Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, May 7 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man, who ran worlds largest child-pornography website gets 30 years Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 7 in 1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Mistakes are the portals of discovery. --- James Joyce (1882 - 1941) I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic. --- Lisa Alther ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and ask for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays" The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play." The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?" The Rabbi softly speaks, "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Luigi Feniello   ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Steven W. Chase, 58, Naples, Florida  Man, who ran worlds largest child-pornography website gets 30 years  A Florida man identified by federal prosecutors as the creator and lead administrator of whats thought to be the worlds largest child-pornography website has been sentenced to 30 years in prison. The FBI said in a news release Friday that 58-year-old Steven W. Chase of Naples, Florida, was sentenced this week in a federal courtroom in North Carolina. Two co-defendants who also were identified as administrators of the website each received 20-year prison terms earlier this year. According to the FBI, Chase created a website called Playpen in August 2014 on an open internet network where users can communicate anonymously through hidden service websites. Chase ran Playpen, which the FBI said had more than 150,000 users around the world.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Glenis Re: Letter shortcut on desktop Dear Webby I saw one of the IT guys click on an icon and an already addressed email opened up. He just put some quick comments into the body of the email and fired it off. I didn't want to ask him and appear stupid, especially since those guys can't explain anything anyway. I take information by phone and then fire quotes by email to the four salespeople. I know YOU can explain how to do that. Thanks Glenis  Dear Glenis Right-click on a free spot on the desktop's edge, New Shortcut and into the location field type: mailto:johnnie@company.com?subject="Quote # 123456" For the shortcut name, use johnie or whatever the name of that salesperson is. Hit OK until you are out of it and it's ready to use. With the Quote number, just use all but the last 3 digits. Those you'll fill in manually when you send the email. Once you have those shortcuts made for all four, make or find four different icons, that are suitable for those four people, and change their shortcut icons to those. Done. Have FUN! DearWebby    During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life." 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Ice Last Longer  Cover the ice in a picnic cooler with foil to help it last longer. Keep water in your canteen cooler by wrapping the canteen in foil. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com   If you REALLY want to cool a canteen, use a sawed off leg of old jeans, sewed closed at the bottom and the top cut and re-inforced like shopping bag handles. Soak the pant leg, put the canteen into it and hang it from a side mirror or front bumper or grill. As the wind evaporates the water, it sucks heat out of the canteen. Long socks work too, but you will wind up with ice in the canteen if you drive too fast. That is the reason why military canteens used to be covered with cotton cloth. Have FUN! DearWebby  

horse won't leave reporter alone

>From Alice: On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." ___________________________________________________

Beautiful gentle giants.

I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."

Ophelia Dingbatter's News No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

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Today, on May 7 0558 The Dome Of The Church Of St. Sophia In Constantinople Collapsed. It Was Immediately Rebuilt As Ordered By Justinian. 1429 The English Siege Of Orleans Was Broken By Joan Of Arc. 1525 The German Peasants' Revolt Was Crushed By The Ruling Class And Church. 1763 Indian Chief Pontiac Began All Out War On The British In New York. 1912 The First Airplane Equipped With A Machine Gun Flew Over College Park, Md. 1915 The Lusitania, A Civilian Ship Carrying Poison Gas, Was Sunk By A German Submarine. 1,201 People Were Killed. 1926 A U.S. Report Showed That One-Third Of The Nation's Exports Were Motors. 1937 The German Condor Legion Arrived In Spain To Assist FrancoS Forces. 1939 Germany And Italy Announced A Military And Political Alliance Known As The Rome-Berlin Axis. 1940 Winston Churchill Became British Prime Minister. 1942 In The Battle Of The Coral Sea, Japanese And American Navies Attacked Each Other With Carrier Planes. It Was The First Time In The History Of Naval Warfare Where Two Enemy Fleets Fought Without Seeing Each Other. 1943 The Last Major German Strongholds In North Africa, Tunis And Bizerte, Fell To Allied Forces. 1945 Germany Signed Unconditional Surrender Ending World War Ii. It Would Take Effect The Next Day. 1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. Was Founded. The Company Was Later Renamed Sony. 1951 Russia Was Admitted To Participate In The 1952 Olympic Games By The International Olympic Committee. 1954 French Colonial Forces Surrendered To The Vietminh At Dien Bien Phu After 55 Days Of Fighting. 1954 The United States And The United Kingdom Rejected The Soviet Union's Bid To Join Nato. 1958 Howard Johnson Set An Aircraft Altitude Record In F- 104. 1960 Leonid Brezhnev Became President Of The Soviet Union. 1975 U.S. President Ford Declared An End To The Vietnam War. 1984 A $180 Million Out-Of-Court Settlement Was Announced In The Agent Orange Class-Action Suit Brought By Vietnam Veterans Who Claimed They Had Suffered Injury From Exposure To The Defoliant While Serving In The Armed Forces. 1992 A 203-Year-Old Proposed Constitutional Amendment Barring The U.S. Congress From Giving Itself A Midterm Pay Raise Was Ratified As The 27th Amendment. 1994 The Edvard Munch Painting "The Scream" Was Recovered After Being Stolen 3 Months Earlier From An Oslo Museum. This Version Of "The Scream", One Of Four Different Versions, Was Painted On Paper. 1996 The Trial Of Serbian Police Officer Dusan Tadic Opened In The Netherlands. He Was Later Convicted On Murder-Torture Charges And Was Sentenced To 20 Years In Prison. 1997 A Report Released By The U.S. Government Said That Switzerland Provided Nazi Germany With Equipment And Credit During World War Ii. Germany Exchanged For Gold That Had Been Plundered Or Stolen. Switzerland Did Not Comply With Postwar Agreements To Return The Gold. 1998 Daimler-Benz Bought Chrysler Corp. For Close To $40 Billion. It Was The Largest Industrial Merger On Record. 1999 A Jury Ruled That "The Jenny Jones Show" And Warner Bros. Were Liable In The Shooting Death Of Scott Amedure. He Was Killed By Another Guest On The Show. The Jury's Award Was $25 Million. 1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, Three Chinese Citizens Were Killed And 20 Were Wounded When A Nato Plane Mistakenly Bombed The Chinese Embassy. 1999 In Guinea-Bissau, The Government Of President Joo Bernardo Vieira Was Ousted In A Military Coup. 2003 In Washington, Dc, General Motors Corp. Delivered Six Fuel Cell Vehicles To Capitol Hill For Lawmakers And Others To Test Drive During The Next Two Years. 2017 Do smiled.

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