Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 3 Thank you, Mary! Today's Bonehead Award: Florida man called 911 more than 200 times and hung up. He is in jail now. ______________________________________________________ Today, February 3 in 1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. --- John Quincy Adams The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." --- Alden Nowlan ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Bert Apparently I tend to brag too much about my home state of Ohio. One day I told a long-suffering friend, "You know, the first man in powered flight was from Ohio. The first man to orbit the earth was from Ohio. And the first man on the moon was from Ohio." "Sounds like a lot of people are trying to get out of Ohio," he observed. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Dave I'm dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I'm tense. When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, "Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah." ______________________________________________________ Snow blower on the White Pass and Yukon Route railroad, steam powered, built in 1909. Winter and summer picture. The cast iron vanes are perfectly balanced, and adjustable to suit the type of snow of the day. You just see the cutters. Behind them are the "throwers", that fling the cut snow 50 feet. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Reston, 38, St. Augustine Beach, Florida He's called 911 more than 200 times and hangs up. A man accused of habitually calling 911 and hanging up is now facing charges in St. Johns County. Michael Reston, 38, was booked into the St. Johns County jail on what law enforcement calls a public order crime. Just before 2 a.m. Wednesday, St. Augustine Beach police officers were called out to the St. Augustine Beach pier to investigate a 911 hang up complaint. Dispatchers said they had received a 911 hang up from the same number just days prior. According to the police report, officers found Reston in his car and he admitted to calling 911 and not having an emergency. That's when officers decided to look him up on their system. Officers say he previously made identical calls in Tampa, Port St. Lucie and St. Johns County. According to Tampa police, Reston called 911 approximately 200 times in two months. St. Augustine visitor Maurice Lafleur called it unacceptable. Call 911 is an abuse of something that (is) better left for real emergencies, Lafleur said. A Sheriff's Office spokesperson said it's not just illegal but also costly. Call centers are required to dispatch officers to make sure there's no real emergency -- not to mention the potential of holding up the line for someone needing help. If you abuse the system, it's normal that you should be sanctioned for something, Lafleur said. The report said Reston told deputies he had been sleeping in his car and wanted to talk with someone. He was issued a trespass warning and charged with misuse of 911, which is a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail and/or a $1,000 fine. From: Mila Re: Map site Dear DearWebby, You are probably preparing for your annual desert run and will be up to date on which mapping site is best nowadays. Don't worry, I'll be heading in the opposite direction, but would like to know what is best to use these days. Mila Dear Mila Due to insufficient funds, there won't be a desert run this year. Google maps is the lone leader. Nothing else comes within the same class. You can do 25 stops per map. Yahoo maps goes haywire at or before 10 stops, Mapquest can handle a lot of stops, but their fat blue line obliterating highway and road names makes it quite useless. MSN maps is the worst. With Google you can also use Google Earth. The interface between Google Earth and Google maps seems to be Microsoft inspired. Same company, but not fully compatible. You can step down from Google Earth to Google Maps by selecting printable version of your route, but you can't edit the map, step back up to Google Earth and expect the edit to show. It's strictly a one way relationship. If enough people get noisy about it, they will probably fix it, so that you can step back and forth. In summary: For route planning and printing: Google Maps is best. The overviews and printouts are quite readable while driving. For detail "homework", Google Earth is best. You can do fly-overs if you have an old version, embed links to pictures, articles, opening times, even hotel registration information. It's actually quite amazing what you can do with Google Earth. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Old words with new meanings... 1. Coffee: (n.) the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted: (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate: (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade: (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-Nilly: (adj.) impotent. 6. Negligent: (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph: (v.) to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle: (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence: (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash: (n.) a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle: (n.) a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude: (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon: (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster: (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism: (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent: (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At a session, last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few, minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!" The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to visit her!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cooking Sausage Links Stick two toothpicks through three links of breakfast sausage before cooking. It makes them easy to flip over, they cook evenly and stay together in the pan or on your griddle. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Flashback - Remember the roadside diner? |
___________________________________________________ Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter just would not end this year. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth said. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is: rear defrosters." ___________________________________________________ A tourist from the United States of America is at a restaurant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'President Trump is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell lies about Trump, and nothing would be done to me either!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!" ___________________________________________________ | Today February 3 in 1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have landed on the southern extremity of Africa. 1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that were fighting in the war against Quebec. That way, if they were killed, no real money was lost. 1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was established in Switzerland. 1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been printed on a train. 1869 Edwin Booth opened his new theatre in New York City. The first production was "Romeo and Juliet". 1900 In Frankfort, KY, gubernatorial candidate William Goebels died from an assasin's bullet wounds. On August 18, 1900, Ex-Sec. of State Caleb Powers was found guilt of conspiracy to murder Gov. Goebels. 1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings burned down. 1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, which had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It was the longest streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore Pierre Laval to office. 1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan, since the end of WWII had become quite obvious. 1951 Dick Button won the U.S. figure skating title for the sixth time. 1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, Yasser Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo, Japan. 1984 Challenger 4 was launched as the tenth space shuttle mission. 1989 South African politician P.W. Botha unwillingly resigned both party leadership and the presidency after suffering a stroke. 1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman executed in the U.S. since 1984. 1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing the death of 20 skiers on a lift. 2009 Eric Holder was sworn in as attorney general. He was the first African-American to hold the post. 2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold for $103.7 million. 2015 The British House of Commons voted to approve letting scientist create babies from the DNA of three people. 2019 Do smiled. |
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