Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, January 20 ___________________________________________________ Today, January 19 in  1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan.  ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award:  Elgin man faces minimum 42-year prison term after skipping rape trial  __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. --- Joan Rivers (1935 - ) _____________________________________________ How does Janice like being pregnant?" Bob asked his friend John. "Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Bob pressed. "Well, John explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to do the shopping, she's expecting me to rub her feet..." ________________________________________________`   ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Mario Pieda, 36, Elgin, Illinois  Elgin man faces minimum 42-year prison term after skipping rape trial  An Elgin man who was a no-show for his trial this week faces a minimum 42-year prison term after a jury convicted him of sexually assaulting a girl he knew. A Kane County jury Thursday convicted Mario Pieda, 36, of the 0-100 block of South DuBois Avenue, of seven counts of predatory criminal sexual assault of a child under 13 and two counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, according to prosecutors. During the four-day trial, prosecutors presented evidence that Pieda sexually assaulted the victim multiple times in 2016. She eventually told her parents, and her father filed a police report. Judge Charles Petersen set Pieda's next court appearance for March 26 for motions, sentencing and forfeiture of bail. Pieda, who had been free on $20,000 bail, last appeared in court in September 2019 and was absent last week during the final conference before his trial. "I'm proud of this victim for showing the strength to tell her story at her abuser's trial," State's Attorney Joe McMahon said. "Her courage towers over that of Mr. Pieda, who fled like a coward instead owning up to his selfish crimes." Pieda faces a top punishment of 210 years. He must serve 85% of any sentence and must register as a sex offender for life. An arrest warrant has been issued for Pieda. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Bob Re: Laptop batteries  Dear Webby, Is it still important to run laptop batteries totally down, or is that an old myth? Bob  Dear Bob That is an old myth. With today's batteries that is no longer required. However, keep in mind that laptop batteries do not last forever. After about 5 years they suddenly die, no matter what you have been doing. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge. He instructed her to get undressed and lie down on the examining table. She did so.... The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage her "private parts." After a couple of minutes he asked, "How does that feel?" "Wonderful," she replied, "but the discharge is from my ear." 
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 ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Making Winter Scarf Covered Wreaths  This simple and very easy DIY consists of a wreath and a winter scarf. This project is no sew, no glue. You just take your scarf and simply wrap around and tuck the ends into the pleats of your wrapped wreath. Making this project so simple! Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun  ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Lightning Storm Inside A Volcano 
 ___________________________________________________ There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress". The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!" The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" He asked. "No!" the director screamed, "You forgot the bloody rose!" ___________________________________________________ A wife is sitting in the living room watching TV, when all of a sudden she hears her husband in the bedroom, swearing up a storm. He is using every bad word in the book. The wife runs into the bedroom to see what is going on. She finds her husband just sitting on the bed. She asks her husband, "honey, what happened? Did you fall down and get hurt or something?" The husband looks up and replies, "no, I'm fine. I'm just practicing." The wife gets a real confused look on her face, and said, "practicing? Practicing for what?" Then the husband says, "golf season starts tomorrow!" ___________________________________________________ A funeral service was held for a woman who has passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers were carrying the casket out when they accidentally bumped into a wall, jarring the casket. Suddenly, they heard a faint moan. When they opened the casket they found that the woman was actually alive. She lived for 10 more years and then finally died. A ceremony was again held and at the end of the service the pallbearers were again carrying out the casket. As they were walking, the husband was heard to cry out, "Watch out for the damn wall!!!". __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today January 20 in 1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster Hall. 1839 Chile defeated a confederation of Peru and Bolivia in the Battle of Yungay. 1841 The island of Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain. It returned to Chinese control in July 1997. 1885 The roller coaster was patented by L.A. Thompson. 1886 The Mersey Railway Tunnel was officially opened by the Prince of Wales. 1887 The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base. 1929 The movie "In Old Arizona" was released. The film was the first full-length talking film to be filmed outdoors. 1942 Nazi officials held the Wannsee conference, during which they arrived at their "final solution" that called for exterminating Europe's Jews. 1944 The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on Berlin and killed 2 Million Germans. 1952 In Juarez, Mexico, Patricia McCormick debuted as the first professional woman bullfighter from the United States. 1953 "Studio One" became the first television show to be transmitted from the United States to Canada. 1954 The National Negro Network was formed on this date. Forty radio stations were charter members of the network. 1972 The number of unemployed in Britain exceeded 1 million. 1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. 1985 The most-watched Super Bowl game in history was seen by an estimated 115.9 million people. The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Miami Dolphins, 38-16. Super Bowl XIX marked the first time that TV commercials sold for a million dollars a minute. 1986 Britain and France announced their plans to build the Channel Tunnel. 1986 New footage of the 1931 "Frankenstein" was found. The footage was originally deleted because it was considered to be too shocking. 1987 Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite was kidnapped in Beirut, Lebanon. He was there attempting to negotiate the release of Western hostages. He was not freed until November 1991. 1994 Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to attend classes at The Citadel in South Carolina. Faulkner joined the cadet corps in August 1995 under court order but soon dropped out. 1996 Yasser Arafat was elected president of the Palestinian Authority and his supporters won two thirds of the 80 seats in the Legislative Council. 1997 Bill Clinton was inaugurated for his second term as president of the United States. 1998 American researchers announced that they had cloned calves that may produce medicinal milk. 1998 In Chile, a judge agreed to hear a lawsuit that accused Chile's former dictator Augusto Pinochet with genocide. 1999 The China News Service announced that the Chinese government was tightening restrictions on internet use. The rules were aimed at 'Internet Bars.' 2000 Greece and Turkey signed five accords aimed to build confidence between the two nations. 2019 Do smiled. 

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