Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, May 6 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Man Drove Truck Into Group of 'Yuppies With Dogs'  ___________________________________________________ Today, May 6 in 1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz. ____________________________________________________ Where facts are few, experts are many. --- Donald R. Gannon ____________________________________________________ Scientists have finally figured out what is wrong with men. The problem lies in the two halves of their brains - the left and the right. The left half has nothing right in it And the right half has nothing left in it! ____________________________________________________ TRUISMS BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. KLEENEX: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. ____________________________________________________   Facinating Evening in New Zealand Gunjan Singh Bhati ____________________________________________________ Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10-ton truck and landed up in hospital in intensive care. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside." "What does she read?" "My life insurance policy." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Timothy Nielsen, 57, Chicago, Illinois, USA Man Drove Truck Into Group of 'Yuppies With Dogs' A man announced his intent before driving his pickup truck onto a grassy median on Chicagos North Side and striking two people in a group he labeled yuppies with dogs, Cook County prosecutors said Monday. Timothy Nielsen, 57, was charged Monday with four counts of attempted murder and ordered held without bond by Cook County Circuit Judge John Fitzgerald Lyke, the AP reports. Prosecutors say 10 people were celebrating a birthday Sunday when Nielsen drove up to group and complained about the behavior of the groups dogs. After members of the group asked him to leave, he reversed his pickup and then drove onto the median. A 42-year-old woman was briefly trapped under the truck and was seriously injured. Another victim was treated at the scene. During the bond hearing, prosecutors detailed Nielsens prior criminal history, including a four-year prison sentence for aggravated kidnapping. Nielsen and another person in 1989 entered a mans home with guns and, claiming to be police, took the man from his home, said Assistant States Attorney Lorraine Scaduto. They took the man to a garage and beat him, holding him for ransom. Nielson also served a prison sentence for running a loan-sharking operation with his brother that they enforced with violence and death threats. It wasn't immediately known if Nielson has retained a lawyer to speak on his behalf. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Candy RE: Copyright sign  Dear Webby Yeah, I know, you told us a few times already. However, I have a severe case of OS (Oldtimers Syndrome) You always, whenever you know the names, put the copyright onto pictures. How do I do that? Thanks Candy  Dear Candy I love eating candy! Ok, when you got the picture open, open the text icon in your graphics program. Put the cursor where you want the writing. Make sure the NUM LOCK on the numeric keypad is lit. Hold down the ALT key. Type 0169 on the numeric keypad, let go the ALT key, and appears. Magic! If you are limited to a cellphone or short keyboard, just copy it from here:  Candy, the cute one, 2021 Have FUN! DearWebby 
 In a high school science quiz, there was the question, "When water becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?" Everyone answered, "Its volume increases." Except one wise guy who wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price increases." 
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 A livesstock truck overturned in my town. The TV reporter stated, "Two cows, Black and Gus, escaped into the nearby woods. After the commercial break, the reporter corrected himself, "About that overturned truck, make those Black Angus cattle." ___________________________________________ A man was eating a meal at a restaurant. He checks his pockets and leaves his tip -- three pennies. As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves." The man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?" "Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man." Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough." "And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor." Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too." "And the third penny tells me that your father was one, too." ____________________________________________ The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $25 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, May 6 in 1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the end of the Renaissance. 1529 Babur defeated the Afghan Chiefs in the Battle of Ghagra, India. 1576 The peace treaty of Chastenoy ended the fifth war of religion. 1682 King Louis XIV moved his court to Versailles, France. 1840 The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale in Great Britain. 1851 The mechanical refrigerator was patented by Dr. John Gorrie. 1851 Linus Yale patented the clock-type lock. 1877 Chief Crazy Horse surrendered to U.S. troops in Nebraska. 1882 The U.S. Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act. The act barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years. 1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz. 1910 King Edward VII of England died. He was succeeded by his second son, George V. 1937 The German airship Hindenburg crashed and burned in Lakehurst, NJ. Thirty-six people (of the 97 on board) were killed. 1941 Joseph Stalin assumed the Soviet premiership. 1942 During World War II, the Japanese seized control of the Philippines. About 15,000 Americans and Filipinos on Corregidor surrendered to the Japanese. 1945 Axis Sally made her final propaganda broadcast to Allied troops. 1959 The Pablo Picasso painting of a Dutch girl was sold for $154,000 in London. It was the highest price paid (at the time) for a painting by a living artist. 1960 Britain's Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong Jones. They were divorced in 1978. 1960 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960. 1962 The first nuclear warhead was fired from the Polaris submarine. 1981 A jury of international architects and sculptors unanimously selected Maya Ying Lin's entry for the design of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1994 The Channel Tunnel officially opened. The tunnel under the English Channel links England and France. 1994 Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against U.S. President Clinton. The case alleged that he had sexually harassed her in 1991. 1997 Army Staff Sgt. Delmar G. Simpson was sentenced to 25 years in prison for raping six trainees at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland. 1997 Four health-care companies agreed to a settlement of $600 million to hemophiliacs who had contracted AIDS from tainted blood between 1978-1985. 1999 A parole board in New York voted to release Amy Fisher. She had been in jail for 7 years for shooting her lover's wife, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face. 2001 Chandra Levy's parents reported her missing to police in Washington, DC. Levy's body was found on May 22, 2002 in Rock Creek Park. 2002 "Spider-Man" became the first movie to make more than $100 million in its first weekend. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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