Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 10  Happy Thanksgiving Day, if you are in or near Canada! ___________________________________________________ History on this day, october 10, in 1963, A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award  Colorado Dingbat Malfuntion tied up Tinder date, then stabbed, choked, and threatened to kill him  ____________________________________________________ When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile. --- Bob Edwards To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. --- Voltaire One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. --- Will Durant The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex ___________________________________________________ The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!" Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it." Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" ____________________________________________________ When you're 4... success is... Not peeing in your pants. When you're 12... success is... Having friends. When you're 16... success is... Having A driver's license. When you're 20... success is... Having sex. When you're 35... success is... Having money. When you're 50... success is... Having money. When you're 60... success is... Having sex. When you're 70... success is... Having A driver's license. When you're 75... success is... Having friends. When you're 80... success is... Not peeing in your pants. __________________________________________________  Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by  Lauren Dooley, 22, Colorado Springs, usa  Colorado Dingbat Malfuntion tied up Tinder date, then stabbed, choked, and threatened to kill him  A Colorado woman is accused of tying up a man she met on Tinder before stabbing, choking, and threatening to kill him inside her apartment, police said. Lauren Dooley, 22, was arrested Wednesday, Sept. 28, after Colorado Springs police officers responded to an apartment complex in the 2500 block of Each Cache La Poudre Street. The officers had received a call around 5:45 p.m. that evening where they heard the 21-year-old victim saying he was "bleeding all over the bed" and telling someone: "because you cut me" and "youre going to kill me," according to an arrest affidavit obtained by FOX 21. Responding officers found a male naked and bleeding in the parking lot of the apartment complex who needed help. The victim was seen backing away from Dooley "who appeared to have blood smeared on her arms and hands," according to an arrest affidavit. The victim accused her of tying him up and cutting him. The victim told officers the two had met on Tinder. They agreed to go to her apartment where she took her clothes off and performed oral sex on him before using duck tape to bind the victims wrists and ankles together. The victim said he "found it odd, but consented to it," according to the affidavit. At some point, Dooley got out a kitchen knife and demanded the victim go to the bedroom at which point he no longer consented to stay at her apartment. The victim obeyed Dooley for fear of his life and got into her bed. Dooley then got on top of him and cut his left shoulder before choking him with her hands and then with a belt, the affidavit said. Dooley became upset that the victim was "bleeding all over her bed" so she told him to get in the bathtub, the affidavit said. He complied and Dooley ordered food from DoorDash. She allegedly told him: "if you scream or say anything, Ill kill you." After eating, Dooley got into bed with the victim and pulled a blanket over him. The victim noticed that the knife shed used earlier was at her feet. After she fell asleep, the victim managed to obtain the knife and free himself. While attempting to get his keys and phone, he bumped into a table, waking her up, and ran into the parking lot for help. Responding officers conducted of a sweep of Dooleys apartment and found a kitchen knife near the bed, several soaked rags, and blood all over the bathtub. Dooley was arrested and charged with several felonies including second-degree kidnapping, assault in the second- degree, menacing, and false imprisonment. _____________________________________________________ On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." _____________________________________________________   Atlanic Road, Norway _________________________________________________ On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. You can leave husbands, but please no babies." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ Jill chewed out her husband at the company Thanksgiving picnic. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?" "Not a bit," the husband replied. "I tell them I'm just filling up the plate for you!" _________________________________________________  Dearwebby's tech support pits From:Jerry Re: Lost CTRL C and CTRL V Dear Webby I don't know what happened, but I seem to have lost my CTRL+C and CTRL+V capabilities! Any thoughts on how to get them back? Sorry if it's a stupid question! Jerry  Dear Jerry That is not a stupid question. The only stupid questions re the iones you did not ask. Your usable amount of RAM is in use or bunged up. Hightlight a comma or period, copy that, and paste that. That will normally clear the clipboard of any big stuff. After that run CrapCleaner from http://webby.com/tools to clean up the temporary files. Rebooting also helps. Have fun! Dear webby ___________________________________________________ "Growing up, my Mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam head-first into our living room window. If she REALLY felt bad, though, she'd have moved the bird feeder outside." --- Rich Johnson ___________________________________________________ Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes was limited to women and began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'" ----------------- Since I reverted to being an un-tamed bachelor, I found that buying more dishes just makes the weekly dish-washing even more tedious. _____________________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________  today, october 10, in 1845, The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 1865, The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 1886, The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York City. 1887, Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 1911, China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries under Sun Yat-sen. 1913, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 1933, Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 1938, Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 1943, Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of China. 1957, U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 1959, Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the first global airline service. 1963, A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 1965, The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" comic strip. 1973, Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British rule. 1984, The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA, defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by any nation, group, organization or individual." 1987, Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 1991, The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction to a military coup that forced President Jean- Claude Aristide into exile. 1994, Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander- in-chief of the army and pledged to leave the country. 1994, Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 1997, The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the public. Architect Frank Gehry designed the 450 ft. long and 98 ft. wide building. 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush presented a list of 22 most wanted terrorists. 2003, Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 2010, In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 2022 Do! smiled.