Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, August 27 Thank you Gerald! I really appreciate your help! _____________________________________________________ Today, August 27 in  1939 Nazi Germany demanded the Polish corridor and Danzig, which they had lost as punishment for WWI. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
   
 Today's Bonehead Award: Solomon Nhiwatiwa Tried to Lure Girl into His Car and urinated on her when she resisted.  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) _______________________________________________ New Definitions To Learn TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. DIVORCE -- usually due to marriage PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what happened. SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water around it. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't a western. OPTIMIST -- girl who regards a bulge as a curve. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. ________________________________________________` Thanks to Linda for this picture:   _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Solomon Nhiwatiwa, 34, Cleveland suburb of Euclid, Ohio  Solomon Nhiwatiwa Tried to Lure Girl into His Car and urinated on her when she resisted.  Solomon Nhiwatiwa is a Cleveland police officer facing multiple felony charges after prosecutors say he attempted to lure a 12- year-old girl into his car for sexual purposes while she was waiting for her school bus. He then returned and filmed himself urinating on the child at the bus stop in the Ohio city, according to authorities. Nhiwatiwa avoided a shoot-out and turned himself in to on Tuesday, August 20. A grand jury indicted Nhiwatiwa, 34, and charged him with kidnapping with sexual motivation, pandering obscenity involving a minor, disseminating matter harmful to juveniles, endangering children, criminal child enticement, public indecency, assault and attempted interference with custody. These actions are impossible to comprehend, Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Michael O'Malley said, later adding that This is just an individual who is a bad man who just happens to work as a police officer. Between the indictement and him being locked up, some people burglared his home and left with two big bags full of hard drives, guns, ammo, knives, brass knuckles and computers. It is not known whether he had called a buddy to go clean up, or whether police wanted to make sure that the local crooks did not get all that stuff.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Rebecca Re: Key Logger intrusion attempt  Dear Webby, I do not know if I am at the right email address for AngelWinks Cards but this was the only contact email address I could find. I would not bother if this were not important. I have a very sophisticated spyware program running in the background and while I was on AngelWinks.net and had just sent a card with poem and music, my spyware program had a pop up screen that told me there was a key logging program trying to load onto or access my computer!! The name of is was: paq keylog 5.0 I thought you needed to know this. Thank you for the sites you host. Take care. Sincerely, Rebecca A.  Dear Rebecca Sounds like the timing was just a coincidence. AngelWinks.com is on a UNIX server and can't be infected with Windows programs. All it can do is show pages and send cards. Those key loggers and other hack programs just try one computer after another, until they find some unprotected grampa or gramma. It makes no difference what you got running or what you are visiting at the time, those programs are like burglars trying the back doors of all houses, to see if one is unlocked. As long as you are connected to the Internet, they can knock on your door. If you DO have a firewall, they go elsewhere. If you don't, they get in. That is why you use a fire-wall and anti-spyware and anti-virus programs. You would have seen the same warning, no matter what you did in the foreground. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," insisted the churchgoer. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child." 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 As a frequent flier, I get annoyed when other passengers disregard the airline attendant's pleas to stay seated when the plane taxies to the gate. One attendant captured my heart by announcing: "The captain will be parking the aircraft at Gate 41 in approximately two minutes. I've seen the captain's car. So if I were you, I would remain seated." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Magnet for Picking Up Needles and Pins Keep a magnet by your sewing machine to pick up needles and metal pins when they fall on the floor. You can also keep needles and pins from falling on the floor in the first place by putting them on a magnet when you are not using them. thriftyfun.Com  Tool and better hardware stores sell flexible magnetic strips with a self-adhesive back. They are strong enough to hold mechanic's tools on a wall, and can easily carry an array of different scissors and needles. I made an embroidery case for a friend once and glued those strips into an oak attache case. It worked out great and even with rough handling nothing ever came loose. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________   
  
Show and tell, incredible castles. 
 ___________________________________________________ A man approached a local in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to York?" The local scratched his head. "Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger. "I'm driving." "That's the quickest way. It's way over yonder." ___________________________________________________ The pretty young lady was having a tooth pulled. The dentist gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" routine before bending over her with a drill in his hand. He immediately drew back in complete alarm. "Miss," he said in a barely audible whisper, "You have hold of my testicles!" "Yes, doc, I know," she smiled, "and we aren't going to hurt each other, are we? ___________________________________________________ Two little boys were sitting on the dock talking. One little boy turned to the other little boy and said, "My grandfather has a wooden leg." The other little boy replied, "So what? My grandma has a cedar chest." __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, August 27 in 1660 The books of John Milton were burned in London due to his attacks on King Charles II. 1789 The Declaration of the Rights of Man was adopted by the French National Assembly. 1828 Uruguay was formally proclaimed to be independent during preliminary talks between Brazil and Argentina. 1858 The first cabled news dispatch was sent and was published by "The New York Sun" newspaper. The story was about the peace demands of England and France being met by China. 1859 The first oil well was successfully drilled in the U.S. by Colonel Edwin L. Drake near Titusville, PA. 1889 Charles G. Conn received a patent for the metal clarinet. 1889 Boxer Jack "Nonpareil" Dempsey was defeated for the first time of his career by George LaBlanche. 1892 The original Metropolitan Opera House in New York was seriously damaged by fire. 1894 The Wilson-Gorman Tariff Act was passed by the U.S. Congress. The provision within for a graduated income tax was later struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1921 The owner of Acme Packing Company bought a pro football team for Green Bay, WI. J.E. Clair paid tribute to those who worked in his plant by naming the team the Green Bay Packers. (NFL) 1928 The Kellogg-Briand Pact was signed by 15 countries in Paris. Later, 47 other nations would sign the pact. 1938 Robert Frost, in a fit of jealousy, set fire to some papers to disrupt a poetry recital by another poet, Archibald MacLeish. 1939 Nazi Germany demanded the Polish corridor and Danzig, which they had lost as punishment for WWI. 1945 American troops landed in Japan after the surrender of the Japanese government at the end of World War II. 1962 Mariner 2 was launched by the United States. In December of the same year the spacecraft flew past Venus. It was the first space probe to reach the vicinity of another planet. 1972 North Vietnam's major port at Haiphong saw the first bombings from U.S. warplanes. 1981 Work began on recovering a safe from the Andrea Doria. The Andrea Doria was a luxury liner that had sank in 1956 in the waters off of Massachusetts. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the first citizen to go into space would be a teacher. The teacher that was eventually chosen was Christa McAuliffe. She died in the Challenger disaster on January 28, 1986. 1985 The Space Shuttle Discovery left for a seven-day mission in which three satellites were launched and another was repaired and redeployed. 1989 The first U.S. commercial satellite rocket was launched. A British communications satellite was onboard. 1990 The U.S. State Department ordered the expulsion of 36 Iraqi diplomats. 1991 The Soviet republic of Moldavia declared its independence. 1996 California Governor Pete Wilson signed an order that would halt state benefits to illegal immigrants. 1998 "Titanic" became the first movie in North America to earn more than $600 million. 1999 The final crew of the Russian space station Mir departed the station to return to Earth. Russia was forced to abandon Mir for financial reasons. 2001 The U.S. military announced that an Air Force RQ-1B "Predator" aircraft was lost over Iraq. It was reported that the unmanned aircraft "may have crashed or been shot down." 2001 Work began on the future site of a World War II memorial on the U.S. capital's historic national Mall. The site is between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. 2019 Do smiled.