Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, January 7 Thank you, James!! Thank you, Kenneth! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 7 in 1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. City, NY. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: NC man found nude from the waist down in the room of host's toddlers. He got tenderized and hauled to jail. __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Vote early and vote often. --- Al Capone, Chicago (1899 - 1947) _______________________________________________ Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!" Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one." ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mark Stanley, 60, North Carolina NC man found nude from the waist down in the room of host's toddlers. He got tenderized and hauled to jail. Authorities in Virginia are investigating after a man was allegedly found nude from the waist down in the bedroom of two children. The Spotsylvania Sheriff's Office posted about the disturbing incident on its Facebook page. On Dec. 29 in the early morning, deputies responded to a disturbance at a home. They said they found a chaotic scene when they arrived and a man had severe injuries to his face. That man was later identified as Mark Stanley, 60, of North Carolina. The sheriff's office said deputies also encountered a man with a gun quickly approaching Stanley. Deputies told the man to drop the gun and he did. An investigation revealed Stanley was at the home visiting family members for the holidays. One of the family members woke up early and decided to check on his children, ages two and three. According to the sheriff's office, the children's father found Stanley nude from the waist down in the room with the children. When the father questioned Stanley, the half-naked man reportedly pushed him out of the room and locked the door. The father forced his way into the room and allegedly began beating Stanley. It looks like he did a good job tenderizing the pervert. The picture was taken AFTER the hospital had cleaned him up. Stanley was taken to the hospital for treatment before police took him to the Rappahannock Regional Jail where he is being held without bond. The children were taken to the hospital to be evaluated for any injuries. Stanley was arrested on two counts of indecent liberties and one count of domestic assault. He may face additional charges based on the findings of the police investigation. The father of the kids was not charged. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Susan Re: Is a VPN necessary? Dear Webby, We've been using Norton 360 for years and it works for us, but now I keep getting pop-ups to get VPN too. I do not have a smart phone and do not use my computer outside. Is it necessary to add it to my Verizon service at home? Thanks Webby, Susan Dear Susan That is just Dementocrat hype. You don't need a VPN, especially since you stopped being a terrorist, when you graduated from Kindergarten. You might consider getting an extension to your browser, that blocks Pop-Ups. There are lots of free ones available. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Lynn said: The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.. Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet. Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?" The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a sh-t?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious". ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Organizing With Tackle Boxes I use fishing tackle boxes from Walmart or Kmart to store craft supplies or sewing notions like threads, buttons, needles, beads, etc. I also use one box for kids art supplies like crayons, pencils, markers, erasers, etc. They have adjustable plastic dividers that can be fixed to the size of the item you need to store. I store my earrings and jewelery in one and makeup accessories in another. These boxes have handles to carry them around easily and also stack well for easy storage. By Rayma from Edison, NJ Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ | | A Murano glass blower makes me the Ferrari logo |
___________________________________________________ A lady went to a pet shop. "I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner. "We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets. "That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated. But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet." ___________________________________________________ >From Jean When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. When I say, The other day, I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. I had my patience tested. I'm negative. Reincarnation: When you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say Did you bring the money? When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say nothing, it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is new midnight. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, Why, what did you hear? When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? When I ask for directions, please don't use words like east. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb ___________________________________________________ A fellow is talking to his Irish buddy and says, "I gotta stop drinking that Irish whiskey" "How come?" asked his friend. "Because every Saturday night I go out and drink a fifth of the stuff, come home, make mad passionate love to the wife, wake up Sunday morning, and go to church with her." "What's wrong with that?" the Irishman asks. "A lot of good Irishman go out on Saturday night, drink a fifth of good Irish whiskey, come home, make love to their wife, and go to mass with her on Sunday ." "I know," said his friend, "but I'm Jewish." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 7 in 1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, was recaptured by the French. 1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 1782 The Bank of North America opened in Philadelphia. It was the first commercial bank in the United States. 1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard successfully made the first air-crossing of the English Channel from the English coast to France. 1789 Americans voted for the electors that would choose George Washington to be the first U.S. president. 1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film. 1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years later "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it was quicker to send by wireless radio. 1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York and London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 1927 In Hinckley IL, the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game. 1929 The debut of "Buck Rogers 2429 A.D." occurred in newspapers around the U.S. The title of the comic strip was later changed to "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century." 1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brning declared that Germany cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments. 1935 French Foreign Minister Pierre Laval and Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini signed the Italo-French agreements. 1940 "Gene Autry's Melody Ranch" debuted on CBS Radio. The show aired for 16 years. 1941 The NBC Blue radio network presented "The Squeaky Door" for the first time. The show was later known as "Inner Sanctum." 1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 1949 The announcement of the first photograph of genes was shown at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. 1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of the hydrogen bomb. 1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The TV set allowed the watching of two different shows at the same time. 1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new government in Cuba. They changed their tune when Fidel confiscated all the oil wells and fruit and sugar plantations. 1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which began a time of world economic inflation. 1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that authorized $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of Chrysler Corp. 1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. The accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the safety of its visitors. 1996 Alvaro Arzu was elected president of Guatemala. 1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the eastern states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed on the severe weather. 1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an affidavit denying that she had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. It was only the second time in U.S. history that an impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges. 2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new device code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was a cross between a handheld computer and a TV remote control. 2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed the move and urged greater international involvement in the energy dispute. 2019 Do smiled. |
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