Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, April 22 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Connecticot man charged with operating a drug factory ___________________________________________________ Today, April 22 in 1915 At the Second Battle of Ypres the Germans became the first country to use poison gas. ____________________________________________________ If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) ____________________________________________________ A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law and was surprised to find his young nephew, Timmy, helping them bake the cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to put the icing on. When he had finished, he brought them to the table. "The cupcakes look delicious, Tim." his uncle said. He took a bite while looking at the other cupcakes. "Timmy these are so good." As he finished one and took another he again complimented his little nephew. "The cupcakes look beautiful, Tim," his uncle said. "How did you get them iced so evenly?" And he took a large bite while waiting for the answer. His nephew replied, "I licked them." ____________________________________________________ The FDA just approved a new drug for obesity; they say it causes modest weight loss when combined with diet and exercise. Of course, Twinkies combined with diet and exercise do the same thing, ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A guy goes to the Patents Office with some designs. He tells the clerk. "I'd like to register my new invention, a folding bottle." "Oh sure says the clerk, "what do you call it?" "A fottle," says the inventor "That's a silly name., can you think of anything else?" "I'll think about it," says the inventor. I've got something else here a folding carton "And what do you call that?", asks the clerk. "A farton." "Thats rude....You can't possibly use that name!" "Gee" says Inventor, "then you're really going to HATE the name of my folding bucket!" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelvin Novoa, 26, Connecticot, USA Connecticot man charged with operating a drug factory Complaints about drugs being sold from a home in Willimantic led to the arrest of a man. Kelvin Novoa, 26, was found to have a large amount of crack cocaine, according to police. Three search warrants were served on April 14, one on Novoa's home and two on his vehicles. Police said they seized a quarter pound of crack cocaine, $4,000 in cash, and the two vehicles. Novoa was charged with possession of cocaine near a school, operating a drug factory, possession with intent to sell and possession of a controlled substance. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Erin Re: Is "mail Quota" email a scam? Dear Webby I got an email with Subject Subject: Re: WARNING LOW SPACE, INCOMING MAIL BLOCKED Urging me to click on a button to Upgrade Mail Quota Here! What made me suspicious was that they had forged MY adress in as the sender. What should I do? Erin Dear Erin DON'T click on anything. Trash it immediately. It is scam-spam. Whenever they forge YOUR address as the purported sender, trash it unread. If you are in the habit of sending yourself emails, instead of using Post-It notes or writing on your arm, start using a goofy symbol at the start of the subject line in mails to yourself, for example Subject: ~ Aunt Emma's Birthday tomorrow That way you instantly KNOW. If some sleazy crook forges your address as the sender, he or she does not have your secret code ~ at the start of the subject line. You can of course use any symbol, that you will recognize. If you look at the Humor Letter, with my address unchanged since 1994, when you were still jail bait, MY secret symbol has always been "Humor: " The scammers have STILL not caught on to that! Just make a filter: If the mail is from: your address and SUBJECT DOES NOT CONTAIN ~ (or whatever your secret code is) Then trash it. That's all you need, and you will NEVER see scam-spam like that anymore. Have FUN! DearWebby There's a new health study that was just completed that claims having sex decreases your chances of getting a cold. The more sex you have, the less chance you'll have of catching a cold. Can you just picture how it's gonna be in office's across the country this winter, everytime a woman sneezes there'll be some guy saying, "Hey, I got something for that." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ I was showing one of the waitresses in our local gin mill. how to fold a napkin to look like a swan When the girl, a rather gorgeous young thing, batted her eyes and commented, "You have the most delicate, slender hands," "Forgive me for saying it, but they belong on a woman." Not only did I forgive her, later on I obliged her. ____________________________________________ >From Bonnie ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM SHOPPING... 1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone. 2. If it's on sale, you need it. 3. Never ask your mother her opinion. 4. You can always take it back. 5. You'll grow into it. 6. By the time you need it, you'll lose ten pounds. 7. Never believe anyone who says, "It's really you". 8. If they're working on commission, they're lying. 9. Know when to yell, "Charge!" 10. So many malls, so little time. 11. If you put it on your credit card, it's not really spending money. 12. Always try to spend someone else's money first. 13. There's no such thing as compulsive shopping, just enthusiastic shopping. 14. Shopping is patriotic. It's good for the economy. 15. If you've still got checks, there must be money in the account. 16. You can always get more credit. 17. If you want it, you deserve it. ____________________________________________ A hospital posted a notice in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, April 22 in 1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered Brazil. 1509 Henry VIII ascended to the throne of England upon the death of his father Henry VII. 1529 Spain and Portugal divided the eastern hemisphere in the Treaty of Saragosa. 1745 The Peace of Fussen was signed, restoring the status quo of Germany. 1792 U.S. President George Washington proclaimed American neutrality in the war in Europe. 1861 Robert E. Lee was named commander of Virginia forces. 1864 The U.S. Congress passed legislation that allowed the inscription "In God We Trust" to be included on one-cent and two-cent coins. 1889 At noon, the Oklahoma land rush officially started as thousands of Americans raced for new, unclaimed land. Te "Sooners" were already there. 1898 The first shot of the Spanish-American war occurred when the USS Nashville captured a Spanish merchant ship. 1915 At the Second Battle of Ypres the Germans became the first country to use poison gas. 1918 British naval forces attempted to sink block-ships in the German U-boat bases at the Battle of Zeeburgge. 1930 The U.S., Britain and Japan signed the London Naval Treaty, which regulated submarine warfare and limited shipbuilding. 1931 Egypt signed the treaty of friendship with Iraq. 1931 James G. Ray landed an autogyro on the lawn of the White House. 1944 During World War II, the Allies launched a major attack against the Japanese in Hollandia, New Guinea. 1952 An atomic test conducted in Nevada was the first nuclear explosion shown on live network television. 1967 Randy Matson set a new world record with a shot put toss of 71 feet, and 5 1/2 inches in College Station, TX. 1987 The American Physical Society said that the "Star Wars" missile system was "highly questionable" and would take ten years to research. 1997 In Lima, Peru government commandos storm and capture the residence of the Japanese ambassador ending a 126-day hostage crisis. In the rescue 71 hostages were saved. Those killed: one hostage (of a heart attack), two soldiers, and all 14 rebels. 2000 Elian Gonzalez was reunited with his father. He had to be taken from his Miami relatives by U.S. agents in a predawn raid. 2002 Filippino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ordered a state of emergency in the city of General Santos in response to a series of bombing attacks the day before. The attacks were blamed on Muslim extremists. 2010 The Boeing X-37 began its first orbital mission. It successfully returned to Earth on December 3, 2010. 2021 Do smiled. |
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