better hotel. Without messing with your settings, you can usually get better connectivity from the parking lot of a Holiday Inn, than from the lobby of for example a Baymont Inn. When enough people smarten up and demand their money back, they will eventually get proper equipment and stop trying to blame you. Have FUN! DearWebby

A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous and about ten minutes into the talk his mind went blank. He remembered some advice they gave him in seminary school when a situation like this arose -- repeat your last point. Often this will help you remember what should come next. So he gave it a try. "Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. So he tried again, "Behold, I come quickly!" Still nothing. He tried once more, this time with so much vehemence that he tripped over his microphone wire and fell off the stage, right into the lap of a little old lady in the front row. The young preacher was very embarrassed and tried to apolo- gize, but the woman replied, "That's all right, young man. It was my fault...I should have gotten ready for you. After all, you did tell me three times you were coming!"
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Say "No" to Rent-To-Own Avoid Rent-To-Own stores like the plague. They offer horrible financing which will result in your having to pay at least double for any products you buy. You are much better served by getting a loan from a credit union, using a low interest credit card, or better yet, depositing money into savings account every month so you can buy the product outright. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ From Phil Friday, we had a tornado drill. We're underneath a parking garage and there's a PA announcement "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!" (Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER) __________________________________________________
A rare thread called "sea silk.
___________________________________________________ A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Saturday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home. The doctor told him to soak it in hot water. He tried soaking it in hot water but the leg became more swollen and painful. His maid saw him limping and said, "I don't know, I'm only a maid, but I always thought it was better to use cold water, not hot, for swelling." He tried switching to cold water, and the swelling rapidly subsided. Monday he called his Dr. again to complain. "Say Doc, what kind of a doctor are you anyway? You told me to soak my leg in hot water, and it got worse. My maid told me to use cold water and it got better." "Really?!?" answered the doctor, "I don't understand it; MY maid said hot water."
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, Sarah would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home". Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. "Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath." "Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, they'll go to Walmart and buy curtains." ____________________________________________________
 Today, October 21, in 1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was launched in Boston's harbor. 1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 1849 The first tattooed man, James F. O'Connell, was put on exhibition at the Franklin Theatre in New York City, NY. 1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War I near Nancy, France. 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. 1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the Electric Show in New York City, NY. 1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 1927 In New York City, construction began on the George Washington Bridge. 1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was captured by U.S. troops. 1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York. The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in opposition to the Vietnam War. 1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there and to kick out the Cubans. 1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats. 1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 1998 Cancer specialist Dr. Jane Henney became the FDA's first female commissioner. 2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial birth abortions. 2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program. 2017 Do smiled.

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