Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, October 17 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Murder suspect, girlfriend arrested at Clayton Co. gas station  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 17 in 1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. --- Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this story: A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds later, he pulled out his head and look in the mirror, and saw the best haircut of his life. "Would wonders never cease! This futuristic stuff is amazing," he thought. Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures $10." "Why not?" he thought. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign that read, "Machine provides a service men need when away from their wives, 50 Cents." "Oh, man.... do I ever need that!" He looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, he let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, he was able to withdraw his member which now had a button neatly sewn on the end. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this story: Two guys from Daniels County are a sittin' in a boat at Fort Peck, Montana, fishing and suckin' down beer when all of a sudden Dale says, "Ya know, I think I'm gonna divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months." Earl sips his beer for a moment and says, "If I were you, I would think it over very carefully - women like that are darn hard to find." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Corey Humes, Chassity Thomas, Clayton County, Georgia  Murder suspect, girlfriend arrested at Clayton Co. gas station  Authorities arrested a murder suspect Thursday at a gas station in Clayton County. The Clayton County Sheriff's Office said Corey Humes was found sitting in a car in the parking lot outside the QT on Upper Riverdale. Humes is accused of shooting and killing a man after a drug deal went bad in Houston County. "Humes did not stand a chance," the Clayton County Sheriff's Office said in a news release on Friday. "Deputies surrounded him so quickly that he did not have time to reach for the 32 caliber Beretta that his girlfriend Chassity Thomas was sitting on."  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Julie Re: Image stabilizer Dear Webby, I have seen some cameras advertised that claim to have an image stabilizer. Does that really work, or is it just hype? If it DOES work, how does it work? I have always been told, even by you, that for long zoom shots there is no substitute for a sturdy tripod. Julie   Dear Julie An image stabilizer takes an average of a few microseconds of jittering around and electronically locks that for a second or two. It works great for long distance landscape pictures at high zoom, but is not so good for fast action shots. If you, for example want to take pictures of a fast basketball game, get in closer, use less zoom, and turn the image stabilizer off. Use it for slow moving animals like alligators, turn it off for butterflies and humming birds. Have FUN! DearWebby    
 This is an ancient classic: A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail." The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite" 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paperclip Bookmark A paper clip works well as a bookmark, especially if you are carrying books in a bag or backpack. The paperclip won't fall out the way a loose bookmark can. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Evolution of Music 
 ____________________________________________________  A burglar needing money to pay his income taxes decided to burgle the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the handle." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "Can't trust nobody no more!" __________________________________________________  
 
This street artist is painting fake shadows and making people do double takes. 
 ___________________________________________________ At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!" ___________________________________________________ Listening to a young Yuppie couple argue as they waited for their prescriptions at least helped me pass the time. When their meds were finally ready, they paid and walked away. The druggist stood there and shook his head. I asked, "What's with them ?" He sighed and replied, "They're incompatible. He's on Xanax and she's on Prozac." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "do you have any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my novel." "Very impressive," he commented, "but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours." Mrs. Smith explained brightly, "Oh, I wrote them during office hours. OOOPS!" ____________________________________________________  
 Today, October 17, in 1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and deserted young children" in Londond, England. 1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was released at newsstands. 1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving Germany. 1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war. 1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las Vegas. 2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the record holder for career victories. 2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676- foot-tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for business in 2004. 2003 In northwest England, the Carnforth railway station reopened as a heritage center. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

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