| Good Morning, Do! Today is Fiday, July 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ History: today, July 14 in 1965, The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Aurora 20-year-old pleads guilty to 4 yr old murder ___________________________________________________ QWhy do writers write? Because it isn't there. --- Thomas Berger The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005) __________________________________________________ What is the difference between men and women... A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead, which according to Murphy's Law is a sure indication that an important message was being transmitted.He jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to drive him to the command station as fast as possible. Sure enough, when the major and the sergeant ran inside the headquarter, a group of people waiting there cheered their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward and shook the major's hand. "Don't congratulate me, sir," the major said modestly as he pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing." The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant. "Congratulations," he said. "The major's wife just had a baby girl." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Trevor C White, 20, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora 20-year-old pleads guilty to murder A twenty-year-old man from Aurora is pleading guilty to murder in exchange for a 22 year prison sentence. Prosecutors say that Trevor C. White Jr. shot and killed twenty-year-old John Smith of Aurora in February of 2020 in the 400 block of Sherman Avenue. White was sixteen at the time. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that White had arrived at the home a former girlfriend and tried to convince her to leave with him. Also at the apartment were the former girlfriend's sister and Smith. While the former girlfriend and her sister were trying to get White to leave, he fired a shot which hit Smith and killed him. White will have to serve his full sentence. He'll get credit for the three years he's been at the Kane County Jail. ___________________________________________________ Computer problems? Have you checked the loose nut in front of the keyboard? __________________________________________________ A bus load of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech, "Welcome to Fort Dix, men. From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home." Hearing this, one of the recruits broke formation, sat down and lit a cigarette. "Private, what the ...... are you doing?" yelled the sergeant. "Well," said the private, "I'm just making myself at home. Like you said, this is my home." Thinking fast, the sergeant said, "Son, you listen good, and you're right. This is your home. So, as soon as you finish that cigarette, I want you to report to the mess hall to help mother with the dishes for the next three months." ___________________________________________________ Nanga Parbat ___________________________________________________ Tammy and Anni were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, Tammy said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then ?" asked Anni. "Yes, but not yet." Tammy replied, "I'd like to lose at least another ten to fifteen pounds first." ___________________________________________________ Dear Webby's Tech Support Pits From:Buzzy Re: Is your email secure? ===== From the 123clickit.com Tech Support pits ====== CALLER: "How secure is my email ? I got this letter that said my name has been traced to my address!" BUZZY: "That's just spam. Always rememeber, spammers lie." CALLER: "Well, I know THAT. But how did they trace my name to my address?" BUZZY: "Have a look and tell me if that spam is addressed to your name or something phoney." CALLER: "To 'friend at public.com'." BUZZY: "That's about as phoney as it can go. It reminds me of Lil Thomlin, one of the greatest classic comedians who ever lived. She used to play a telephone operator who called random numbers and asked them: 'Awe you the person I am speaking to?'. Those spammers are just turning that old joke into a sleazy way to get you worried. CALLER: "So my email is secure?" BUZZY: "Yes, your email is secure. However, anybody who has an IQ higher than their shoe size, can easily find out your name at any time." CALLER: (quite worried) "HOW ?" BUZZY: "You got a business web page and tell everybody who you are and invite them all to come and see you in your store." CALLER: "DUH! Guess I need some smaller shoes, huh ?" Have Fun! DearWebby ___________________________________________________________ A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. "Lady," Johnny explained, "we are on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _____________________________________________________ A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire." __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 14, in 1223, In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 1430, Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 1456, Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 1536, France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which aligned them against Spain. 1789, French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 1798, The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. 1868, Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 1891, The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company. 1900, European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the rebelling Boxers. 1908, "The Adventures of Dolly" opened at the Union Square Theatre in New York City. 1911, Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 1914, Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 1933, All German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. 1940, A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, from bases in Crete. 1941, Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign Legion. 1945, American battleships and cruisers bombarded the Japanese home islands for the first time. 1946, Dr. Benjamin Spocks "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. 1951, The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 1951, The George Washington Carver National Monument in Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an African American. 1958, The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 1965, The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. 1967, Eddie Mathews (Houston Astros) hit his 500th career home run. 1968, Hank Aaron (Atlanta Braves) hit his 500th career home run. 1981, The All-Star Game was postponed because of a 33-day-old baseball players strike. The game was held on August 9. 1998, Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 2001, Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first time that China had been awarded the games. 2008, The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications downloaded. 2008, In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 2009, The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications downloaded. 2015, NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space mission to explore Pluto. 2023, Do smiled.
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