Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, August 22 Interesting how the fires know! 600 + Fires out of control in Socialist BC, 2 out of control in Free Enterprise Alberta. The green dots are fires, that are contained and controlled, yellow are fires in the rocks that can't go anywhere and will fizzle on their own. Gray is smokey area.  Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Voyeurism charges following incident involving 12-year-old girl  ______________________________________________________ Today, August 22 in 1865 A patent for liquid soap was issued to William Sheppard. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 It's never just a game when you're winning. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there. --- E. H. Gombrich (1909 - ) Time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted. --- John Lennon 1940-1980 ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >From Ed My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I didn't realize how much longer it takes to get here within the speed limit.." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jorge Leon-Alfaro, 36, Salt Lake City, Utah  Voyeurism charges following incident involving 12-year-old girl  Salt Lake City police arrested 36-year-old Jorge Leon- Alfaro after witnesses said he tried to record the girl from an adjacent dressing room stall inside the Rue 21 store at Brickyard Plaza on Saturday, according to KSTU. The girl's mother tracked the man down and recorded her comments toward him as she waited for police to arrive. This right here is what a predator looks like, says the woman in the video. I caught this guy underneath my daughter's stall while she was changing at Rue 21. The emotional video uploaded to Facebook has been viewed more than four million times. Not today, buddy. Not today says the woman in the video. I'm going to make sure your face gets out, so that you're not in any more stalls, looking under little girls dressing. Salt Lake City police say they had witness statements and enough evidence to make an arrest. People are aware of what's going on and paying attention, said Detective Greg Wilking of the Salt Lake City Police Department. Other people were paying attention, too and saw similar things that concerned them and that led to his arrest. Leon-Alfaro faces felony charges of voyeurism of a child under 14. Im going to be at every, single court date, says the woman in the video. 
  From: Frank Re: IE reverting to wrong font size  Dear Webby Why do you state to 'stack upside down'? Secondly, Every time I open MS Internet Explorer I must change the text size from small to medium. How do I save the medium text setting to preclude changing it daily. Thank you Frank   1) The smarter coolers are a bit wider at the open end, so that you can stack them inside each other. Especially for desert or water trips, where you want to keep the dust or the water out of your stuff, coolers are very handy suitcases. Before you know it, you have accumulated a big pile of them. If you stack them upside down in the off-season, dew and dust won't accumulate in them. 2) IE will take whatever font size the program used before it had been using, or the last program before it that had a font change setter built in. Just change the overall font size through Desktop, Properties, Appearance, Settings, Advanced, DPI settings. Experiment to find the ideal font size for your eyes and monitor distance, without having to change the IE setting. Chances are that the program, which had been leaving it's font settings for IE to trip over, will now appear to have larger fonts, but they will be easier to cope with than too small fonts in IE. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!" Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill. "I'm sorry, Sir. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy. "But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned. "I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it." 
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 You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge. "Yes," answered the suspect. "And what did you steal?" "A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject. "One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in four times!" "Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect. "The first three times my wife didn't like the color." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Eliminate Food Waste Make sure to freeze leftovers if you don't think you will be able to eat them soon. Don't buy more dairy, fruits or vegetables than you can eat before they go bad. When you buy meat, always have a plan for it. Return foods to the grocery store that spoil before their expiration date.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
Amazing Images: The Best Science Photos of the Week 
 ___________________________________________________ One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his face over by the holy water," said the boy. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker are sitting in a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but the steak on the menu is not available, as there's a shortage." The Texan asks, "What's a shortage?" The Russian asks, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker asks, "What the bloody hell does 'excuse me' mean?" ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 22 in 1485 The War of the Roses ended with the death of England's King Richard III. He was killed in the Battle of Bosworth Field. His successor was Henry V II. 1567 The "Council of Blood" was established by the Duke of Alba. This was the beginning of his reign of terror in the Netherlands. 1642 The English Civil War began when Charles I called Parliament and its soldiers traitors. 1770 Australia was claimed under the British crown when Captain James Cook landed there. 1775 The American colonies were proclaimed to be in a state of open rebellion by England's King George III. 1846 The U.S. annexed New Mexico. 1851 The schooner America outraced the Aurora off the English coast to win a trophy that became known as the America's Cup. 1865 A patent for liquid soap was issued to William Sheppard. 1902 In Hartford, CT, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first president of the United States to ride in an automobile. 1906 The Victor Talking Machine Company of Camden, NJ began to manufacture the Victrola. The hand-cranked unit, with horn cabinet, sold for $200. 1910 Japan formally annexed Korea. 1911 It was announced that Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" had been stolen from the Louvre Museum in Paris. The painting reappeared two years later in Italy. 1932 The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) began its first TV broadcast in England. 1941 Nazi troops reached the outskirts of Leningrad during World War II. 1951 75,052 people watched the Harlem Globetrotters perform. It was the largest crowd to see a basketball game. 1959 Stephen Rockefeller married Anne Marie Rasmussen. Anne had once been a maid for the powerful and wealthy Rockefeller family. 1972 Due to its racial policies, Rhodesia was asked to withdraw from the 20th Olympic Summer Games. 1973 Henry Kissinger was named Secretary of State by U.S. President Nixon. Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in the same year. 1984 The last Volkswagen Rabbit rolled off the assembly line in New Stanton, PA. 1986 Kerr-McGee Corp. agreed to pay the estate of the late Karen Silkwood $1.38 million to settle a 10-year-old nuclear contamination lawsuit. 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed an order for calling reservists to aid in the build up of troops in the Persian Gulf. 1990 The U.S. State Department announced that the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait would not be closed under President Saddam Hussein's demand. 1990 Angry smokers blocked a street in Moscow to protest the summer-long cigarette shortage. 1991 It was announced by Yugoslavia that a truce ordered on August 7th with Croatia had collapsed. 1991 Mikhail S. Gorbachev returned to Moscow after the collapse of the hard-liners' coup. On the same day he purged the men that had tried to oust him. 1992 In Rostock, Germany, neo-Nazi violence broke out against foreigners. 1996 U.S. President Clinton signed legislation that ended guaranteed cash payments to the poor and demanded work from recipients. 2018 Do smiled. 
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