Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, April 10  ______________________________________________________ Today, April 10 in 1790 The U.S. patent system was established when U.S. President George Washington signed the Patent Act of 1790 into law. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Florida man arrested after strangers find him asleep on their porch with loaded shotgun  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Fervor is the weapon of choice for the impotent. --- Frantz Fanon "I got a good tip from my stockbroker the other day. He said, 'For only 39 cents, I can super size those fries for you.'" --- Jay Leno _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ On the last day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?" "No," said the little boy... "I give up," she said. "What is it?" The boy replied, "It's a puppy!" ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Gerius Adams, 26, Haines City, Florida  Florida man arrested after strangers find him asleep on their porch with loaded shotgun  A family in Haines City woke up to a surprise Thursday morning when they found a stranger asleep on their front porch with a loaded, altered shotgun. Gerius Adams, 26, told police he was walking home after drinking at a local bar around 2:30 a.m. when he got very tired. So, he walked onto the porch and went to sleep, according to the Haines City Police Department. The loaded shotgun found in Adams possession was shorter than the 16-inch minimum required by law, police say. The serial number on the gun had also been filed down and painted over. Police say Adams is a convicted felon and is not allowed to be in possession of a firearm. Adams told police he knew he wasn't supposed to have it, but he needed protection. Adams faces charges for burglary of a dwelling, possession of a short-barreled shotgun, possession of a weapon with an altered serial number, possession of a firearm by a felon and possession of ammunition by a felon. Guns and alcohol are a bad combination, Chief Jim Elensky said. The most important think here is that no one, including Mr. Adams, was hurt. Those inside did the right thing by calling us and our officers responded quickly.  
 From: Ann Re:Lost Favorites  Dear DearWebby I have a big problem this time...somehow my "My Favorites" has disappeared...I have run "search" and it didn't find it. I did run Regcure the other day but didn't need "MF" until today.... could that have wiped it out? Is there someway this can be retrieved. Any help will be gratefully received. Ann  Dear Ann Dear Ann Are you beginning to see why I don't recommend regcure and similar stuff? I don't know of any way to retrieve lost IE favorites, that is why I frequently recommend saving them to a file. Just remember: ALT FINE If you do that once a week, your bookmarks are never too far out of date and can be IMPORTED into the Favorites again.. Just in case you DID at one time do that when I mentioned it in the Humor Letter, do a search for "bookmark". If you find a bookmark.html or bookmark.txt, you can import them into your Favorites. Have FUN! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Following are actual answers from students on music tests: - The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. - Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. - Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. - All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know ex- actly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. - Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue. - Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco. - A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. - Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. - Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys. - I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say. - Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical com- positions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. - Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti. 
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 Thanks too SSS for this confession: First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the last straw was learning that roadside service couldn't get a locksmith to me for at least two hours. Finally the guy showed, looking exhausted. As he struggled with my door, I joked, "Do those Slim Jim tools come in purse-size?" "Yeah," he muttered. "They're called keys." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Labeling Moving Boxes Label items with a permanent marker. Make sure to note the contents in the box and which room it belongs in. Also clearly mark boxes with breakable items with "FRAGILE". For a very organized move, mark each box with a number and keep an inventory of which items are in each box. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
Interesting Instagram feeds. 
 ___________________________________________________ Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ___________________________________________________ A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . they must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God! ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The kindergarten teacher was aghast at the words one of her charges was using. Taking him aside, she tried to exercise care and good judgment, but was intent on nipping this kind of language in the bud. "Where in the world did you ever hear anybody talking like that, anyway?" she asked. "In our car this morning," he answered cheerfully. "When Daddy was trying to hurry and drive me to school." "Well," she said. "I'm sure you don't know what it means, dear, but you must never use that language again." "But I do know what it means," he said. "It means the car won't start." ___________________________________________________  
 Today April 10 in 1741 Frederick II of Prussia defeated Maria Theresa's forces at Mollwitz and conquered Silesia. 1790 The U.S. patent system was established when U.S. President George Washington signed the Patent Act of 1790 into law. 1809 Austria declared war on France and its forces entered Bavaria. 1814 Napoleon was defeated at the Battle of Toulouse by the British and the Spanish. The defeat led to his abdication and exile to Elba. 1849 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. He sold the rights for $100. 1854 The constitution of the Orange Free State in south Africa was proclaimed. 1862 Union forces began the bombardment of Fort Pulaski in Georgia along the Tybee River. 1865 During the American Civil War, at Appomattox, General Robert E. Lee issued his last order. 1866 The American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) was incorporated. 1902 South African Boers accepted British terms of surrender. 1912 The Titanic set sail from Southampton, England. 1919 In Mexico, revolutionary leader Emiliano Zapata was killed by government troops. 1922 The Genoa Conference opened. The meeting was used to discuss the reconstruction of Europe after World War I. 1925 F. Scott Fitzgerald published "The Great Gatsby" for the first time. 1930 The first synthetic rubber was produced. 1932 Paul von Hindenburg was elected president of Germany with 19 million votes. Adolf Hitler came in second with 13 million votes. 1938 Germany annexed Austria after Austrians had voted in a referundum to merge with Germany. 1941 In World War II, U.S. troops occupied Greenland to prevent Nazi infiltration. 1941 Ford Motor Co. became the last major automaker to recognize the United Auto Workers as the representative for its workers. 1944 Russian troops recaptured Odessa from the Germans. 1945 German Me 262 jet fighters shot down ten U.S. bombers near Berlin. 1953 Warner Bros. released "House of Wax." It was the first 3-D movie to be released by a major Hollywood studio. 1953 Actress Hedy Lamarr became a U.S. citizen. 1959 Japan's Crown Prince Akihito married commoner Michiko Shoda. 1960 The U.S. Senate passed the Civil Rights Bill. 1963 129 people died when the nuclear-powered submarine USS Thresher failed to surface off Cape Cod, MA. 1971 The American table tennis team arrived in China. They were the first group of Americans officially allowed into China since the founding of the People Republic in 1949. The team had recieved the surprise invitation while in Japan for the 31st World Table Tennis Championship. 1972 An earthquake in southern Iran killed more than 5,000 people. 1972 The U.S. and the Soviet Union joined with 70 other nations in signing an agreement banning biological warfare. 1973 In Switzerland, 108 people died when a plane crashed while attempting to land at Basel. 1974 Yitzhak Rabin replaced resigning Israeli Prime Minister, Golda Meir. Meir resigned over differences within her Labor Party. 1980 Spain and Britain agreed to reopen the border between Gibraltar and Spain. It had been closed since 1969. 1981 Imprisoned IRA hunger striker Bobby Sands was elected to the British Parliament. 1984 The U.S. Senate condemned the CIA mining of Nicaraguan harbors. 1988 On Wall Street, 48 million shares of Navistar International stock changed hands in a single-block trade. It was the largest transaction ever executed on the New York Stock Exchange. 1990 Three European hostages kidnapped at sea in 1987 by Palestinian extremists were released in Beirut. 1992 A bomb exploded in London's financial district. The bomb, set off by the Irish Republican Army, killed three people and injured 91. 1994 NATO warplanes launched air strikes for the first time on Serb forces that were advancing on the Bosnian Muslim town of Gordazde. The area had been declared a U.N. safe area. 1996 U.S. President Clinton vetoed a bill that would have outlawed a technique used to end pregnancies in their late stages. 1998 Negotiators reached a peace accord on governing British ruled Northern Ireland. Britain's direct rule was ended. 1999 The www.June4.org web site was launched by Chinese dissidents and human rights activists to promote their campaign for democracy in China. 2001 The Netherlands legalized mercy killings and assisted suicide for patients with unbearable, terminal illness. 2002 Former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke before the U.S. Senate as a representative of the Israeli government. He warned that suicide bombers would spread to the U.S. if Israel was not allowed to finish its military offensive in the West Bank. Netanyaho also cited the goals of dismantling the terror regime and expelling Arafat from the region, ridding the Palestinian territories of terrorist weapons and establishing "physical barriers" to protect Israelis from future Palestinian attacks. 2009 In Fiji, President Josefa Iloilo suspended the nation's Constitution, dismissed all judges and constitutional appointees and assumed all governance in the country. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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