Good Morning, Do! ! Today is Tuesday, April 4 ___________________________________________________ History: Today, Aril 4 in 1968. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age 39. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: 92-Year-Old Killed In Boca Raton Hit-And-Run Crash, Suspect Arrested _____________________________________________ Q You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. --- Mark Twain ________________________________________________ A 16-year-old girl buys herself a very skimpy bikini. Modeling it for her mother, she asks: "So, Mom, what do you think?" Her mother replies, "I think that if I had worn that when I was your age, you'd be five years older!" ______________________________________________________ A fellow who was discussing his health with his doctor after his annual physical. "You had a great checkup," said the doc. "Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" " Well," said the man, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 17 to 2." __________________________________________ A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June," he said. "She left me $10,000 to remember her by and help with my greif." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died. He was generous though, leaving me $50,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died. She left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad...." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture:  ____________________________________________________ HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN. 2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. 3. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. 4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. 5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. 6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. 7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. 8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. 9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE. 10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. 11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. 12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. 2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. 3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. 5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. 6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. 8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY. 9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. ____________________________________________________  Keeping the buses out of Coyote turf in Calgary ____________________________________________________ How many born-again Christians does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the bulb and about 500 to go outside and shout "I've seen the light!" _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been reported by Rock  Genesis Gray, 22, Boca Raton, USA 92-Year-Old Killed In Boca Raton Hit-And-Run Crash, Suspect Arrested he Boca Raton Police Department has arrested in the case of the hit-and-run death of a 92-year-old man last October. According to BRPD, on March 30, 2023, 21-year-old Genesis Gray, resident of Boca Raton, was arrested and charged with Vehicular Homicide and Leaving the Scene Causing Death. According to an arrest affidavit submitted by the Boca Raton Police Department, the 92-year-old victim, who we will not name, was struck by a dark-colored Mercedes sedan. During the course of the investigation, Police found the vehicle and questioned 20-year-old Genesis Gray. Gray admitted to driving the vehicle, after drinking a few beers while tailgating at an FAU football game; however, denied being in an accident. Before the victim passed away, he told Police that he was walking home from Publix when he fell. He was trying to wave to the driver before he ran him over. 20-year-old Gray told Police If I did hit the person like you're saying by accident, I don't remember it . DNA evidence was collected from the vehicle on the day of the accident and processed. Officers also reviewed CCTV evidence from homes in the area and even performed a forensic review of Genesis' cell phone before filing for a warrant to arrest Gray. Genesis Gray was charged with 782.071(1A) VEHICULAR HOMICIDE and 316.027(2C) TCATS LEAVING SCENE OF CRASH INVOLVING DEATH. Gray was booked into the PBSO jail on March 30th, 2023 with a bond set at $50,000. Boca Post (BocaPost.com) Boca Raton Police say that the 92- year-old man who was struck by a vehicle while he was walking along NW 7th Street on October 15th has since passed away. Boca Raton Police say that the Traffic Homicide Unit of the Boca Raton Police Department is investigating a fatal hit- and-run accident that occurred on Saturday, October 15, 2022, at 1044 NW 7th Street. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Left wing quotes Dear Webby, I have a question for you. This is our little dog we had to put down lately. I want to print this obit out, but when I do it from here, it makes a mess of the words won t & wasn t . It puts in the a & E smybol & TM, for the little collon thing???? so frustrated, why won t it print as it sees it right?? How can I get it to print it as I see it properly? Thanks for your help & all the good page you put out. TC, Betty Dear Betty Dear Betty Your problem is that whoever wrote that, used a Microsoft program, that uses silly "liberal" left leaning) quotes, which, as you noticed, look rather stupid on standard programs. Instead of won't you get won There IS a way to make Microsoft Word use standard quotes instead of liberal left wing quotes. Instructions for that are here: How to turn off Liberal left Wing Quotes in Microsoft WEIRD. "Turn Off Liberal Quotes Or you can download Open Office or Office Libre. Both are free. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, April 4 in 0896. Formosus ended his reign as pope. 1541. Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general of the Jesuits. 1581. Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few months earlier he became the first Englishman to circumnavigate the world. 1687. King James II ordered that his declaration of indulgence be read in church. 1812. The territory of Orleans became the 18th U.S. state and will become known as Louisiana. 1818. A plan was passsed by the U.S. Congress that the U.S. flag would have 13 red and white stripes and 20 stars and that a new star would be added for the each new state. 1848. Thomas Douglas became the first San Francisco public teacher. 1850. The city of Los Angeles was incorporated. 1862. In the U.S., the Battle of Yorktown began as Union General George B. McClellan closed in on Richmond, VA. 1887. Susanna M. Salter became mayor of Argonia, KS, making her the first woman mayor in the U.S. 1902. British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his will that would provide scholarships for Americans to Oxford University in England. 1905. In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people. 1914. The first known serialized moving picture opened in New York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline". 1917. The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I on the Allied side. 1918. The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British against the German Army ended. 1932. After five years of research, professor C.G. King, of the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C. 1945. Hungary was liberated from Nazi occupation. 1945. During World War II, U.S. forces liberated the Nazi death camp Ohrdruf in Germany. 1949. Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 1953. Fifteen doctors were released by Soviet leaders. The doctors had been arrested before Stalin had died and were accused of plotting against him. 1967. The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam. 1967. Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week. 1968. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of 39. 1969. Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary artificial heart. 1973. In New York, the original World Trade Center twin towers opened. At the time they were the tallest building in the world. 1975. More than 130 people, most of them children, were killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon. 1979. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder a political opponent. 1981. Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio, TX. 1984. U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on chemical weapons. 1985. In Sudan, a coup ousted President Nimeiry and replaced him with General Dahab. 1986. Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of the season. 1987. The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a U.S. Embassy. 1988. Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness. 1990. In the U.S., securities law violator Ivan Boesky was released from federal custody. 1991. Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over a schoolyard in Merion, PA. 1992. Sali Berisha became the first non-Marxist president of Albania since World War II. 1994. Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was founded. 1995. U.S. Senator Alfonse D'Amato ridiculed judge Lance Ito using a mock Japanese accent on a nationally syndicated radio program. D'Amato apologized two days later for the act. 2017. In Honk Kong, the Pink Star diamond sold at auction for $71 million. The auction set a record for any diamond or jewel. The diamond is a 59.60-carats. 2023, Do smiled.
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