Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, April 21 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 21 in 753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Iowa woman brought meth to jail when turning herself in for outstanding warrants  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it. --- Doris Day (1924 - ) Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. -- Lou Holtz _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ What Is Easter? Three cheerleaders died in an accident trying to jump the Grand Canyon. They are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is - "What is Easter"? The first cheerleader replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when we all get together, eat turkey and are thankful." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St.Peter. Then he turns to the second cheerleader, and asks her the same question - "What is Easter?" The second cheerleader replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second cheerleader, bangs his head on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place; she is not welcome in Heaven. He then peers over his glasses at the third cheerleader and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is?" The third cheerleader smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then the third cheerleader continues ... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of hockey!" ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________    An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Debra Ann Sly, 56, Des Moines, Iowa  Iowa woman brought meth to jail when turning herself in for outstanding warrants  A Polk County sheriff's deputy arrested a Des Moines woman last week for bringing drugs into a jail. A bag of methamphetamine fell out of the pants Debra Ann Sly, 56, was wearing when she turned herself into the Polk County Jail for outstanding warrants last week, earning her a new charge, according to documents on Iowa Courts Online. Sly, of the 800 block of 18th Street in Des Moines, reported to the jail last week because a warrant has been issued for her arrest March 27. She'd failed to appear for a disposition bond hearing after violating a no-contact order, court records show. Sly apparently thought she'd do the right thing and turn herself in, but it ended up going horribly wrong, sheriff's deputies allege. "During the intake process, a small clear plastic baggy containing a white crystalline substance fell out of her pants onto the booking room floor," according to a criminal complaint filed by a Polk County sheriff's deputy. "The approximate weight of the substance was .4 grams, and the substance field-tested positive for methamphetamine." Sly was charged with possession of a controlled substance, a serious misdemeanor, for the mishap. Her attorney, Jason Calstrom, declined to comment Her violation of a no-contact order stemmed from an assault at the apartment building she lived in. Sly pleaded guilty to third-degree harassment and disorderly conduct in August 2018 after being charged with two counts of assault while displaying a deadly weapon, court records show. After requesting maintenance personnel come work on her apartment, court records show Sly became angry with one of the workers who showed up, grabbing a knife and telling the woman, "You aren't entering my property." The employees left and called police, and Sly was arrested. Since then, she has twice been found guilty of defying that no- contact order. The second offense came in February, when Sly told the woman that she would "stomp her face," according to court documents. A disposition hearing for that second violation was scheduled for March 27. When Sly didn't show, a warrant was issued for her arrest. She was caught with the meth while turning herself in for that charge. Sly will learn her punishment for disobeying the order Wednesday, court records show. Sly will be arraigned on the drug charge May 21.  
 From: Rose Re: IE Script Error  Dear DearWebby How do I get rid of the "Internet Explorer Script Error" that keeps popping up on my screen? It's a nuisance!!! Thank you for all the help you've given before. What would we do without you? Rose  Dear Rose Just go into Tools, Internet Options, Advanced, and turn Script Debugging and Show Errors off. That debugging is intended for the designers of those pages, and they obviously didn't check for errors. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Hair cut Women's version: Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute! Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much tuck with this stuff I think. Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable, and you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier......... Men's version: Man1: Got your ears lowered? Man2: Yeah. That time of the year. 
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 Grampa was telling his youngest grandson abuot his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals." His grandson, Oleander, said, "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then to know the whole horrible truth!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Find Out What Your Wear A good way to find out what you wear is to take all the hangers and turn them around so they are facing the wrong way. As you wear, wash and return clothing back to the closet, hang the clothing the correct way. After a month or two, any clothing still facing the wrong direction should probably be stored or donated. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
This is a story and a video about an amazing woman who was born in the wilds of Siberia and lived there all her life, most of it by herself. 
 ___________________________________________________ A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." ___________________________________________________ Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the morning service. "I missed you at service this morning," the pastor says. "Well, Reverend", the farmer says, "I had some hay to put up before it rained. I figured it was better to sit on a dry bale of hay thinking about God, than to sit in church thinking about hay getting ruined." ___________________________________________________  
 Today April 21 in 753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome. 43 BC Marcus Antonius was defeated by Octavian near Modena, Italy. 1526 Mongol Emperor Babur annihilated the Indian Army of Ibrahim Lodi. 1649 The Maryland Toleration Act was passed, allowing all freedom of worship. 1689 William III and Mary II were crowned joint king and queen of England, Scotland and Ireland. 1836 General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto. This battle decided the independence of Texas. 1856 The Mississippi River was crossed by a rail train for the first time (between Davenport, IA, and Rock Island, IL). 1862 The U.S. Congress established the U.S. Mint in Denver, CO. 1892 The first Buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park. 1895 Woodville Latham and his sons demonstrated their Panopticon. It was the first movie projector developed in the United States. 1898 The Spanish-American War began. 1914 U.S. Marines occupied Vera Cruz, Mexico. The troops stayed for six months. 1916 Bill Carlisle, the infamous 'last train robber,' robbed a train in Hanna, WY. 1918 German fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, "The Red Baron," was shot down and killed during World War I. 1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt announced that several Doolittle pilots had been executed by the Japanese. 1959 Alf Dean caught a 16-foot, 10-inch white shark that weighed 2,664 pounds. At the time it was the largest catch with a rod and reel. 1960 Brasilia became the capital of Brazil. 1961 The French army revolted in Algeria. 1967 Svetlana Alliluyeva (Svetlana Stalina) defected in New York City. She was the daughter of Joseph Stalin. 1967 In Athens, Army colonels took over the government and installed Constantine Kollias as premier. 1972 Apollo 16 astronauts John Young and Charles Duke explored the surface of the moon. 1975 South Vietnam president, Nguyen Van Thieu, resigned, condemning the United States. 1984 In France, it was announced that doctors had found virus believed to cause AIDS. 1985 Manuel Ortega proposed a cease-fire for Nicaragua. 1992 Robert Alton Harris became the first person executed by the state of California in 25 years. He was put to death for the 1978 murder of two teen-age boys. 1994 Jackie Parker became the first woman to qualify to fly an F-16 combat plane. 1998 Astronomers announced in Washington that they had discovered possible signs of a new family of planets orbiting a star 220 light-years away. 2000 In Sinking Spring, PA, a man chased his estranged girlfriend through town and then forced her car into the path of an oncoming train. The woman and her 3 passengers were killed. 2000 North Carolina researchers announced that the heart of a 66 million-year-old dinosaur was more like a mammal or bird than that of a reptile. 2000 The 1998 Children's Online Privacy Protection Act went into effect. 2002 In the city of General Santos, 14 people were killed and 69 were injured in a bomb attack on a department store. The attack was blamed on Muslim extremists. 2003 North and South Korea agreed to hold Cabinet-level talks the following week. 2009 UNESCO launched The World Digital Library. The World Digital Library (WDL) is an international digital library operated by UNESCO and the United States Library of Congress. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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