Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, January 29 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  Thank you, Nancy!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Fresno State wrestler arrested for rape of drugged, unconscious 15 year old girl  ___________________________________________________ Today, January 29 in 1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by Karl Benz, was patented. ____________________________________________________ Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) ____________________________________________________ Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he barked at him: "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone." ____________________________________________________ Lady: "Waiter, please bring me coffee without cream." Waiter: "I'm afraid we've run out of cream. Would you like it without milk?" _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Isaiah Perez, 21, Fresno, California, USA  Fresno State wrestler arrested for rape of drugged, unconscious 15 year old girl  A 21-year-old Fresno State student-athlete was arrested for rape last week. Fresno State Athletics confirmed on Tuesday that Isaiah Perez was part of the university's wrestling team. According to booking records from the Fresno County Jail, Perez was arrested on January 22 on several charges including, raping a drugged victim, kidnapping to commit rape, raping an unconscious victim, battery and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Fresno State's interim university president, Dr. Sal Jimnez-Sandoval, said the alleged assault happened on November 18 at the Bulldog Village apartments. The victim was not a Fresno State student, he added.  
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Kiarra Re:Browser history Dear Webby I need to delete the history, or at least part of it, from my browser (Chrome) before hubby gets back from hospital. How do I do that? Kiarra Dear Kiarra In Chrome hit CTRL H to get the history. Then checkmark all the bad items. If you have a whole bunch of similar ones in a row, for example all smoking related, you can hold down SHIFT, click the top one of those, then the bottom one. All the ones in between will also get checkmarked. Then hit the DELETE key or click on the Delete button on the top right. The checkmarked ones are all gone. Have Fun! DearWebby
>From Edith The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the lake, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water.
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 The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes west longitude...?" After a confused silence, Johnnie offered this as his answer, ....."I guess you'd be eating alone.... I can't swim THAT far!" ____________________________________________ A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World." Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too -- probably better than Houdini." The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?" Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it." "In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest." ____________________________________________ A country woman passed out and her husband,Bubba, called 911. The operator said they would send someone out right away and asked, "Where do you live?" Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally, Bubba said, "How about I drag her over to Oak Street and you can meet us there?" ____________________________________________ 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribeIf you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today Jan 29 in 1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 1848 Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland. 1850 Henry Clay introduced in the Senate a compromise bill on slavery that included the admission of California into the Union as a free state. 1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by Karl Benz, was patented. 1916 In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins for the first time. 1924 R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine. 1940 The W. Atlee Burpee Seed Company displayed the first tetraploid flowers at the New York City Flower Show. 1949 "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first air- conditioned naval ship in Virginia. 1958 Charles Starkweather was captured by police in Wyoming. 1963 Britain was refused entry into the EEC. 1979 U.S. President Carter formally welcomed Chinese Vice Premier Deng Xiaoping to the White House. The visit followed the establishment of diplomatic relations. 1987 "Physicians Weekly" announced that the smile on the face of Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a "...facial paralysis resulting from a swollen nerve behind the ear." 1990 Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon Valdez, went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that stemmed from America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was later acquitted of all the major charges and was convicted of a misdemeanor. 1996 French President Jacques Chirac announced the "definitive end" to nuclear testing. 1996 La Fenice, the 204 year old opera house in Venice, was destroyed by fire. Arson was suspected. 1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. Customers were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat $19.95-a-month rate. 1998 A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, AL, killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding a nurse. Eric Rudolph was charged with this bombing and three other attacks in Atlanta. 1999 Paris prosecutors announced the end of the investigation into the accident that killed Britain's Princess Diana. 1999 The U.S. Senate delivered subpoenas for Monica Lewinsky and two presidential advisers for private, videotaped testimony in the impeachment trial. 2001 In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters stormed the parliament property and demanded that President Abdurrahman Wahid quit due to his alleged involvement in two corruption scandals. Wahid announced that he would not resign. 2014 Archaeologists announced that they had uncovered what they believed to be the oldest temple in Roman antiquity. The temple was found at the Sant'Omobono site in central Rome. 2021 Do smiled. 
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