Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, February 22 Have FUN! DearWebby 7300 Boneheads would protest quite indignantly if I gave a Bonehead Award to these Bimbo Malfunctions. Todays Bonehead Award: Knoxville car theft suspect falls out of tree trying to resist arrest Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 22 in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner.  See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. --- Bob Edwards I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. --- Kati Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they would not have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled down on the handle and haven't seen them since. It rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket for you. The family is fine. Your father, he has a lovely job. He has about 500 men under him. He is cutting grass down at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet whether it's a girl or a boy so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle. We got a bill from the funeral home the other day. They said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. Billy Bob was driving and Willie and Joe was in the back. Billy Bob got out, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, it seems they couldn't get the tailgate down. Your Uncle Leroy fell in a whiskey vat at the place where he worked. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off before he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Not much more news this time. Nothin' much happened. Write more often. Love, Mom P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed. ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ I know the election is OVER, but this joke is just too good to ignore: Donald and Hillary In a Bakery Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three donuts and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, See how clever I am? The owner didnt see anything and I dont even need to lie. I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, Thats the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result. Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, Give me a donut and I will show you a magic trick. Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a donut. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third donut and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, What did you do with the donuts? Trump replies, Look in Hillarys left pocket. ______________________________________________________   >From FB ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jacob Chosie, 34, Knoxville, Tennessee  Knoxville car theft suspect falls out of tree trying to resist arrest  A car theft suspect from Tennessee was injured when he fell from a tree while trying to elude the Lake City Police, a report said. A police report released by Lake City authorities said that Jacob Chosie, 34, of Knoxville, Tenn., climbed a tree on Feb. 19. Chosie was attempting to escape on foot after reports of an armed man that was acting suspiciously near a local motel. The call triggered a four-hour chase in which several citizens reported than an unnamed man tried to gain access to multiple homes. One homeowner spotted Chosie on her home security camera and notified the police, leading to the location of the suspect. When cornered, police said, Chosie climbed a tall tree nearby. Other officers climbed nearby trees and attempted to talk the suspect down -- to no avail. When police tried to physically apprehend Chosie, he fell to the base of the tree, sustaining multiple fractures. Police are still looking for the gun Chosie is reported to have carried and are asking citizens to call them if they see it. Chosie is charged with burglary, trespassing, car theft and resisting arrest.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: How to type extended characters in WORD Dear Webby The hints that you gave about inserting the letter pi into a Microsoft Word document works well for a limited number of needed pi characters. If she is doing something that requires many pi characters, a good way to handle it is to set up an autotext entry (perhaps named pi) and then all she has to do is type pi and press the F3 key. It requires a space before the pi and inserts a space after but they are easily edited out. One advantage of autotext is that you can create an entry for each special character you require (the entire Greek alphabet for example) and then you do not have to remember the codes. It is very nice of you to help your readers with all their computer questions. Richard  Dear Richard Your solution is even better! Have FUN! DearWebby    A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reace. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevo- lently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy turns and yells, "NOW WE RUN!" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Super Tasty Cheese Muffins By Judy Pariser S. [244 Posts, 1,032 Comments] Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Total Time: 30 minutes Yield: 12 Muffins Source: Annette and Steve Economides Ingredients: 3/4 cup whole wheat flour 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp salt 1 Tbsp baking powder 3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese (I used finely shredded) 2 eggs 1/4 cup oil 1 cup milk 1/4 cup honey Parmesan cheese for sprinkling on top Steps: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Grease the muffin tins. Muffin liners are not recommended for this recipe. Stir together both flours, cheese, salt and baking powder in a large bowl. In another bowl, mix the eggs, oil, milk and honey. Make a well in the bowl with the flour. Pour in the wet ingredients and combine. The batter will be lumpy. Fill the muffin tins 3/4 full. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on the top of the muffins. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown.  
  
Catching a baby spider in Australia
 ____________________________________________________ Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?" ___________________________________________________  
  
 Interesting people. Win compilation best of 2016. 
 "Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal, but boys and girls are not born the same. 1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose. 2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you are driving there. 3. Boys' rooms are always messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess. 4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. Then she will hit a boy with it. A baby boy will pick up a stick and start drumming. 5. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public. 6. If girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches. 7. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt. 8. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make sounds like a truck. 9. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the TV during a movie they have already seen. 10. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys. 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today on February 22 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New York City for the Far East. 1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The next morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 21 years before the Congress would vote on funds again. Work was continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge of the project. 1859 U.S. President Buchanan approved the Act of February 22, 1859, which incorporated the Washington National Monument Society "for the purpose of completing the erection now in progress of a great National Monument to the memory of Washington at the seat of the Federal Government." 1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished slavery. 1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 5 and 10-cent store. 1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated in Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889. 1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit opened in Emeryville, CA. 1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish liaison offices. 1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and his wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. Ames was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife received a 5-year prison term. 1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 2002 In the Philippines, an MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming company Vudu, Inc. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 

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