Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday November 13 Here is a domain name you can use! 4mylove.com You can buy that domain name for $50 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people.  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13 in 1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called "The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener" More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. She replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it". _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A sweet 6 year-old girl is sitting on Santa's Lap in a department store. Santa asks the young child "And what do you want for Christmas?" The sweet girl looks into Santa's eyes, and says with disgust, "Hey, didn't you read my E-mail?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Middlesex County Jail New Jersey Luis Rodrigo Perez, 23, Mexican Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people. Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people, Price said. Had ICE's detainer request in December 2017 been honored by Middlesex County Jail, Luis Rodrigo Perez would have been placed in deportation proceedings and likely sent home to his country and three innocent people might be alive today. "It is past time that localities realize the perils of dangerous sanctuary policies and resume their primary goal of protecting their residents," Price added. In an email to the Associated Press, Middlesex County officials said the detainer wasn't honored because it didn't meet their criteria. Missouri law enforcement officials believe Perez and Aaron Anderson, 19, killed their ex-roommates Steven Marler, 38, and Aaron Hampton, 23, after they were kicked out of their Springfield home. Perez is also accused of killing a 21-year-old Sabrina Starr the next day at her house. He is charged with eight felony counts in the shootings. Anderson told investigators he was waiting with Starr in an SUV outside Hampton and Marler's home when Perez shot them, adding that he could hear the victims begging for their lives while on the phone with Perez. He was charged as an accomplice to first-degree murder and three other felonies. Perez's girlfriend, Dalia Garcia, 23, is charged with tampering with evidence after she allegedly rode a bus from New Jersey to help burn evidence. From: Helen Re: Laptop getting hot Dear Webby My laptop feels hotter and hotter on my lap. What do I have to do? Helen Dear Helen The machinery did not change, it just got dirty. You have to, either yourself or get soebody else to do it, open it up and vacuum it out. Especially when used on your lap, it sucks in all kinds of cozy fluff, That interferes with the cooling. You need a phillips screwdriver and a vacuum cleaner with a crewvice attachment. An empty jam jar is also handy for keeping the removed screws in. Some Q-tips and windex may also be handy. Shut it down, but don't necessarily unplug anything. The charging cable will ground it and stop you from zapping it. Turn it upside down and remove all screws that you can see. Put the screws into the jam jar, so that they don't roll away or get vacuumed up. Once you have removed all the screws, you can \separate the top and bottom of the laptop. Once you have the top and bottom separated, you see the big mess. Use the vacuum cleaner to clean everything without quite touching anything. If you see any heatsinks or fans, clean them with a Q-tip and Windex or anything like that. Assemble it again and put the screws back in. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. "I've never had an old ball," he said.
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A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?" "I wann have numma 69" she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wann . Beef with Bloccoli?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Logs If you have a wood burning stove and receive the daily paper, you can make your own newspaper logs. Lay newspapers flat and roll it into 3 inch diameter logs then wrap metal wire around the finished log. The tighter you can roll the paper, the longer the "logs" will burn. You will wind up with a lot of ash, that you have to vacuum out, otherwise it will "blind" the grate and interfere with air flow. Also, keep in mind that when paper is burned without plenty of heat and air, you produce toxic pollutants, and not really very much heat. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today." HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news." HER "Well, the air bag works." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."
 Today November 13 in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." 1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called "The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener" 1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America took place. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial segregation on public buses. 1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that a president had taken such action. 2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for $1.65 million in Google stock. 2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 2018 Do smiled. 

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