Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, July 6 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Woman on tractor arrested after joining Rockwall 4th of July parade without permission, evading police  ___________________________________________________ Today, July 6 in 1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. (USSR) ____________________________________________________ Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) ____________________________________________________ According to George, home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. ____________________________________________________   ____________________________________________________ Millie: What do you do at your Bible Studies meeting ? Susan: We try to figure out how much can we can get away with and still go to heaven. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Laurie Bostic, 61, Rockwall, Texas USA  Woman on tractor arrested after joining Rockwall 4th of July parade without permission, evading police  A 61-year-old woman was arrested while driving a tractor Saturday after police said she refused to cooperate with officers and parade officials by joining the Rockwall 4th of July Parade. This happened at about 11:30 a.m., when police were called about Laurie Bostic causing a disturbance while driving a tractor in the Rockwall 4th of July Parade staging area near Utley Middle School. Bostic was not allowed to take part in the parade route, but police said she refused to cooperate with parade officials and officers, and decided to join the parade anyways. Police said she was driving dangerously and refused orders from officers, and they tried to pull her over, but she refused to stop while driving her tractor. Officers forced her from the road, where she drove into a fence, and her tractor was then disabled. Bostic was taken into custody and now faces charges of evading arrest, interference with a processional, disorderly conduct, and criminal mischief. She obviously has not seen "Easy Rider", a classic movie about as old as she is. That movie showed that joining a parade or following one without a permit is a jailable crime in the US.  
DearWebby's tech support pits from: Beverly re: McAfee Dear Webby You used to recommend McAfee, and I got a subscription. It has worked pretty well and no serious baddies slipped past it. Now, that McAfee got Hilaried in a Spanish jail, what is going to happen with the program? Beverly Dear Beverly McAfee sold the prgram for $100 Million more than a dozen years ago and became a naughty playboy with warrants out for his arrest in various countries. He has had nothing to do with the program since then. I dumped it and moved up to Malwarebytes when McAfee did not work on Windows 7 PRO. Because I was one of the first buyers of MalwareBytes, I got a lifetime subscription for one machine. I have been quite happy with MalwareBytes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Woman cleaning fish at sink to angler husband: "Why can't you be like the rest of the men? They never catch anything."
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 After the last child moves out of the house, Mom and Dad announce that they're getting a divorce. The kids are totally distraught and pay for a session with the world's most famous marriage counselor as a last effort at keeping their parents together. The counselor works for hours, tries all of his methods, but the couple still won't even talk to each other. Finally he goes over to a closet, brings out a beautiful violin and begins to play. After a minute, the couple start talking. The therapist keeps soloing on the violin and the couple discover that they're not actually that far apart and decide to give their marriage another try. The kids are amazed and ask the doctor how he managed to do it. He replies, "Well, I've never yet seen a couple that wouldn't talk through a violin solo." ____________________________________________ Marcy called to make flight reservations: "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The travel agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, of course I am sure! What flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!" ____________________________________________ My father, in the hospital after surgery to repair a hip replacement, needed assistance to get on and off the toilet and the bedpan. 89 years old, he was also extremely modest and had a tough time dealing with the matter-of-fact ways nursing personnel dealt with bodily functions. One time two aides put him on the bedpan and stood by the bed waiting for him to finish. He looked at them and said. "It'll cost you a quarter to watch." Another time an aide put him on the toilet and left. When she came back about 5 minutes later, she asked if he was done yet. He looked at her in all seriousness and asked, "Why, do you need to use it?" ______________________________________________ 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today, July 6, in 1483 King Richard III of England was crowned. 1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in Boston, MA, and deported back to England. 1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during the American Revolution. 1854 In Jackson, MI, the Republican Party held its first convention. 1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine. 1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. The child used in the test later became the director of the Pasteur Institute. 1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question was John Walker. 1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks. 1919 A British dirigible landed in New York at Roosevelt Field. It completed the first crossing of the Atlantic Ocean by an airship. 1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. (USSR) 1928 "The Lights of New York" was previewed in New York's Strand Theatre. It was the first all-talking movie. 1942 Diarist Anne Frank and her family took refuge from the Nazis in Amsterdam. 1945 Nicaragua became the first nation to formally accept the United Nations Charter. 1947 "Candid Microphone" began airing on ABC radio. 1966 Malawi became a republic within the Commonwealth with Dr. Hastings Banda as its first president. 1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a- half years. About 600,000 people died. 1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed after five years of house arrest by a federal court. 1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion. At the time it was the largest merger in corporate history. 1985 The submarine Nautilus arrived in Groton, Connecticut. The vessel had been towed from Mare Island Naval Shipyard. 1988 Several popular beaches were closed in New York City due to medical waste and other debris began washing up on the seashores. 1989 The U.S. Army destroyed its last Pershing 1-A missiles at an ammunition plant in Karnack, TX. The dismantling was under the terms of the 1987 Intermediate- range Nuclear Forces Treaty. 1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot rover on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on the red planet on July 4th. 1997 In Cambodia, Second Prime Minister Hun Sen ousted First Prime Minister Norodom Ranariddh and claimed to have the capital under his control. 1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march in Portadown. 2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 2021 Do smiled. 

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