s
| Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 22 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 22, in 1949, The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award 151,500 child sexual abuse images and videos found at Arizona City arrest ____________________________________________________ I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) ___________________________________________________ One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. The river was deep and swift; he could not retrieve his axe, and he was too poor to buy a new one. Knowing that he was doomed to poverty and starvation, he began to weep. As he sobbed, God appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter told Him about his lost axe. God went down into the water and reappeared with a wonderful golden axe. "Is this your axe?" God asked. The woodcutter said, "No." God again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" God asked. The woodcutter said, "No." God went down again and came up with the woodcutter's old iron axe. "Is this your axe?" God asked. The woodcutter said, "Yes." God was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all the three axes. The woodcutter went home happily. One day the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank and his wife fell into the river and was swept away. When he began crying, God appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "My wife has fallen into water." God went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" God asked. "Yes," the woodcutter said. God was furious. "Once you were an honest man - but now you have become a liar and a cheat!!" The man quickly said, "Forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. If I say 'No' to Jennifer Lopez, you will come up with Catherine Zeta Jones. If I also say 'No' to her, you will finally come up with my wife, and I will say 'Yes.' Then you will give all the three to me! I am a poor man. I will not be able to feed all three. So, that's why I had to say 'Yes!' " ____________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled a driver as he sped by. >From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should maybe just say 'Bridge Out'?" __________________________________________________ reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by Merlin Harrigan, 37, Arizona City, Arizona, USA 151,500 child sexual abuse images and videos found at Arizona City arrest Police in Casa Grande arrested a man after a search yielded, in their words, one of the most significant collections of images involving child sexual abuse that they have ever encountered. According to a statement released on Sept. 20, 37-year-old Merlin Harrigan was indicted by a Pinal County Grand Jury on 10 counts of Sexual Exploitation of a Minor on Sept. 14, and was arrested by deputies with the Pinal County Sheriff's Office on Sept. 18. An investigation into Harrigan, according to Casa Grande Police officials, began in February 2022, after their officers executed a search warrant at Harrigan's home in Arizona City. The search warrant stemmed from a felony theft investigation involving Harrigan. "During the warrant service, Detectives seized numerous items of evidence, including firearms, drugs and drug paraphernalia, and electronic devices," read a portion of the statement. "Detectives also observed childrens clothing, sex toys, and a child sex doll." Officials said during a forensic analysis of Harrigan's seized electronic devices, they discovered about 151,500 child sexual abuse images and videos. "This is one of the most significant collections ever encountered on one persons device(s) investigated by the Casa Grande Police Department," read a portion of the statement. Police say Harrigan's bond is set at $250,000. _____________________________________________________ When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life. As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?" "Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries. "Gee," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?" _____________________________________________________ Melvin Laureano Red Fox, Alberta _____________________________________________________ An old wild west fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. "Yumti-Bi," he said, "you must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here." Yumti-Bi laid down and put his ear to the ground... "Heap large -- war party," he says, "maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint...many many guns. Medicine man also with them." "Good grief!" exclaims the General, "you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground???" "No, General," replied the Indian, "I can see under the gate." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news. "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid," the doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice. Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young. She's only 45." "37," came the weak reply from Lena. _________________________________________________ dearwebby's tech support pits From: Linda Re: Too slow connection Dear Webby, My neighbor's daughter claims her Internet connection is too slow for downloading Skype or Zoom for her mother. Is that possible? She is always on FaceBook, and her connection does not stop her from that. Is she lying? Linda Dear Linda yes, she is. She probably wants to flirt at all her lovers, and not share the machine with her mother. Tell the mother to just use Facebook and hog the machine. She can also use the Speed Test at https://www.speedtest.net/ If she gets 4.3 Mbps or more for download speed, then her connection is good enough. Most likely she will get a LOT more than that! Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! The man kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that S.O.B. on the phone, I'm lost and need directions." _____________________________________________________ She says: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which we'd like to have dinner." He says: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating, and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, september 22, in 1789, The U.S. Congress authorized the office of Postmaster General. 1792, The French Republic was proclaimed. 1862, U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 1903, Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 1914, Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 1927, In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous "long-count" fight. 1949, The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 1955, Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 1961, U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act that established the Peace Corps. 1964, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." debuted on NBC-TV. 1966, The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 1980, A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a full-scale war. 1986, U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist Nicholas Daniloff. 1988, Canada's government apologized for the internment of Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised compensation. 1990, Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 1991, An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the Soviet Union's British spy ring. 1992, The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 1994, The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 1998, The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the country. 1998, U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 2022 Do! smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
