Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 10 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Mum 'set daughter on fire to try and revive her after she drowned in bath' Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 10 in 1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman suffrage. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. --- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Greater-bird-of-paradise _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Kati for these winning excerpts from actual High School writings: 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carly Harris, 37, Trealaw, Rhondda, south Wales Mum 'set daughter on fire to try and revive her after she drowned in bath' Carly Harris, 37, was arrested after Amelia-Brooke Harris was found dead at their home in Trealaw, Rhondda, south Wales, at 10.20pm last night. Nicole Sallam, who claims to be a family friend, said Amelia tragically drowned in the bath before Harris, who she says has mental health issues, tried to bring her back to life by setting her on fire. She said: 'She drowned in the bath and the mother who has mental health problems thought she could revive her child by burning her. Some neighbors, who knew Amelia, don't quite believe that story. Police are still investigating. Tech Support Pits From: Rheta Re: Lost mouse Dear webby: My grand son has lost his mouse. I think he has melinium not sure of the spelling of it. And I'm not sure of the keys that can be used to find it. Got any ideas On this problem ? Dear Rheta Every time I lost a mouse and rebooting didn't help, plugging in a new one fixed the problem. They don't last very long, especially the cheaper ones. Worst are the $1.49 mice that get shipped with new computers. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied. "Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her. "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
An IRS man asks a farmer, "How much is your prize bull worth?" The farmer says, "For tax purposes, or has he been hit by a train?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Less Sweeping and Vacuuming Limit the wear and tear on your flooring and how frequently you have to vacuum by not wearing shoes in your house. It will cut down on the amount of dirt that winds up on your floor dramatically. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The workplace of the tomorrow will have two employees: a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog The dog is there to keep the man from touching the computers. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble." The second deaf man signed back, "Boy, you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me heck for being out so late." The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?" The second deaf man signed, "I turned out the light!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, June 10 in 1776 The Continental Congress appointed a committee to write a Declaration of Independence. 1793 The Jardin des Plantes zoo opened in Paris. It was the first public zoo. 1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the U.S. The dispute was over merchant vessels being able to travel safely through the Mediterranean. The US responded by organizing the Marines and sending them to Tripoli. 1854 The U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, held its first graduation. 1898 U.S. Marines landed in Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 1902 The "outlook" or "see-through" envelope was patented by Americus F. Callahan. 1903 Binney & Smith Company began developing a product line of wax crayons. The product was named Crayola. 1909 The SOS distress signal was used for the first time. The Cunard liner SS Slavonia used the signal when it wrecked off the Azores. 1916 Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the Arabs during the Great Arab Revolt. 1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman suffrage. 1924 The Republican National Convention was broadcast by NBC radio. It was the first political convention to be on radio. 1925 The state of Tennessee adopted a new biology text book that denied the theory of evolution. 1933 Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were in a car accident on a rural road in north Texas. The third-degree burns suffered by Parker resulted in a pronounced limp for the rest of her life. 1935 Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G. Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith. 1940 Italy declared war on France and Britain. In addition, Canada declared war on Italy. 1943 Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a Hungarian journalist. 1943 The Allies began bombing Germany around the clock. 1944 The youngest pitcher in major league baseball pitched his first game. Joe Nuxhall was 15 years old (and 10 months and 11 days). 1946 Italy established a republic replacing its monarchy. 1948 Chuck Yeager exceeded the speed of sound in the Bell XS-1. He was the first American to go that fast. Germans had gone over the speed of sound with Messerschmitts before 1945, but only briefly. 1954 General Motors announced the gas turbine bus had been produced successfully. 1967 Israel and Syria agreed to a cease-fire that ended the Six-Day War. 1971 The U.S. ended a 21-year trade embargo of China. 1984 The U.S. Army successfully tested an antiballistic missile. 1984 The United States and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations for the first time in 117 years. 1985 The Israeli army pulled out of Lebanon after 1,099 days of occupation. 1990 The Civic Forum movement won Czechoslovakia's first free elections since 1946. The movement was founded by President Vaclav Havel. 1990 Bulgaria's former Communist Party won the country's first free elections in more than four decades. 1993 It was announced by scientists that genetic material was extracted from an insect that lived when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. 1994 U.S. President Clinton intensified sanctions against Haiti's military leaders. U.S. commercial air travel was suspended along with most financial transactions between Haiti and the U.S. 1996 Britain and Ireland opened Northern Ireland peace talks. The IRA's political arm Sinn Fein was excluded. 1998 The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that poor children in Milwaukee could attend religious schools at taxpayer expense. 1999 NATO suspended air strikes in Yugoslavia after Slobodan Milosevic agreed to withdraw his forces from Kosovo. 2015 The movie Jurassic World opened in 60 countries. It became the first movie to make $500 million its opening weekend. 2018 Do smiled. |
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