Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, October 29 _____________________________________________________ From Barb: I ran across a site for people who want the old Outlook Express back. I know I really liked the old OE and never had any problems with it but I didn't use it as a warehouse like I do gmail. Some of your readers might like to know about this. I downloaded it just for the heck of it to see what it was like and I think there are a lot of people who would like to go back to the old familiar email format. Here is the web address for it: https://www.oeclassic.com/ Barb _____________________________________________________ Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman beat up man who refused to sexually assault her.  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 29 in 1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later known as Kemal Ataturk. He passed a law forcing all prostitutes to wear a burka. Since then Turkish women dont wear burkas. See More of what happened on this day in history.
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 ______________________________________________________ In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) My Karma ran over your dogma. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ From Barry: I have a friend who is president of his homeowner's association in Washington, State. They are having a terrible problem with trash on the side of the road that is around his association's homes. The reason according to Wallace (my friend) is, there is being built just next to them, six new homes..... big ones! Wallace said the trash is coming from the Mexican work crews working at the construction sites. (McDonald Bags, Burger King trash, etc). He has pleaded with the site supervisors and the general contractor to no avail, called the City, County, and the Police and got no help. So, guess what some people in his community did! They organized about twenty folks, named themselves The "Inner Neighborhood Services" to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash themselves. It is what they wore and did while picking up the trash that is HILARIOUS !!!!!!!! They got some navy blue baseball caps and had the initials "INS" in gold put on the caps. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, however, to understand what they hoped people would think it means. Well the day after their first pick up detail, with them wearing their caps and SOME CARRYING CAMERAS, 46 out of 68 of the construction workers did not show up for work the next morning, and haven't come back yet!!!!! It has been ten days. Now the General Contractor, I understand is madder than hell, but can't say anything publicly, because he could be busted for hiring "illegal aliens". Wallace and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating INS folks, because they have it on their home owner association records the vote to form the new committee within their association, plus they informed the INS about what they were doing in advance, and the INS said basically according to Wallace: "Have at it"! _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Bob and Terri had just gotten back from the honeymoon, and were having their first fight, and it was a big one. No matter what Bob tried to say or do, Terri refused to compromise, or even listen. He started growing exasperated. After a while, Bob said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." Terri replied, "I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding." ______________________________________________________   Slangkop Lighthouse, Kommetjie, South Africa. _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 30, New Port Richey, Florida  Florida woman beat up man who refused to sexually assault her.  A Florida woman faces battery charges after deputies say she hit a man who did not want to have sex with her. Deputies responded to Rebecca Lynn Phelps' home just before 2am on Thursday. Deputies say Phelps was outside her home drinking with the victim. She began to get angry when the victim refused to have sex with her. Phelps then allegedly began to scream and hit the victim, leaving red marks on his face. Deputies say the victim yelled for Phelps to stop or he would call 911. Phelps then scratched the victim's arm, causing him to bleed. Deputies say a witness inside the home did not see what happened, but heard the victim yelling at Phelps Stop hitting me and then the witness heard a smack. Phelps was arrested on one count of battery.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Rob A Re: Hidden Pictures in WORD Dear Webby, I understand from my wife that you answer computer problem questions. She speaks highly of you so I thought I would pose a question that I need answered in the worst way... About a week ago I was putting together a letter in Microsoft Word using many pictures. I had pasted in 9 pictures when I clicked on an item in one of the tool bars and instantly the pictures disappeared and in their place were 9 rectangular outlines the size of each picture. Unfortunately, I cannot recall what I clicked on nor exactly where it is located. I have hunted and hunted through the tools to try to restore the pictures but to no avail. Since then I have tried pasting in new pictures on a new Word "sheet" and guess what I get...a rectangle box instead. The box is composed of four connected perpendicular lines and when I click in the center of the "box" the box disappears and I get eight black dots in it's place. I believe what I originally clicked on was an on/off switch of some kind and all that needs to happen is to click on it again to correct the situation. If you know how to restore my pictures or know of someone who does, please tell me. {I have no desire to contact Microsoft because of their high and mighty attitude.} Thanks for your willingness to help others, Bob A  Dear Rob Wire frames or placeholders are rarely used while writing, but really speed up scrolling while proofreading books or searching for something in a lengthy e-book or article. To turn the wire frames off and reveal pictures, Click on TOOLS Options View take the checkmark off "Picture Placeholders" hit OK Your pictures will show again. Have FUN! DearWebby    
 From Mary: WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid, And bring so much happiness ... just as they did. I want to pay back all the joy they've provided. Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited! When I'm an old lady and live with my kids. I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues, And I'll bounce on the furniture, wearing my shoes. I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout! When I'm an old lady and live with my kids. When they're on the phone and just out of reach, I'll get into things like sugar and bleach. Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head, When I'm an old lady and live with my kids. When they cook dinner and call me to eat, I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat, I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, And when they get angry... I'll run ... if I'm able! When I'm an old lady and live with my kids. I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click, I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick. I'll take off my socks and throw one away, And play in the mud until the end of the day! When I'm an old lady and live with my kids. And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes. My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!" 
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 Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Tic Tac Containers  Save Tic Tac and other breath mint containers and use them to store small items in the shop. Tic Tac containers are especially handy because they are clear so you can see what's inside them. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________  A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother- in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "That stupid lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." __________________________________________________  
 
HOT TEA 
 Siegfried, the most insane amongst all of my friends, is a shrink. He has discovered a great way to get his patients to talk freely-- he puts a cell phone in their hands. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 From Stanilaus: In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In England they say "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your mistress is?" In Poland they say Its 11 o'clock. Do you know what time it is?" ____________________________________________________  
 Today, October 29, in 1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against King James I. 1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an independent commonwealth. 1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the founder of Pennsylvania. 1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was electrocuted. 1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later known as Kemal Ataturk. He passed a law forcing all prostitutes to wear a burka. Since then Turkish women dont wear burkas. 1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall Street stock market. 1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of $12.50 each. 1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal Crisis. 1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-circuit television. 1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all school segregation. 1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or marital status 1985 It was announced that Maj. Gen. Samuel K. Doe had won the first multiparty election in Liberia. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its occupation of Kuwait. 1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an asteroid (Gaspra). 1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power. 1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and Drug Administration. 1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the African National Congress. 1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first American to orbit the Earth. 1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2 million at a New York auction. 2001 KTLA broadcast the first coast to coast HDTV network telecast. 2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

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