Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, March 10 ___________________________________________________ Today, March 10 in 1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. ______________________________________________________ I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) Yeah, me too. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: California Identity thief nailed with camera __________________________________________ On a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking... I Gave Up Reading Sign In A Bar: 'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.' Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way... Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You Sleep Alone The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us. __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: __________________________________________ Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man says, "I do Father." The priest says, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approaches a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," is the man's reply. "Then leave this den of Satan," says the priest, and he walks up to O'Toole. "Do you want to go to heaven?" "No, I don't Father," O'Toole replies. The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole smiles, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sarah Avedisian, 39, Fresno, California Fresno identity thieves caught on camera arrested 4 months later On Monday, property crimes detectives with the Fresno County Sheriffs Office arrested a woman they had been trying to locate for more than four months. She is 39 year old Sarah Avedisian of Fresno. Detectives developed information that Avedisian was in the area of Clinton and West Avenues in Fresno. They responded to a business near the intersection, found her and took her into custody. She has been booked into the Fresno County Jail. She face numerous felony and misdemeanor charges related to burglary, identity theft and drug possession. Her bail is set at $105,000. On Monday, property crimes detectives with the Fresno County Sheriffs Office arrested a woman they had been trying to locate for more than four months. She is 39 year old Sarah Avedisian of Fresno. Detectives developed information that Avedisian was in the area of Clinton and West Avenues in Fresno. They responded to a business near the intersection, found her and took her into custody. She has been booked into the Fresno County Jail. She face numerous felony and misdemeanor charges related to burglary, identity theft and drug possession. Her bail is set at $105,000. What finally nailed her was a facial recognition camera at Walmart. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: Linux Mint Dear Webby, You are always talking about how Linux is easy, fast and secure so when my laptop died I found a refurb laptop with Linux Mint preinstalled for less than $100. It is really fast and is easy to use (similar to old Windows XP) but you never said whether it still needs things like Malwarebytes, CCleaner and other programs. Do I need to get them for this computer? Thanks for your assistance, love your newsletter. Ginger Dear Ginger Good for you! Yes, there is a Malwarebytes for Linux. MailWasher goes right to the server and washes out the spam BEFORE it gets to your computer. It is already Linux anyway. I don't think you need CrapCleaner, but if you do, BleachBit makes a Linux Mint version of CrapCleaner. You don't have to worry about most of those utilities. IF and when, emphasis on the IF, you get some kind of problem, that needs to be dealt with, ask a friendly nearby Penguin or me, and we will find the proper program. However, until you DO have a problem, don't worry about it. We run servers on Linux until the machine dies of old age, without ever using any utilities. So, don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | Monkeys in a Zoo Can Sharpen Stones to Break the Glass |
_____________________________________________ The mother of a problem child complained to the pediatrician that she was on the go constantly trying to ward off the little boy's next misadventure. The pediatrician prescribed tranquilizers for her and on her next visit he asked whether they had helped calm her. "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. the mother of a problem child who complained to the pediatrician that she was on the go constantly trying to ward off the little boy's next misadventure. The pediatrician prescribed tranquilizers for her and on her next visit he asked whether they had helped calm her. "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. _____________________________________________ Dear God: --"Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother." -- Larry. --"If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes." -- Mickey. --"In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?" -- Jane. --"I read the Bible. What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me." -- Alison. --"Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?" -- Norma. --"Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy." -- Joyce. ____________________________________________ "I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat." ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today March 10 in 0241 BC The Roman Merchant's fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the Battle of Aegusa. 1656 In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was extended to all free men regardless of their religion. 1785 Thomas Jefferson was appointed minister to France. He succeeded Benjamin Franklin. 1792 John Stone patented the pile driver. 1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British. 1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 1848 The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the war with Mexico. 1849 Abraham Lincoln applied for a patent for a device to lift vessels over shoals by means of inflated cylinders. 1864 Ulysses S. Grant became commander of the Union armies in the U.S. Civil War. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." 1880 The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. 1894 New York Gov. Roswell P. Flower signed the nation's first dog-licensing law. 1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the British, when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men. 1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 1903 In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at Courrieres. 1909 Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and Malaya. 1910 Slavery was abolished in China. 1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding late-night work for women. 1927 Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to speak in public. 1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 1940 W2XBS-TV in New York City aired the first televised opera as it presented scenes from "I Pagliacci". 1941 The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that their players would begin wearing batting helmets during the 1941 season. 1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain allowed food to reach France. 1944 The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. 1947 The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of Germany. 1947 Poland and Czechoslovakia signed a 20-year mutual aid pact. 1949 Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars was convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at Ashau Valley. 1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its headquarters from Paris. 1971 The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the voting age to 18. 1975 The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese town of Ban Me Thout. 1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 1982 The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their continued support of terrorism. 1987 The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as test-tube and artificial insemination. 1990 Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months after seizing power in a coup. 1991 "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 1995 U.S. Secretary of State Warren Christopher told Yasser Arafat that he must do more to curb Palestinian terrorists. 1998 U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the first vaccinations against anthrax. 2003 North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event was one of several in a patter of unusual military maneuvers 2020 Do smiled. |
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