Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Due to a total lack of Gullible Warming, we had snow today. Obama says it's trump's fault. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Burglar drank 24 bottles of beer and Jgermeister and tried to escape on bike  ______________________________________________________ Today, September 14 in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. One way to stop looting! More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon. --- Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) ----------or think they do ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The following was overheard at a recent high society party... "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A Statistician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist says: "The measurement wasn't accurate." The Biologist concludes: "They have reproduced." The Statistician says: "Now if another person enters the house, it'll be empty again." ______________________________________________________   Rugby hurts! _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband than she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jy Kennedy, 24, Weoley Castle, Birmingham England  Burglar drank 24 bottles of beer and Jgermeister and tried to escape on bike  A burglar downed 24 bottles of beer and a bottle of Jgermeister before he tried to escape from police on a bicycle. Jy Kennedy, who had also taken cocaine, was chased by police for a mile as he made a number of U-turns to shake them off. The 24-year-old eventually crashed into a police car and fell off, ending the chase on August 5 in Weoley Castle, Birmingham. Kennedy, of Pershore Road, Selly Oak, who had previously admitted burglary and theft, and had asked for three other burglaries to be taken into consideration, was jailed for two years. The chase began after two officers heard a burglar alarm go off in Bournville Lane and spotted Kennedy cycling along clutching a flat screen TV. Mark Phillips, prosecuting at Birmingham Crown Court, said: It was quite clear the defendant was drunk. He tried to run but did not get very far and was arrested. When police searched his home they found a number of items he had taken from the same address earlier laid out on his bed including a jewellery box, a camcorder and a watch. When quizzed, Kennedy said he had been recently released from prison and was bored. Mr Phillips said: 'He took cocaine at about 6am and bought and drank 24 bottles of Budweiser followed by a bottle of Jagermeister. 'It was in that state he had gone out to burgle.' Judge Roderick Henderson said it was clear Kennedy had visited the address more than once and that he had taken some items of sentimental value which had never been recovered. Delroy Henry, defending, said Kennedy had shown a lack of maturity and still had a lot of growing up to do. He was soon to be a father and would miss his first born's birth if sent to jail.  
From: Barbara C Re: Infected Mac  Hello Webby, I have had a Mac lap top for less than 2 years. A while back I allowed who I thought was An Amazon rep into the computer. When I realized the mistake the link was severed. Soooo I had Best Buy take a look because I wasn t sure if it had been compromised. They added Webroot. Now it buffers and is slow to take commands. Is that protection really neccesary since I thought Mac was set up to be protected against attack. Can I just stop that program? Some help would be a appreciated. Thanks Barbara  Dear Barbara I have not touched a Mac since the days, when you were still jail bait. However, I know that the concept that Macs are protected is just BS and advertising. As you found out, they are not protected. On the Humor Letter, you see the links for Malwarebytes. Get that to clean up your Mac and to protect it. Then you can UNinstall that webroot. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about about him?" 
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 > Uncle Chuk Life has taught me that no matter how dark it seems, there's always a light on at the Motel 6. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Socks Together Attach pairs of socks with a safety pin before putting them in the washer. Even better, pin them together when you take them off and toss them in the dirty clothes hamper. The best safety pins are diaper safety pins which are less likely to damage other clothing.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
Wildly beautiful photos of Flamingos from the air. 
 ___________________________________________________ Rosh Hashanah is a time for introspection, and purifying one's soul, In conjunction with this is the custom of Tashlich, where people take crumbs and throw them into a river or other body of water to symbolize throwing away one's sins and starting the new year fresh. However, times have changed... Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. Instead, consider these options this year for Rosh Hashanah: For ordinary sins, use White Bread For exotic sins, French Bread For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel For complex sins, Multi-grain For twisted sins, Pretzels For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes For sins of indecision, Waffles For sins committed in haste, Matzah For sins of chutzpah, Bread that's fresh For substance abuse, Poppy Seed For committing arson, Toast For committing auto theft, Caraway For being ill tempered, Sourdough For silliness, Nut Bread For jingoism,Yankee Doodles For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts For war-mongering, Kaiser Rolls For immodest dressing, Tarts For causing injury or damage to others, Tortes For promiscuity, Hot Buns For being holier than thou, Bagels For unfairly upbraiding another, Challah For trashing the environment, Dumplings For sins of laziness, Any Very Long Loaf For lying, Baked Goods with Nutrasweet and Olestra For the sins of the righteous, Angel Food Cake For selling your soul, Devils Food Cake For lust in your heart, Wonder Bread For inhaling, Stoned Wheat For your convenience, your local delicatessen has pre-mixed bread crumbs for sale. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village . When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher. "Howdy," said the hillbilly. "This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?" "Oh, all the usual subjects," said the teacher, nodding at the boy. "Reading, writing, arithmetic." "What's this ?" interrupted the father. "Arith....arith... what did you say?" "'Arithmetic, Sir," said the teacher, "instruction in geometry, algebra and trigonometry." "Trigonometry!" cried the delighted hillbilly. "That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family." ____________________________________________________  
 Today, September 14 in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. One way to stop looting! 1814 Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 1847 U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the leadership of General Winfield Scott. 1866 George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 1899 In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile fatality. 1901 U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded him. 1915 Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 1938 The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the United States. 1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made object on the moon when it crash landed on the surface. 1960 The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 1963 Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving quintuplets. 1972 "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 1975 Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton the first U.S.-born saint. 1978 "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 1983 The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down of a Korean jet on September 1. 1984 Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 1987 Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U-ramp and set a new skateboard high jump record. 1998 Israel announced that they had successfully tested its Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully destroyed a simulated target. 2001 The FBI released the names of the 19 suspected hijackers that had taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 2009 Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between London and Portsmouth or Southampton. 2015 In Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors detected gravitational waves for the first time. The news was reported on February 11, 2016. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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