Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, November 4 Time to change the clocks to Winter time, except in a few distinct areas. Turn the clocks BACK, so that you get an hour of extra sleep in the morning, >From Dani Dear Webby, Thank you so much for your advise on Mail Washer. I purchased it yesterday and it is a working wonder, just like you. So easy. Wish I had gotten it a long time ago. Thanks again for all you do. Dani Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:   4 charged after toddler found outside with a bottle of beer  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 4 in 1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the anethestic qualities of chloroform. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. --- William James ______________________________________________________ >From Jim The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the minister. The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation. The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?" There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "Grampa, we can't hear you in the back!" And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win." "OK, then, if your side wins, then you are guilty of perjury and will get ten years." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ My girlfriend asked me if I'll love her in the morning. I told her it depends on what happens tonight. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Ashlee Harcum, 29 Theresa Rockinberg, 52 Rebecca Rockinberg, 27 Akeiba Johnson, 24 Steeltron, Pennsylvania  4 charged after toddler found outside with a bottle of beer  Four women in Steelton are facing charges after an officer on patrol saw two toddlers running across a street. One of the toddlers, according to police, had a beer. The officer was on patrol on Oct. 7 in the area of South 4th Street when he saw two children under the age of 2 running across the street. Both children didn't have shoes on, and one was carrying a full, opened bottle of beer, police said. As a result of the investigation, the following women were charged with endangering the welfare of children:  From: Irene Re: Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor/Speakers switch  Dear Webby. You once mentioned a switch that allows one to use one keyboard for two machines and monitors. What are they called and how do they work? Irene  Dear Irene They are called KVM switches. You plug your keyboard and your mouse and your microphone and speakers or head set in on one side, and the two monitors and cables to both computers for USB, microphone and speakers on the other side of the switch. It is a good idea to untangle your cable salad beforehand and label each cable. If you do that, it's easy and works on the first try. When you start up after you connect, your mouse and keyboard control computer #1, the speakers play the sound from #1, and the monitor shows what's going on on computer #1. You hit NumLock or ScrollLock twice, and everything switches to machine #2. You can, of course, use two monitors. That way you see both the actively controlled and the other machine. The other machine does not pause, everything keeps running, you just don't actively control it with mouse and keyboard, - until you double- hit NumLock and switch the active control over to that machine. If you run two machines at the same time, a KVM switch is definitely the way to go. That way you use only ONE keyboard and ONE mouse. Instead of digging for Mouse#2 and knocking your coffee over, you just hit Numlock twice and you are instantly controlling the other machine. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 Bob's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. He stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?" 
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 REPORTED TO BE REAL-LIFE ADS ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. ~ For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. ~ Great Dames for sale. ~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ~ Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. ~ If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. ~ MT. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. ~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. ~ Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Label the Labels If you have more than one child, it can become difficult to remember which article of clothing goes with which child. One easy solution is to mark the initials of owners on the clothing tag with permanent ink. Use a different color for each child.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
How an 1830s Meme Became the Most Widely Spoken Word in the World 
 ___________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 814 times." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 Do was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Do thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"  
 Today November 4 in 1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer. 1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 1924 Nellie T. Ross of Wyoming was elected America's first woman governor so she could serve out the remaining term of her late husband, William B. Ross. 1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy allowed cash-and- carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air- conditioned car was put on display. 1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for the British. 1952 In the United States, the National Security Agency (NSA) was established. 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 1965 Lee Ann Roberts Breedlove became the first woman to exceed 300 mph when she went 308.5 mph. 1970 Former King Peter II of Yugoslavia died in Denver, CO. He was the first European king or queen to die and to be buried in the U.S. 1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle Columbia was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the countdown. 1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had been kidnapped by the CIA. 1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives. 1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending a peace rally. 1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. 2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had its world premiere in London. 2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40 years. 2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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