Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, September 21 ____________________________________________________ Today, September 21 in 1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman left daughter, 3, in car outside strip club while she worked _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) the White House has 16 bedrooms. And the only president to use each and every one of them was Bill Clinton." --- David Letterman _______________________________________________ An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen , the man leaned over to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'. The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is, because I think she forgot it too. ________________________________________________` Morning coffee ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Manouchika Daniels, 23, Lauderhill, Florida Woman left daughter, 3, in car outside strip club while she worked While her mother worked the pole inside, a three-year-old girl was roaming around the parking lot of a Florida strip club early yesterday morning, police report. Responding to a 911 call about the unsupervised child, police found the girl--crying and confused--alone outside the all-nude Vegas Cabaret in Lauderhill, a Broward County city, around 2 AM. The child had apparently been sleeping inside a Toyota Corolla that was not running and had a window cracked open for ventilation. In the rear of the car, cops reported, were toys and a car seat. Around 2:30 AM, Manouchika Daniels, 23, approached officers and identified herself as the child's mother. According to police, Daniels had left her daughter unattended in the parking lot for about three hours. Seen above, Daniels was arrested on a felony child neglect charge and booked into the county jail, where the Miami resident is locked up in lieu of $5000 bond. Daniels's daughter, police reported, appeared to be well cared for and in good spirits as she and officers awaited the arrival of child welfare workers (who eventually took custody of the girl). DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Robert Re: Mail like Reno Dear Webby, Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!' | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. Honey, she said, "You received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Moving Large Planters Since most planters are wider on top than on the bottom, they can be difficult to move with a hand truck. Use an old skateboard instead. If you don't have one, you can probably find one at your local thrift store. They work well for moving other heavy objects as well. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Spectacular Photos From The Revamped Hubble Telescope |
___________________________________________________ On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid- ship so that it can be viewed from both sides. This procedure makes it available to larger crowds at popular movies, but usually the junior officers get a reverse image from 'the wrong side of the screen.' One evening at dinnertime an enterprising young ensign passed the following word over the officers' IMC circuit: "The movie to be shown in the wardroom tonight for the senior officers is on the right side of the screen - The Right-Handed Gun, starring Paul Newman." "For the junior officers on the wrong side of the screen - The Left-Handed Gun, starring Namwen Luap." ___________________________________________________ The teacher in an adult Sabbath class asked a woman to read about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!'" she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month - until you loathe it." When the woman finished she paused, looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" ___________________________________________________ During a bank robbery in California the police chief told the sergeant to cover all exits so the robbers could not get away. Later the sergeant reports to the chief. "Sorry Sir, but they got away." The chief very angry says, "I told you to cover all of the exits!" "I did," replied the sergeant, "but they got away through the entrance." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 21 in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. 1784 "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was published for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the first daily paper in America. 1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first American gasoline powered automobile for a test drive. The "horseless carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon. 1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast territory of Manchuria. 1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 1941 "The Second Mrs. Burton" premiered to the entire CBS Radio Network. 1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of China. 1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both directions) in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. 1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized citizen to hold the office of Secretary of State. 1981 The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O'Connor to be the first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was the brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect when he was assassinated. 1984 General Motors and the United Auto Workers union reached an agreement that would end the previous six days of spot strikes. 1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their family reunion program. 1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he was ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was effectively seizing all state power. 1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted to admit women. 2019 Do smiled. |
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